119 comments

Submitted on 08/28/2020

Categories: Drama

I woke up floating and saw my own body lying down on the back, eyes tightly shut, and hands put together on top of the flat stomach.

Filled with curiosity, I flew around, observing my body that was in a black dress. The long sleeves covered my entire arms, hiding all the scars. The scars that were also on the pale face, making me stretch my hands to touch it. Yet, I couldn’t feel a thing. 

Letting out a deep sigh, I had no choice but to keep observing my own body. 

Until this one man came.

A man that I knew very well. The man who wore the black robe, the one whom I always saw for the last eighteen years. The man who gazed at the body lying inside the nicely engraved wooden box with neither a smile nor words.

I stared at the man, knowing very well that he couldn’t notice my presence. I observed his wavy red hair and dark brown eyes; the same one as mine. I examined the shape of his lips, his nose tip and his high nose bridge, then turned to see the face on my lifeless body, only to realize how similar we were.

Yes, similar, in terms of physical appearance. Ironically, our relationship wasn't that great.

I remembered that he was a busy man. He wasn't there when I needed him, even from when I was a kid.

"Papa, play with Bella, please?" 

"Maybe later. Papa is busy preparing a sermon."

"Sermon? What's that?"

"Papa's work. Now, go and play by yourself, okay?"

Change the sermon to midweek worship practice, church leader meeting, morning prayer, group bible study, Sunday service, and funeral service. You get the point: he was never available to spend time with me.

Also, he was overly strict. He expected me to obey everything he said, although he was asking for something unreasonable, to the extent that it annoyed me.

“Pa, just letting you know I’m going to a party with my cheerleader squad tonight,” I messaged him during my lunch break.

“You are going nowhere tonight, my dear. Stay at home.” In just a few minutes, the man had sent me a text back. The text that made me boil in anger. The text that made me excuse myself from my friends, walked to the secluded area behind the school building and dialled his number.

“What? Why can’t I go to the party?” I spoke as soon as I heard his greetings.

“I just feel it’s going to be unsafe. I can imagine your friends getting rowdy, drinking all night until you’re all wasted.”

“I can assure you it’s safe, Papa.”

“Hm…, well, I’ll let you go as long as you come back home by 10.”

His reply made my jaw drop in disbelief. “What? You're unreasonable, Papa! The party is going to start at 8, and you want me home by 10? They're going to call me a loser! I might even get bullied for this, you know? Do you want me to suffer?”

“You're the one being unreasonable! You’re comparing me to your friends; some strangers over a family member who took care of you since you were born?” He continued his nonsense preaching about my ungrateful behaviour. I rolled my eyes at his long reply, cursing him inside my mind, waiting for him to stop talking.

“Ugh, you never understand me! Fine, whatever you say, I’m still coming to the party tonight!”

Change the party to trivial matters like my cheerleader uniform, the length of my shorts, my newly bought swimwear, and the new piercing that I got. You get the point: debates, arguments, and fights were common occurrences between us.

To top that, he didn't even bat an eye when I told him I got a boyfriend.

“Sure, Kevin has a good attitude and looks trustworthy,” he commented, then glued his eyes back to read his book as if it was nothing special.

This reply made me realize a lot of things about our relationship.

This man never worried about my feelings; he only paid attention to how I acted toward him.

This man couldn’t care less about what’s going on with my life; he didn’t put me as his top priorities in life.

This man simply didn’t love me, his one and only daughter. At least that’s how I felt.

But what I saw today proved that wrong.

Because the man in front of me stretched his hands, gently caressing my pale face, slowly moving his fingertips from one cut to another.

Because the man who never looked sad for as long as I could remember, removed his hands from the cold body, covered his eyes with his right elbow, and started shedding tears. 

Because the man finally calmed down, dried his tears, then took the powerless hand of the girl into his and started talking to the dead body in this white-walled room.

“I never thought you would pass away before me.” Oh, neither did I, Papa.

“The past four days after the car accident, I started to think more about you, and realized that I knew nothing.” Same, Papa; I also feel I knew nothing about your actual feelings.

“Life introduced us. Yet my busy lifestyle was stopping me to know you more.” I’m partly at fault; I was busy partying with my friends and going on dates with my boyfriend instead of getting close to you.

“I’m sorry.” I’m sorry too, Papa.

“Pastor Gerald?” A familiar voice called the man in front of me. My eyes followed the source of the sound, only to see my sweetheart, Kevin, dressed in a black shirt and pants.

The man gave a faint smile to the boy, gestured him to wait at where he stood. The man then kissed the weak hand, placing it back, and looked at the girl inside the coffin for one last time.

"Goodbye, Bella, my beloved daughter. May God be with you until we meet again in Heaven.”

And the man in the black robe twirled the purple sash around his neck, walked towards Kevin, ready to start my funeral.

And with a heavy heart, with an inaudible voice, I muttered a reply.

Goodbye, Papa.

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119 comments

Ophoke Leonard
14:26 Oct 01, 2020

You are really doing great. Thanks for these styles of writing. Kindly check out this;https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/entity/author/B08GZHV17N?_encoding=UTF8&node=283155&offset=0&pageSize=12&searchAlias=stripbooks&sort=author-sidecar-rank&page=1&langFilter=default#formatSelectorHeader

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Tessa Takzikab
03:33 Sep 21, 2020

I have not read the rest of your color stories, although I probably will now that I know this is a series. Despite this, I really enjoyed your story. I find it a bit odd that she speaks in third person when asking her father to play with her, but depending on the age Bella was, that could make sense. Also, four days after a person dies, you can't really still position them, so her father would not be able to pick up her hand, and it would no longer be soft. I think it's a really cool idea to write from the perspective of someone who is al...

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Maurice Mullen
00:45 Sep 21, 2020

Great story. Would you mind reading my story Henry. Thank you

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Alwyn Mcnamara
02:58 Sep 04, 2020

Oh such a heartbreaking story. I enjoyed the way you developed the characters. I really could picture them and the scene. I also liked your creative take on the prompt. Well done

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Deborah Angevin
04:45 Sep 05, 2020

Thank you for your kind words, Alwyn! Glad that you enjoyed it :D

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Cricketer Amogh
03:45 Sep 03, 2020

I HAVE COMMENTED ALREADY, I CAE HERE TO TELL YOU THAT I HAVE READ ALL OF YOUR STORIES. ALL ARE AWESOME. WOULD YOU PLEASE CHECK OUT PART 3

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Becky Holland
23:59 Sep 02, 2020

What a nice job. I like the idea. May I make a suggestion? Do you see this? "I woke up floating and saw my own body lying down on the back, eyes tightly shut, and hands put together on top of the flat stomach. Filled with curiosity, I flew around, observing my body that was in a black dress. The long sleeves covered my entire arms, hiding all the scars. The scars that were also on the pale face, making me stretch my hands to touch it. Yet, I couldn’t feel a thing. Letting out a deep sigh, I had no choice but to keep observ...

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Deborah Angevin
04:46 Sep 05, 2020

After I reread the story, I have to agree with you; the opening bit could have been smoother! And sure, I'll check your stories :D

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H. w. Autumn
22:28 Sep 02, 2020

This story was so touching! I absolutely loved it, keep up the great work!

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Deborah Angevin
04:52 Sep 05, 2020

Thank you for reading and enjoying it! :D

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Melissa Hassan
15:52 Sep 02, 2020

I read your story as per your request. All I can say is, wow!!! This was well written. Well done!

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Deborah Angevin
04:52 Sep 05, 2020

Thank you for reading and enjoying it, Melissa! :D

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Melissa Hassan
05:51 Sep 05, 2020

My pleasure.🙂

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01:12 Sep 02, 2020

It was skillfully written everything was greatly inscribed.

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Stephen Closson
22:03 Sep 01, 2020

That was a very poignant story, very well done. It's a shame that she learned of her father's true feelings after it was too late for it to make a real difference. At least she was able to give him a goodbye of sorts. If you have the chance, you you mind giving my latest story 'Stains of Shame' a read? Thank you!

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17:42 Sep 01, 2020

The writing is very good in every technical sense. I have two suggestions, and I hope you will take them as constructive and helpful. a) Don't use the name Bella. 50% of the stories on Reedsy have that name in it. I am not sure why everyone is so obsessed with that moniker, but as soon as I see it I generally stop reading, because I know the story is not going to take me anywhere I have been before. b) This is a similar point. Take bigger chances. Writers should have something to say about their existence. This story is about grief and...

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I. F.
17:19 Sep 01, 2020

This was a beautiful story. You did a good job of diving into the two characters and their relationship. Your whole color series has been amazing, and I like that you write each one from a different point of view that gives us a deeper look into one of the characters. Your first sentence really captivated and scared me. This was great! If you get the chance, please check out some of the new stories I posted and let me know what you think.

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Avery G.
16:08 Sep 01, 2020

Wow, this was so good! I loved it! Great job!

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14:39 Sep 01, 2020

I love the relationship between father and daughter. Never mentioning a name but making everything reasonable to the readers. I love this story very well. The dead daughter trying to have a conversation with her father. Thumbs up!!!

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Angelina Maria
14:34 Sep 01, 2020

Here I am as per your request. This is a wonderful story, very heart-touching one. I like the way you introduce your characters with a vivid description. Overall, I think this one gets 8.5/10 Stay safe:) ~ K

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Elliot Thomas
13:33 Sep 01, 2020

I love your colour series. Each new series adds a new perspective that changes everything. The use of colour enhances the imagery. Good job once again

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Rambling Beth
12:43 Sep 01, 2020

This was really lovely, Deborah! I loved the relationship between the father and the daughter. :)

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Alexi Delavigne
10:39 Sep 01, 2020

I really enjoyed this story and love how how the stories are connected, but are still enjoyable as stand alone as well. Awesome job!

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08:37 Sep 01, 2020

Great story. The relationship between daughter and father and how sometimes we realize the importance too late! Nice job!

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Deborah Angevin
09:28 Sep 01, 2020

Thank you for checking it out, Michelle! Sure, I've seen this in real life too actually... :(

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Estelle Westley
05:37 Sep 01, 2020

Very well told. Sounds like it's from the heart - I loved it.

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Deborah Angevin
09:28 Sep 01, 2020

Thank you for enjoying it, Estelle! :D

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