21 comments

Aug 20, 2020

General

“Can you keep it secret from your siblings?” my mom quietly asked. As tears ran down my face, I trembled and said yes. Then I heard my sister, Emi, come up the stairs. I ran into the bathroom and acted as I was showering while my mom pretended to be on a call with her boss, Mr Davisa Audette. Emi opened the door and showed my mom a bruise on her arm, while my little brother, Jace ran up the stairs and kept saying “it wasn’t my fault”.

But that meant nothing to me. All that was going on in my head was the words my mom said to me just moments before, well, she isn’t my mom.  She said to me that my real mom had died while giving birth to my youngest sister, Emi. And that she was my biological mom. I stared at the photo of my siblings and I on the wall. I was the oldest, at 9, Briella and Jace and both 8. Emi is 6 We were the perfect family… 

Everything was ruined for me. I had no mom.

When Emi and Jace left, my mom called me out of the bathroom. I slowly walked out of the bathroom and hid my tears. She told me to sit down and she will be back in a jiffy. I sat down and ran these words through my head “ She is not my mom, she is not my mom. She is Amelia Stocking, my BIOLOGICAL MOM.”. I kept repeating that when Amelia stepped in the room. She seemed embarrassed, but sat down beside me anyways.”Here you go…” She handed me a rusty brown diary. “This was your mom's diary, her name was Charlotte Fritz.” I saw her photo. She had the bounciest blonde hair and the brightest blue eyes. She reminded me of the daring explorer I saw in her. I smiled and walked away. 

I walked out of the room. Our giant mansion was the best home ever. My favorite place was the secret room, aka, MY ROOM. Right on the left hand side of the kitchen was the library. Just push the largest bookshelf to the left and there was my room. Inside was my beautiful room!!! I had a cute bean bag chair in the front and my puppy, Honey’s bed. I had something like a bunk bed, but I slept on the top, and the bottom was my desk and a cool hangout area filled with giant pillows. I had my little book shelf and my giant closet. Well I had too much stuff in my room to explain it all, but you get the idea? 

I sat in the hangout area and opened up my phone. I scrolled through Tik Tok, with tears streaming down my face. Then I heard a knock on the door, and then Briella came into my room. I quickly wiped away my tears and pretended to sleep. Briella came into the room and left a tray of food on my desk. Just as Briella left the room, I texted Amelia this emoji to describe my feelings- 😌. She knows when I am angry or sad I won’t eat dinner on the table. 

After I ate my sponge cake and ham sliders, I went outside on my skateboard for at least an hour. After that, I went straight to sleep. I kept wanting to read the diary at 3 am, so I blindly grabbed my flashlight, and read the first page-

Day 54- Life is getting tougher every day. I realised my oxygen tank had a giant hole in it, so most of the oxygen leaked out. I guess it was from the small avalanche yesterday. Nobody ever said climbing Everest was going to be easy. I am in a small shed behind a rock and very cold. I miss my Emi, Briella and little Jace, but especially Chaya. She is 3 now and has the wildest imagination. She is very daring, but a bit CRAZY! A few months ago she jumped off the table and ended up twisting her foot. She has gotten stitches on it. 

I looked at my foot and saw the stitches I had. I always knew I had them, but I had no idea where they came from. I continued to read. 

Day 57- The ground seems as it is vibrating, so I am going to take shelter. As the shaking worsens I see a giant avalanche. I ran and I ran and I hid behind a rock and made a small shelter. I stayed the night there. I dont have lots of time to write, I am fighting the battle of my life. 

It was too late to continue to read, so I fell asleep. I was exhausted and excited to read the next morning. My mom was an explorer, the greatest one!!!!

The next morning I leaped out of bed at 8. Sped through the library, and tripped on my dog, but got up. I jumped over Emi while she was playing with dolls and ran to the kitchen. Amelia was already cooking my favourite breakfast burrito, so I impatiently sat on the sofa. When the burrito was done, I grabbed it and ran into my room. It was burning hot, but I didn’t care. I scooped up my fluffy little Pomeranian, and sat on my bed. I began to read…

Day 55- My heart began to leap. I see the top of Everest, I feel proud that I made it so far, but scared. I see the top of the mountain, I am so close!!! I am running out of food, I can’t eat anything but clean snow off the ground.  I received an alert on my special tracker. It says to immediately take shelter and signal channel 4 on your walkie talkie. I ran into an emergency shed I saw a few minutes down the mountain. I signaled channel 4 and I connected to one of my best agents, Gabrielle Sartorius. She said “You need to take shelter. A very large avalanche has been sensed a kilometer away from you. Hide and stay put. We are sending helicopters over the area for your safety. I shivered in fear. I hear helicopters above me. I am in the helicopters. Winds are picking up and I sense danger. 

Can’t move too much, on the ground. Blood everywhere, I hear paramedics, helicopter crashed. I feel like I am gonna die. Send help. Last hope, YOU. 

I shivered, my mom was an amazing explorer. I was shocked, I was about to close the diary, when I saw there was writing on the next page. 

It feels painful to move but I am writing this anyways. To the person reading this, I know I am going to die, so I want to tell you. You can do it, if you try. I can climb Mount Everest only if I try harder. I gave up on myself immediately, but had to continue because my team spent millions of dollars on this. To the future owner of this diary- complete this diary with all your adventures and do it proudly. My last hopes are that my kids will live the greatest life possible. Chaya, Briella Jace or Emi, whoever is reading this, just complete your dreams, mommy loves you.

Love,

Charlotte Fritz

The book was blank after that, so I decided to write in it and complete my mom’s wishes. 

  • 16 years later    - 

Dear Diary,

I did it, I finally completed my dream, just like mom said. I am going to med school and I will become the doctor I dreamt to be. I will be leaving next week, so Amelia planned an amazing party for tomorrow. Amelia is more of my best friend than my fake mom. I miss you mom.. Secrets don’t always end up bad, I told myself one last time. Bye now I need to go get packing.

Love,

Chaya Fritz

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21 comments

YOU WRITE SO WELL FOR AN 11-YEAR-OLD!!! WOW! You're going to be an excellent writer when you grow up. I didn't really find any grammar mistakes or past/present tense confusion. I could feel how shocked and empty the MC felt in the beginning when she found out she wasn't her biological mom, and the rest of the story was amazing. Great work!

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Amany Sayed
19:31 Aug 22, 2020

LOOK WHOS TALKING Smh, I literally thought you were a twenty-something 😂

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LOL! 🤣🤣

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Amany Sayed
20:03 Aug 22, 2020

Lowkey serious tho... Glad you revealed your age... I may do it one day.... Keep writing!

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16:41 Aug 24, 2020

Thank you 🙏!

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17:55 Aug 22, 2020

I loved this take on the prompt; the storyline was perfect. It broke my heart, but the end was beautiful. The fact that Amelia ended up being Chaya's best friend is amazing. I will say that there were grammatical errors throughout the story, but nothing that can't be fixed. Other than that, perfect! Keep writing and stay healthy, Your Reedsy Friend - Brooke

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18:06 Aug 22, 2020

Thanks Brooke!!! Still working on it yeah because I am 11 hee hee hee.

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19:27 Aug 22, 2020

You're welcome! I totally understand. I am young as well, so I struggle with it, too.

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01:31 Aug 24, 2020

Wow, hehe you write like you are 20

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13:05 Aug 24, 2020

Oh, my gosh! Thank you so much! That means so much to me.

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16:32 Aug 24, 2020

How old are you?

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Keerththan 😀
05:54 Aug 31, 2020

I love your ending with a diary entry. Well written. Wonderful story. Would you mind reading my new story "The adventurous tragedy?"

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16:47 Aug 31, 2020

Sure

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Maya W.
12:32 Aug 24, 2020

Nice story! I really love the concept!

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16:33 Aug 24, 2020

Thank u Maya

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Maya W.
19:40 Aug 24, 2020

No problem!

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02:17 Aug 24, 2020

Poor Chaya but I’m glad she had a happy ending. I read you’re only 11?? Well this is quite a story. I’m really impressed. Great job. Keep it up

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16:32 Aug 24, 2020

Thank you!!! 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

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Amaaazing job! I love where you lead this prompt 😁. Keep writing!

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21:15 Aug 20, 2020

Thanks 😊 been waiting for this reply!!!

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