Submitted on 08/19/2020

Categories: General

Can you keep a secret?

I met a monster.

In my room.

Sucker, Sucker, Dream Sucker.

In my room.


She was towering over me like the mighty thunder striking to the innocent eyes of the earthlings, her enormous heap parked firmly on my desk. Her glossy fangs flashed dangerously in the darkness, and her dirty purple furs pointed to the ceiling, like thousands of angry iron needles. Her brilliant yellow eyes rolled and rolled, sparkling and shining.

And she was in my room.


My breath stopped. Rivers of blood were blocked by the giant dam called shock.

A monster in my room?

Am I dreaming?

In the midnight?

Cold sweats began to run down my cold cheeks. Yeah, I know. You guys usually think that you won't lose your cool even when you meet a monster in your room. You think you'd be as cool and brave as Harry Potter or Iron Man, and succeed to fool her and even kill her, or bring over the cross and garlic (Oops, sorry, that's only for vampires), or whatever. But in reality, all of your senses freeze over when you are in a panic. Don't know what I thought that time. I remembered that I turned the light on right away.

As the light flickered above us, she turned her shaggy head to me, and her yellow eyes flashed with delight. She rubbed the giant claws together, and scratch scratch echoed across the room. She smiled to me, and............

She started eating my cheetos. The one I saved to eat at that very night.

Crunch, crunch, munch, munch. Her black tongue licked around her mouth, searching busily for the cheese powder.

I opened my mouth nervously as the crunching sound went on. I finally managed to say:

"Hey, that's my cheetos!'

She glanced at me indifferently, and shrugged. The two shoulders looked like two boulders of the mountain rising and dropping down.

"Yeah, cheese flavor. Your favorite, isn't it?"

I was even more awe-struck. Okay, a monster was in my house and she knew what my favorite snack was. Wow, how easy it was to keep calm! I wanted to run back out of the room, but I pulled myself together and asked the first thing that came into my mind.

"How did you know that?"

She started laughing. It sounded like squealing of the insane boar. The cackling sound jingled unpleasantly in my ears.

"Oh, my girl. You ate it every week at Friday!"

My eyes widened. "You watched over me?"

"Hmm," she said, tapping the claws thoughtfully on her round chin, "that's not exactly the case."

"But how did you know that.....hey, don't eat it all up!" I frowned, looking her lifting up the whole bag of cheetos to finish off the crumbs.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, yawning. And she threw the bag to my face. The orange crumbs all rained on my cheeks.

"Hey, monster! Look what you have done! I look......" I shouted, trying to push her aside to look at the mirror. I have always hanged it before the desk which she was sitting. "Wait, monster, where's my mirror?"

She roared with laughter again. "Oh, the mirror, dear? It was your favorite, wasn't it? You watched it and kissed it every morning. But didn't it look too horrible to suit you? I gobbled it up."

I gaped at her. "You gobbled it up, monster?"

"Yes," she answered casually, "and I'm not a monster. I'm Dream Sucker."

"Okay, Sucker," I said, " and I didn't actually kiss it, I......"

"Don't call me without my first name," she hissed. Oh, her hissing was far more annoying than her laughter. I started to forget all of my fears and panics, and anger began to steam inside me.

"Alright, dream SUCKER," I snarled, ignoring her hissing. Didn't she quite deserve the word? I did not like her. Firstly, she raided into my room and gobbled my cheetos up. Secondly,She knew all my privet things and she destroyed my mirror, the most valuable (in my opinion) I had in my room. AND her eyes were in awful shade of yellow, which is the color of my eyes too.

"I also feel sorry about the mirror, sweetie," she was smiling sweetly at me, but there was murder in the flashing yellow eyes. "You did kiss it every morning. It was only relief you have in the house of abusive father and swearing mother, wasn't it?"

"You don't have any right to talk about my parents-" I hissed, my anger rousing up and up every minute.

"Why, I have, dear! I know so much about you!" She claimed, smirking. "I suppose what I said is all true? Why, poor thing, your cheeks have gone red!" She sneered, tapping at my hot cheeks. I gasped with disgust as the unpleasant feeling of furs swept across my face. Ugh!

"Hmm....let me say more about your loving parents. Your mother wanted you to be a doctor, am I right? What a fussy mother she was! Do this do that, I'll do this if you don't get a hundred on your test, do that when you aren't the top of the class....shouting and bellowing hysterically, oh, poor girl!" She whined, bursting into false tears.

My body shook and trembled. "You....dare..."

"What I wouldn't dare, dear, dear girl? And, oh, what a good, good daughter, as you have promised, you have earned top marks on your finals, isn't it? Ah, I'm so proud of you!" She sighed, smiling brightly ( and disgustingly ).

I stared at the paper I was holding on my fist, and snorted at it. Another 100%. I was a famous know-it-all in the class. An arrogant nerdy.

She tilted her enormous body straight to me. Her face drew nearer and nearer to mine. I could see the cheese powders stuck around her mouths, and her amber eyes shot a razor that bore through my yellow eyes. Smelly, unpleasant breath blew to by brows as I tightened my grip on the paper.

"But it won't be as good as you expected. No, poor girl, no." She drew back a little. She placed her heavy paw on my bony shoulders and snatched the paper out of my fist. A sharp yell echoed across the room as the claws scratched sharply on my palm.

"This," she continued as she didn't hear anything, "is your value. A paper with red hundred on it. This is why you're born and why you suffered the nights with heaps of books. Your mother looks at you as a neat, red, 100%, right? She would love to have it tattooed on your face, am I right?" Saying this, she placed the paper on her black tongue and began to chew it. She spat the tiny fragments of papers to my bed.

"As a result," she said, beaming brightly. I could see few fragments of paper between her teeth. "You're here. Helpless, friendless, and miserable....and that's what life is! Well, suck it, darling."

Is she telling me to suck it?

"Why," she tilted her head to one side. "You can't suck it? Still unhappy? You selfish girl! You still can't accept that you're born to- aha. I see the problem."

Then, she rubbed her paws together, and flashed her eyes, and walked to me as if she was waiting for this very moment. She stretched out her threatening claws and began to dig through my heart.

"OW!" I shouted as sharp pain stabbed me from my heart. "Stop it! Please!" The monster was too strong for me. I began to squeeze my body and shake my arms.

"I'm trying to help you!" She shouted impatiently. "Aha! Here!" She took out something glowing and sparkling from my heart. She licked the black tongue around her mouth, watching it illuminating with red, green, and blue. She opened her mouth to swallow it at once.

"Wait!" I managed to shout, panting and gasping with pain. Blood was streaming out from my heart. "Are.....you.......going......to...."

"What, eat it? Oh, dear." She smirked. "This is the reason you are unhappy! Why you can't be content with what you have! The reason why you hate me so much! I'll suck it up, and we can be best friends forever! We will live together forever!"

Suddenly, a thought hit my mind. "Wait....is...that...."

Her eyes gleamed with triumph. "I'm dream sucker, remember?"

She opened her mouth again and licked the brilliant strings of light that was flowing out from the thing. The black tongue danced gaily around it.

"NO!" I rushed out, holding my bleeding heart, and pushed her with all of my strength. The Dream Sucker roared and bellowed, scratching and beating me with her giant claws. I had nothing on in my hand, so I hit her with my bare fist.

"You aren't anything! You're just a monster in my room! You can't steal away my dream!" I yelled, and the light bulged and swelled and pricked the eyes of the monster. As she was roaring with pain, I snatched my dream quickly out of her hand and stabbed her with it. Horrible squeak and whining echoed across the room.

"Stop!" I turned my head as the voice sounded before me. It was my own voice.

In the place of the monster, there was another me before me, her amber eyes sparkling with tears, and her body injured and scratched.

I gaped at her. "Me?"

She nodded, with tears flowing out from her eyes. "I am you, and you are me. We are one. We were one from the beginning. You can't hurt me, darling.....you can't live without me."

She started sobbing, and some sympathy rose inside me. She looked exactly like me. She was me. I nodded silently to her, and she gripped my hands, thanking me for my grace.

Then I saw the claws between the fingers, determined to cut through my fingers.

"LIAR!" I shouted, snatching my hands out, and shooting the sharp lights of my dream to her shiny yellow eyes. She yelled and screamed hysterically, and grabbed my throat with her hands and began to tighten the grip. I let out a loud shriek as I sank deeply into darkness and oblivion.


Then I saw the yellow eyes hovering around me.

Was it the monster again?

It was my mother, with her tear-stained lashes above her yellow eyes. She saw that I woke up, and whispered to me with concerned face.

"Are you all right, girl?"

I looked down at my heart. No blood and no cuts. It was just normal. Before my desk lay uneaten cheetos and a mirror.

"It's all right," I answered casually. " Just met a Sucker."

"What?" She exclaimed, with her eyes widening. She knew I never used slang. I grinned to her and shrugged. After all I knew that I will never use that word again, because the Sucker died inside me and the only thing left in my heart was Dream.

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Jessica Primrose
04:07 Sep 17, 2020

I loved this story :) I thought it was very creative.


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D. Jaymz
21:11 Sep 13, 2020

This story brought a smile to my lips. Great work 👏 A little polish on grammar and punctuation needed, but the story flows words into cascading sentences that put fear into the heart of a reader, with a monstrous monster that is in all of us to suck up our dreams, if we let them 😮 A solid plot and descriptively delicious. Very creative. Keep writing 😊


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Chrissy Lemon
10:39 Sep 02, 2020

Great story


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Charles Stucker
18:13 Aug 31, 2020

"Cold sweats began to run down my cold cheeks." get rid of cold before cheeks. "You guys usually think that you won't lose your cool even when you meet a monster in your room. You think you'd be as cool and brave" use cool only once, replace the second cool with "you'd be as calm and brave" Aside from those minor edits this is very good. The single scene and aftermath works well, and your end is perfect. IF you could still edit, I would suggest the title "My Dreams Suck...er"


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Jonathan Blaauw
08:23 Aug 27, 2020

This is an interesting story. You set it up perfectly for a short – you get right to the point, tell it almost in a single scene, and use lots of descriptive language to great effect. Some little grammar errors, but nothing major that ‘breaks’ the story. I think, form a reader's perspective, perhaps the last bit is unnecessary. Separating it from the meat of the story like that makes it feel a bit added-on. It’s a very important part, of course, especially ending by saying ‘the only thing left in my heart was Dream,’ that works so well. But...


Jn Park
09:40 Aug 27, 2020

Oh, thank you very much! Yes, I also thought that the ending bit is awkward, and considered deleting it out. But as you said, the last sentence is very important, so I must think about way to convey the same meaning without the unnecessary part. Thank you again, for your thoughtful advice! :)


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Jn Park
12:13 Aug 20, 2020

Not very satisfied :(


Rayhan Hidayat
05:06 Aug 23, 2020

I still think this is a very powerful and vivid analogy for having someone else decide your future for you! And the symbolism of the monster sitting at her study desk is brilliant. Just needs a spelling and grammar check but this story was very hard-hitting. Keep at it! 😁


Jn Park
12:23 Aug 24, 2020

Thank you very much, you made my day! And I should look up for the grammar. The thought about the desk just came to me randomly, but I never thought it would be an analogy! Your interpretation really makes sense though. Thank you for reading the story so thoughtfully, Rayhan! :D


Rayhan Hidayat
12:43 Aug 24, 2020

Yeah haha maybe I was reading into it too much but more power to you! I’m glad I could make your day! 😊


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