222 comments

Aug 17, 2020

Funny Adventure Kids

“Can you keep a secret?” Miley whispered in my ear. 

I had never been a good secret keeper. Well, at least that’s what everyone told me. In first grade, my friend told me she might be moving and not to tell anyone. The next day everyone at school knew. I don’t know how it happened. I could have sworn I didn’t tell anyone.

“Yeah, sure. You know what yes. I mean not… um… I love secrets. Secrets are, well fun?” I blurted out

“Okay then. Well, this is a big secret. I haven’t told anyone yet. You're a pretty quiet kid, so I thought why not?”

“Pft, yeah! That’s me! Georgie the quiet kid!”

“Here it goes! Melony’s dad got this huge promotion at work, and now they're like billionaires or something. She told me they are buying some big house in California. So apparently Friday’s her last day of school.”

“Oh, wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow! That’s one big juicy secret. I bet she wouldn’t want anyone knowing about that! I mean not that I would tell anyone. I’m not that kind of--”

“Georgie! Chill! I know you're not gonna tell anyone! That's why I told you. Now I gotta get to soccer practice. Catch ya later!”

She left almost as soon as she arrived. I had invited Miley over to my house because we were starting to become friends. And of course, she hits me with my weakness, a secret! I promised myself I wouldn’t tell anyone. After all, I only had to keep the secret until Friday. Tomorrow was Thursday. I could handle it.

***

I woke up to my alarm clock. Its beep had annoyed me for the last time. I picked it up off my dresser and slammed it to the ground. It broke in half, and my mom came in. “Just um... Don’t do it again,” My mom said while staring at her phone. There goes another great pep talk from my mom.

Ever since my dad left she had been like this. Now she called herself, a social media influencer. I don’t even know what that is. Lucky for me, I don’t have to.

I had almost forgotten about the whole secret thing until Karen from Junior High came up to me. “Hey! You! I hear you're the one that’s got all the secrets! Let me in on one. I won’t tell.”

This was probably one of the worst things that had ever happened to me. If I told Karen I might be in with the ‘cool kids’. If I didn’t tell her, well, then nothing bad can happen. See what I mean? Hard.

Karen was looking me straight in the eye. My guess was she wasn’t leaving until I told her. 

“What’s it gonna be squirt?” She spat on me when she said this. I had been called many things in my life but never squirt. I was very offended.

“I don’t have to tell you anything!” I started it out strong, but as soon as I said this I knew something bad was coming.

“What did you say?” Karen was built big. She had giant shoulders, and I’d guess she was about six feet tall. 

I was terrified. The only logical thing I could do was run. I ran as fast as I could. I looked back to see Karen chasing me. She was gaining fast. 

I saw my life flash before my eyes, and then I knew what I had to do. I kept running until I reached some bikes. I quickly got on one and peddled away. Luckily the school was on a downward hill. I eased on down and lost Karen.

I did two terrible things in one day. First: I stole a bike. That’s not so bad. The stupid person just left there bike sitting right there. That’s their fault. Second: I ditched an entire day of school.

Now that was bad. Luckily I had a mom who didn’t care. I snuck in the house, or at least I tried.

I started singing some spy music quietly. I did a couple of forward rolls and I was in the clear. Although I did break a couple of glass bowls in the act. 

My mom still hadn’t noticed me. And I doubt she would ever notice the broken bowls. I went up to my room and sat on my bed. 

I was very bored. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and started doing what I normally did on my phone. I looked through unnecessary videos. I kept scrolling through and through until I found the most disturbing video.   

It was me running away from Karen. It was me hopping on the bike I stole. It was me easing down the hill. It was me ditching school. 

My life was over. This video was proof that I stole a bike. It was proof that I ditched school. And worst of all, my mom had liked the video.

It already had seventeen thousand views. Everyone in my school probably saw it. I was never going back to school again.

I watched the video over and over again. Then I started reading the comments. Not all of them were people laughing at me. At least ten of them said: This girl can run.

Maybe there was a positive side out of this horrible day. The coach of the top running high school had also commented on this video.

She said: Wow! If this girl doesn’t end up in the slammer, I would love to have her run for me. 

I was honored, but still depressed. I laid back onto my bed and started crying. It was a mix of happy and sad tears. 

I almost fell asleep when my phone started ringing. It was Miley. I answered it but I didn’t know why. She saw my tears and started crying too.

“Thanks for keeping my secret Georgie. I know it was hard, I mean I watched the video.” We both broke out in laughter and then tears and then back to laughter.

Secrets can hurt, but they can bring out the best in you. Even if it means you have to steal a bike once in a while.

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222 comments

20:32 Aug 22, 2020

👏👏👏

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Evelyn ⭐️
13:08 Aug 23, 2020

Ha, thanks!

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Rayhan Hidayat
22:17 Aug 17, 2020

This was super funny, well done! :D The alarm clock-smashing, the spy music, the coach's comment, so many things made me grin. And such a vibrant POV character! Love the bittersweet ending, too. Only issue is the few grammar errors throughout. Also sorry if I'm being nosy, but what happened to your other stories? :(

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Evelyn ⭐️
23:41 Aug 17, 2020

Thanks for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed. I love questions, no problem there! I deleted them all because I wanted to start over. I wanted to add more detail and humor to my upcoming stories. Sorry if that doesn't make sense though.

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Rayhan Hidayat
03:33 Aug 18, 2020

No don’t worry it makes perfect sense! 🙂 Sometimes you just gotta turn over a new leaf when the stuff you’ve been doing doesn’f reflect who you are anymore.

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Evelyn ⭐️
14:11 Aug 18, 2020

Yes!! You get it!

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Nunya Business
01:10 Aug 28, 2020

I just posted a story And yes they loved the story

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Evelyn ⭐️
14:07 Aug 28, 2020

Yay! I'll go read it!

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Nunya Business
20:17 Aug 27, 2020

Great job I read this story to all of my siblings and I have 6 of them!!!!!!!!

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:34 Aug 27, 2020

Yay! Thank you! Did they like it?

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This is written very well. I love the way the last two lines were written. It was like giving the reader a point to the whole story, or a bottom line if you know what I mean(no pun intended). You did a very great job Evelyn! Keep it up!

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Evelyn ⭐️
14:31 Aug 26, 2020

Ha, thanks for reading! I really appreciate the nice comment!

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Leya Newi
22:50 Aug 23, 2020

You have 99 likes and 99 comments as I'm reading this. I'm here to tell you this was such a great story, and so that you have a lovely 100 comments and 100 likes. Great job, Evelyn!

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Evelyn ⭐️
17:08 Aug 24, 2020

Thank you so much for giving me the big 100!! I really appreciate it!

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Leya Newi
22:01 Aug 24, 2020

Of course!

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Lauren K
03:58 Aug 23, 2020

I love your story! It has a great beginning!

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Evelyn ⭐️
13:09 Aug 23, 2020

Thank you so much! I also saw in your bio that you are 11. I am a young writer too!!!

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This was super funny! When I was younger, I had a hard time keeping secrets too, so Georgie and I would've been the best of friends. I really enjoyed reading this. Also, most likely wasn't intentional but I felt famous when you used my name! I defiently wasn't expecting to see it there since people rarely spell their name like mine. Side note: If you can,please check out my new stories I'd appercite it a bunch. :)

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Evelyn ⭐️
13:02 Aug 23, 2020

Thanks for reading! I absolutely love your name! It's my favorite girl name, I think! I can't wait to check out your stories!

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Thank you 😊

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Joel Malvo
06:08 Aug 18, 2020

this is such a funny story i love it the fact that the mom is the social media influencer and not the child unlike how it usually is made me laugh so much keep writing i hope to read more of your work PS-I hope you don't mind checking out my stories

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Evelyn ⭐️
14:15 Aug 18, 2020

Thank you for reading! I'm happy it made you laugh!🤣 I can't wait to read some of your stories!

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S. M
04:28 Aug 18, 2020

Really enjoyed it!

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Evelyn ⭐️
14:13 Aug 18, 2020

Thank you!!!!😄

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03:47 Aug 18, 2020

Wow that was a very sweet story. It was really nice. I liked how she didn't tell the secret. It was also a bitter sweet moment, to me it felt really calming even though everything went down hill. Good job! When you have time could you check out my stories and tell me what you think, thanks. Once again amazing story!

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Evelyn ⭐️
14:12 Aug 18, 2020

Thanks for reading! I can't wait to read some of your stories!

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03:21 Aug 18, 2020

Once upon a time, when the sun was still shy, I had a story book with bright pictures and creative words that that stuck to my developing brain. Such is how nostalgic your story is. I feel though that more details would have added to the tension... especially about the bully and the stolen bike. I imagine it was red? And the bully had auburn hair? Hah! Anyway, check out some ancient piece (if you haven't) that I whipped up some eons back. More stories!!

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Evelyn ⭐️
14:10 Aug 18, 2020

Thanks for reading! I can't wait to check out your stories!

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Becky Holland
03:21 Aug 18, 2020

A fresh story. I like it. Love the last light "Secrets can hurt, but the ycan bring out the best in you. " You spiced it up with the drama. I guess, there really wasn't much, just some punctuation I might have done differently, and maybe some sentences that could be combined into one? But it was good. I would appreciate if you might comment on some of my stuff. I just would love some tips!

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Evelyn ⭐️
14:10 Aug 18, 2020

Thanks for reading!

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Clara d Berry
20:39 Aug 17, 2020

Wow, very dramatic. I never thought keeping a secret could be so dangerous. What happened to your other stories?

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Evelyn ⭐️
23:33 Aug 17, 2020

Thank you! I deleted them all because I wanted a fresh start! Thanks for asking!

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Kristin Neubauer
19:47 Aug 17, 2020

I loved this Evelyn! The narrator is hilarious - I think she's someone I'd like to know, esp considering she smashed her alarm clock. You developed this story really nicely with some unexpected twists and turns along the way - very easy and enjoyable to read. Looking forward to seeing more of your work! Btw, your dog Kiwi (in the photo?) is super-cute.

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Evelyn ⭐️
19:49 Aug 17, 2020

Aw your so kind! Thank you! That is my dog, and thank you! Also my narrator is sort of me. I mean I have broken at least two alarm clocks!🤣

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Kristin Neubauer
19:57 Aug 17, 2020

Love it! I'll be looking for more of your writing!

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B. W.
18:44 Sep 20, 2020

Well, i could maybe do something like that then? only when theres a good enough prompt though, these ones aren't really good for it

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Evelyn ⭐️
19:48 Sep 20, 2020

yeah you should! but I agree these prompts aren't the best!

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B. W.
19:49 Sep 20, 2020

could you maybe help me think of a stand alone story for these ones? i've only made one story and i usually make about 3 each time but nothing's been coming to me with these ones

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Evelyn ⭐️
20:02 Sep 20, 2020

You could write something about COVID? I mean this is a pretty big disaster!

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B. W.
20:03 Sep 20, 2020

ehhh no, any other ideas? ya know what the prompts are but i'm not going for anything real thats happening tbh, just something to make up

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Evelyn ⭐️
20:05 Sep 20, 2020

You could make up your own sorta pandemic kinda thing?

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B. W.
15:04 Sep 19, 2020

I'm not sure if i've checked out your first story or not so here i am and i'm also on here to see how far that you've come from this first one to the most recent story that you've done. I know you only have seven stories on here but i can still do it, so here i go. I really enjoyed this story and ya did great with it, i don't think anything was wrong with it though, i never really notice the things but i do hope that you had edited this story and the other ones if the other people told you some of the small errors or something that you had i...

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Evelyn ⭐️
18:32 Sep 19, 2020

Yay! 10/10! Thanks so much for reading, I love reading your comments!

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B. W.
18:34 Sep 19, 2020

No problem ^^ oh gosh could you maybe help with something? i think i just got some writers block with my novel and i dunno what to do, how do i get rid of the writers block? i hate when this happens

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Evelyn ⭐️
18:35 Sep 19, 2020

Just tell me what you recently wrote and I can try to help you come up with what happens next.

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B. W.
18:37 Sep 19, 2020

Okay basic thing: Willow just saved Harlow from Arlow/Alter Harlow and now i'm working on chapter 5 which is where i have my writers block problem and she may have blacked out before chapter 4 ended

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B. W.
18:44 Sep 19, 2020

so think you could help with this?

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Evelyn ⭐️
18:45 Sep 19, 2020

What I would do is put in some more action or like something sad. You want the readers to be interested. So maybe they can look around for something and find some mysterious cave? And then they go searching

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B. W.
18:47 Sep 19, 2020

Okay so that's kind of action, so any ideas on something for the sad part?

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Evelyn ⭐️
18:48 Sep 19, 2020

Maybe someone can get hurt but not killed.

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Krishi Norris
16:11 Aug 31, 2020

Nice story! Do you mind checking out a few of mine? Thanks!

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Evelyn ⭐️
16:45 Aug 31, 2020

sure!

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Zqueen 1214
17:32 Aug 29, 2020

Wow !! This story is epic I need to steal a bike for myself

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Evelyn ⭐️
17:33 Aug 29, 2020

Ha, thanks for reading!

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Ola Hotchpotch
06:39 Aug 29, 2020

I don't keep secrets. I tell the secret to the water. In this way nobody get blisters under their feet . Once at a party I saw boys and girls throwing food and paper cups . It was their fun . They said they did that at home and their mothers never noticed. They were rich kids. I feed street dogs and even though I make a lot of food it is never enough. It may not matter to them(the rich kids) but if they knew starvation and deprivation they would understand what it feels like to be hungry . One day I brought a beggar girl home. She pushed my...

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