145 comments

Aug 08, 2020

Fantasy Romance

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ Ernis♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

“So, you’re a bit rusty, huh?” Clink.

“Pfffft, look who’s talking.”Grunt. Clink. I knock the sword out of my opponent’s hand and he falls to the floor. I hold my sword level with his nose.

“Well?”I say, hiding the smirk from my face.

“Alright, alright, you win, I’m rusty…” he says. I laugh and pull up my helmet, helping him up. Our captain comes over, arms crossed. I immediately stop laughing and stand up a little straighter. 

“Ernis. Dederick.” he nods at each of us. We nod back. “How’s practice?” Practice? Since when has he really cared about us enough to ask about practice?

“Fine, sir,” Dederick speaks up. 

“Good, good. Ernis, may I speak to you for a moment?” I feel my face grow pale, but I stay expressionless. I nod and follow the captain. We stop somewhere near the middle of the field. "Ernis. There’s someone here to see you.” the captain says, his voice a little shaky. I gulp. 

“Oh-um-(clears throat)yes sir, where?”

“Right there.” he motions to a pretty girl in a long floral skirt. She has a flower crown atop her dark brown hair and her eyes are silvery grey.

“Should I-”

“Go.”He says and leaves me to see to TK(trainee knights) who are fooling around. I run my hand through my hair and walk over to the girl. Gosh, she’s even prettier up close. I can see she has freckles, and she looks to be about my age. 

“Hello. You must be the amazing Ernis! A pleasure.” she says. Being the gentleman I am, I take her hand and softly kiss the top of it. 

“The pleasure is mine. Now, Captain said you wished to speak to me?”

“Oh, yes. I’m a seer. A fortune teller, that is. I saw a very concerning prophecy the other day and-”

“Pardon-I’m sorry to cut you off, but what does a concerning prophecy have to do with me?” she narrows her eyes at me.

“If you’d let me finish maybe you’d understand. I thought knights were supposed to have the best of manners.” her comment takes me aback, but I keep my face expressionless. A knight has to train, I don’t have time for a silly seer and her prophecies. Anyway, I was going to say before I was so rudely interrupted, that there’s a vampire that needs to be taken care of in one of the king’s private cottages.”

“A vampire?! Again, may I ask what this has to do with me?”

“A seer never reveals her practice.”

“Look, I’m flattered, truly, but I have training to do. Find some other knight to take care of the vampire. Goodbye.”I say, turning to walk away, but she grabs my arm. 

“You don’t understand! The fate of the world-”

“The fate of the world?! You’re so dramatic! It’s just a vampire! They’re practically harmless these days!” she shakes her head at me.

“People are dying! You see, my prophecies, are different, and we don’t have much time left. And I thought you would be a little considerate?! I guess I was wrong.” She starts walking away. I roll my eyes and sigh.

“When do I have to leave?” she turns around and smiles.

“A carriage will pick you up tomorrow. Be prepared to stay a couple of nights. Hey, take this as a vacay! When you aren’t busy slaying vampires, you’ll be in a king’s cottage! It’s probably as big as the palace, maybe bigger!”

“Why do you exaggerate so much!”

“Ha! I get that a lot. Maybe you just need to learn to smile…” ugh, thank you very much I know how to smile. I just don’t need to go around trusting random people. Whatever, I guess I have to begin packing. 


༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ Kat♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

“Ow! What the heck Kat?!”I huff, blowing a strand of my red hair out of my face.

“What is wrong with you Jade?!”I yell right back at her. Jade sighs and rubs her arm where I grabbed her. Her scary-bright green eyes bore right into mine. 

“Says the person who just grabbed me out of nowhere and sunk her claws into me.”I scoff.

“It’s kind of one of the perks of being a half-wolf. And you know perfectly well why I grabbed you. They already caught onto us! Haven’t you been drinking the blood juice I gave you? A bottle of those will last you every day.”

“I sort of….threw mine away…” she mumbles. I roll my eyes.

“Do you want cravings? Look, I understand that human blood is better, but do you want us to get caught? Three people are already dead. Three. And don’t even try to tell me it was someone else, I saw the bodies. Our location isn’t very private. The king could send someone at any moment to take a look at why all the dead bodies end up here.” her ears twitch. See, being a half-wolf vampire, we each have claws sharp enough to kill someone, fangs, two fluffy ears growing out of our heads, and sometimes depending on our emotions, we can grow tails. We can also transform completely into a wolf, or a bat if we choose. For some reason, we can’t fully transform into humans. All vampires are different. 

“I’m sorry Kat….”

“Yeah, for sure, come on, I saw a sheep in the forest that we might be able to catch.”

“Really?! Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m starving, and it’s better than you hunting humans. Let’s bounce.” I quickly envision a wolf in my head and soon it feels like I’m much shorter. Jade transforms in front of me as well. Ugh, it’s a pain to have fur in this summer heat. Oh well. As we run into the forest at top speed, I hear horses and a carriage stop at the cottage. 

Have we been caught?!?!

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ Ernis♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

After talking with the captain, he sent two other knights with me. Apparently, this is a trip that has been put off for far too long.

The horse’s skid to a stop. I walk out of the carriage and stretch. My jaw drops at the sight of the cottage. It’s almost bigger than my house! I thought cottages are supposed to be small! I take my satchel of belongings and walk into the cottage, which has no lock. 

To be honest, I don’t really intend on slaying the vampire. I mean, they were granted rights 2 years ago. They don’t deserve to be treated like animals. I’m just going to pretend I can’t find him and leave. Maybe I can make the best of it while I’m here….

How can a cottage kitchen have marble flooring?!

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ Kat♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

I sink my fangs deep into the neck of the sheep. That. Is. So. Good.

Once we’re both full, I remember the horses I heard before we came into the forest...It’s probably unsafe to return to the cottage, at least undisguised. 

I quickly envision my human self again and transform. Jade does the same.

“Jade, before we came into the forest, I-”

“I know, I heard them too. You have your cloak?”I nod. Though we can manage to hide our fangs pretty well, it’s impossible to hide our ears any other way than cloaking them. The worst part is, it’s not like they’re just there, noooo, they have to actually be a part of us. Like, when we’re embarrassed, they turn slightly red, they twitch a lot,  and they sometimes turn towards someone we might have feelings for( okay, we always have feelings for the person if they turn towards them, we just don’t admit it because it’s too embarrassing). That last one’s the worst part. Our tails are impossible to hide too, but we rarely ever grow them. It’s only when we feel an excessive amount of any emotion. 

I pull my cloak hood over my ears. We walk towards the cottage. Time to see who our little visitors are…

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ Ernis ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

There’s a small knock on the door. I drop the grape in my hand and walk over cautiously to the small wooden entrance. 

I quickly straighten out my clothing and run my hand through my hair before pulling open the door. 

Standing in front of me are two cloaked young ladies. One has strikingly green eyes and raven black hair, while the other has almost yellow eyes, and I can see some small strands of crimson red hair falling from her covered head. Both have pale-white skin, and both are extremely pretty as well. I clear my throat.

“Hello...Is there a problem?”

“Hi, sir, we-” the green-eyed girl begins to speak, but the redhead elbows her.

“Hello….We, um, we live near here and have been told a vampire haunts these grounds. We were wondering if you were sent to slay it?”

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ Kat♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

I make sure my cloak securely covers my ears and knock on the small wooden door. The man who opens the door is tall, with a broad build, medium-length messy brown hair, and green eyes, though they’re nothing like Jade’s. They’re softer, almost sparkling in the sun. He clears his throat. 

“Hello...Is there a problem?” he says. His voice is sweet too. Ugh! Focus Kat!

“Hi, sir, we-” nope, can’t let Jade talk. I elbow her in the ribs mid-sentence. If I let her talk, she’ll probably ask to stay or something. That’s the last thing we need.

“Hello….We, um, we live near here and have been told a vampire haunts these grounds. We were wondering if you were sent to slay it?”

“Fear not, he shall be gone by tomorrow.”

“Um, excuse me, he?! Are you unaware that vampires can be women?” ugh, how annoying of him to assume that vampires are only men. I didn’t mean to elongate the conversation, but no one can get away with that. His face grows pale, but it’s nothing compared to the deathly white of my own skin. I furrow my brows at him. 

“Oh, um, well-”

“Save it. My friend and I are leaving, good luck with capturing the vampire.” I say, dragging Jade and turning around. 

I feel my ears start painfully turning under the cloak towards the mysterious man. Oh my god, not this...I stop and grab Jade’s arm, She mouth’s the word What? To me. I raise my eyebrows to indicate a problem with my ears. Realization dawns across her face, and she claps her hand over her mouth to stop from giggling. I roll my eyes and can feel my face heating up. 

“Um, is everything alright?” Ugh, I forgot, we’re literally one foot away from the door. My face turns even redder. Think, think, excuse…. Jade saves me, turning back to talk to the man. I turn as well.

“It’s a long walk back to where we came from, and we were wondering if we could come in for a quick drink of water? We’ll be on our way after that, promise.”

Oh! Of course, where are my manners? Come on in. You must be parched and scorched in this summer heat, especially in your cloaks.” he says ushering us inside. We can’t take off our cloaks! I hope he doesn’t expect us to...

“Wait here, I’ll get you ladies something to drink and some fruit for your journey as well.”

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ Ernis ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

Ugh, how could I be so rude?! I rummage around the kitchen and grab two jugs of water as well as a small basket filled with fruit.

When I exit the kitchen, I see the green-eyed girl laughing while the red head’s face is almost as red as her hair. Oh my god, she must be getting heatstroke or something, why is the other one laughing?!

“Oh my goodness! Are you alright?”I rush to her side, handing her one of the jugs.

“Oh-I’m fine...Thank you, sir, we should really get going,” she says taking the water and turning.

“No, no, I insist you stay, we have some fans upstairs. You can cool down a little before your journey, especially if it’s as long as you say. If you’ll just hand me your cloaks-” 

“Your, um, hospitality is very generous sire, but we really should get going.” the redhead says, turning to leave. In her rush, her cloak gets caught on the hook by the door. It’s pulled down to reveal a full head of that red hair….as well as small ears resembling that of a wolf. I’d been informed that vampires sometimes donned ears. Ahhhh, now it all makes sense. These are the vampires that I supposedly have to slay. The red-head freezes in her tracks.

“Look, I’m not going to hurt you…” I say. 

“Oh, for sure, you’re literally sent to kill us.” green-eyes says, unhooking redhead's cloak from the hook and attempting to leave.

“Just-Just make sure to hide somewhere the other men with me won’t find you. They do plan on killing you if they come upon you. I, on the other hand, don’t. Take my word for it, or don’t.”

“Thank you-”

“Ernis. Stop calling me ‘sire’.”

“Oh-um, Kat.”

“Nice to meet you. Now you better get to hiding. You too, green-eyes”

“My name is Jade, thank you very much-”

“Come on Jade, let’s go,” Kat says, pulling up her cloak and dragging Jade behind her. I close the door once they’re safely in the forest, watching them bicker and push each other all the way. 

I hope they find a good place to hide…

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ Kat♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

“Oh my god, Jade!”I harshly whisper, shoving her to the side. 

“(giggle) I can’t believe this! (giggle)Are your ears turning right now?! (giggle)” Jade says, barely pausing in between breaths. They are, slightly, but she doesn’t really have to know that.  

“Whatever, where are we going to hide?” I dodge her question. Jade finally stops laughing.

“I don’t know...Do you really think he’s not going to hurt us? Ah, well, obviously, your answer will be a little influenced-”

Shut up Jade! I swear to god, man….. Don’t think I forgot about that time we were in the city and you met that guy, oh boy, your ears sure did-”

“Uh-huh, uh-huh, alright, I’ll stop, I’ll stop…” I smirk. We finally find a small cave deep into the forest.

“Seems a good place as any to wait out the soldiers…”

“Yeah, I guess so…”I say, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and walking into it.

Ernis was the first to ever make my ears turn...


I guess I’ll never see him again


༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ Ernis ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

“Do you all have your weapons?” some bigshot captain says.

“Yes sir!” we all say in unison.

“Good! Tonight….We slay the vampire!” countless battle cries fill the forest as we ride off into the night. 

I can’t stop thinking about that girl Kat. Ah, well, I guess I have to focus. Maybe I can kill a wolf and convince them it’s the vampire. 

We split up onto different paths. I hear a faint howl in the distance and follow the sound. Hopefully, it’s just a normal wolf and I can kill it…

Unfortunately, I hear one of the soldiers shouting.

“I GOT IT! IT’S DEAD! THE BEAST IS DEAD!” it’s the captain from earlier. 

Have they got Kat or Jade?! I quickly ride towards the sound of the yelling. It’s right by the cottage. I find the captain proudly holding up a dead wolf. Its fur is sickeningly grey, and the fangs protruding from its mouth look extremely dull. This is an ordinary wolf. 

Whatever, let them believe what they want. 

Hopefully, Kat and Jade know enough to stop killing people.

“WE CAN LEAVE TOMORROW BY DAWN!”


Oh…

I guess I’ll never see Kat again...


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145 comments

Deborah Angevin
09:48 Aug 14, 2020

Oooh, I love the fantasy take on the prompt! You did an amazing job with it, and I can't wait to read more of your works! P.S: would you mind checking my recent story out, "Grey Clouds"? Thank you :D

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Amany Sayed
13:21 Aug 14, 2020

Thanks so much! Of course!

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Yolanda Wu
08:39 Aug 14, 2020

I loved the dialogue and the voice of the characters in this story. It was so fun and exciting, with me just waiting to know what's going to happen next. And I agree, writing fantasy is extremely fun, hoping to read more from you!

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Amany Sayed
13:21 Aug 14, 2020

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed to story!

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05:54 Aug 14, 2020

WOW, LOVELY. I enjoyed the story very much. But your bio is wow. It is so pleasing to see. Your hard work appears from your bio. I am mesmerized with it. If you don't mind if you give feedback on my story.

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Amany Sayed
13:20 Aug 14, 2020

Aw, thank you soooo much! I'm so glad you liked the story and my bio! :) You have no idea how happy that makes me! Of course!

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13:30 Aug 14, 2020

Thank You. But your bio is really awesome. :)

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Amany Sayed
20:43 Aug 28, 2020

Hey, I just submitted Pt. 2 of this if you wanna check it out!

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Pamela Abwao
01:29 Aug 14, 2020

I enjoyed reading the story. Could you kindly explain to me what the symbols after each paragraph mean?

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Amany Sayed
01:55 Aug 14, 2020

Thanks! they're just there to symbolize whenever a new person's perspective is the first person.

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Regina Perry
23:31 Aug 13, 2020

Your Seer makes me think of Cassandra, from Greek Mythology. She's supposed to have been always prophesying disaster, but nobody would believe her, which inevitably led to everybody's doom. I wonder if something similar would happen to your characters because her warning wasn't heeded, perhaps in a later chapter of this story if you choose to continue it. As someone who has been accused of being a vampire herself, it was interesting to me to see how you portrayed them. I like how you sort-of combined them with werewolves. One thing...

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Amany Sayed
23:49 Aug 13, 2020

Thank you soooo much for taking the time to read my story and write such detailed feedback. Yeah, you're right that would be interesting. haha, yeah, I actually have a weird sort of obsession with vampires. I even have a book on how to become one... I see... That would sound better, thank you, though I can't edit the story anymore, I'll take your advice to heart. Thank you, I will :) Ahhh, thank you, that means a lot, as it's so long I don't know if anyone would read it.I love your bio as well! Smelling books is wonderful :) ...

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Regina Perry
00:06 Aug 14, 2020

Oooh, What's the book called? Maybe I'll be able to find it and read it. Or maybe I'll just smell it and glean all the necessary information that way.

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Amany Sayed
20:43 Aug 28, 2020

Hey, I just submitted Pt. 2 of this if you wanna check it out!

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21:24 Aug 13, 2020

Nice!!!

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Amany Sayed
20:43 Aug 28, 2020

Hey, I just submitted Pt. 2 of this if you wanna check it out!

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20:11 Aug 13, 2020

Love this! It was so creative and descriptive having the Vampires ears turn red when they like someone was just great. I'm not a fan of vampires or half wolves they scare me(I seriously do not know why)😅 but this one was exceptional. I like the spice of romance in there too. I also enjoy how sarcastic and sassy the characters are makes it so fun to read. This was so amazing Amany oh amazing and your name kinda fits together. But anyways great job!!

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Amany Sayed
21:17 Aug 13, 2020

Haha, thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it. Yeah, I guess so lol. Thanks a ton!

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Amany Sayed
20:43 Aug 28, 2020

Hey, I just submitted Pt. 2 of this if you wanna check it out!

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21:42 Aug 28, 2020

AHh On my way!

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Amany Sayed
21:45 Aug 28, 2020

🙂

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Cal Carson
16:56 Aug 13, 2020

I really enjoyed this. So great to see people taking new twists on the prompts! Many would look at this prompt and just see a realistic fiction, but you took it so much farther! I loved the world building and the casual language of the characters. It makes them seem all the more real! I try taking new twists on the prompts, but I'm really new to this. Would you mind checking mine out and giving some critique? Great job again!

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Amany Sayed
18:57 Aug 13, 2020

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it. Of course, I'll go as soon as I can!

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Becky Holland
23:58 Aug 12, 2020

So, I read it. The concept is interesting. Not much into this type of writing, genre. My first thought when I did a read through, and I read through first as a newspaper editor would, and I had my "invisible red pen" out, ready to correct. There were several things - little things - punctuation mostly, a few words that didn't fit and it was not a smooth read for me. But you were so good in your other story, and nice to me, I decided to look at it again. You have a gift of storytelling, and obviously, it is a good thing, because you made the...

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Amany Sayed
01:58 Aug 13, 2020

Thank you so much! Of course, all feedback cannot be good, and my stories definitely are not perfect and could use work. I appreciate you pointing that out. Thank YOU!

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Skyler Woods
00:35 Aug 11, 2020

I loved this tale. You really captured the essence of medieval folklore. I was enraptured by the effortless storytelling. A very cute and engaging tale. 😊💗

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Amany Sayed
00:36 Aug 11, 2020

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm glad you liked it. :D

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נιмму 🤎
02:21 Aug 11, 2020

just letting yk i deleted promises are lonely because I am gonna post something better lol so sorry u don't have to read the new one if u are annoyed about this

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Willow Byrd
19:57 Aug 10, 2020

I loved this!! I'm such a sucker for fantasy stories :) Your take on this prompt was so creative, and the story was very well written. Great job, as usual! Also, P.S. I was reading your bio, and I couldn't help but laugh about your obsession with notebooks because I am the EXACT same way!! Every time I get a notebook, I think to myself; "Ok, this is the Notebook. I'll carry it with me everywhere, and I will use only this Notebook and fill it with my writing, and my thoughts, and EVERYTHING." And then I go out again and I'm like, "Oooh, th...

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Amany Sayed
20:06 Aug 10, 2020

Thank you so much! I felt the same way while reading your bio, and that's why I knew I had to follow you. It's come to the point where I just don't know where to put them. When there's a notebook section in the store, my eyes light up and it's as if I'm in a trance...I'm glad to know there's another notebook lover in the world as well.

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Willow Byrd
20:17 Aug 10, 2020

😆

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Amany Sayed
20:44 Aug 28, 2020

Hey, I just submitted Pt. 2 of this if you wanna check it out!

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Willow Byrd
20:46 Aug 28, 2020

Great! I'll definitely read it!!

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Amany Sayed
20:48 Aug 28, 2020

Thank you, fellow notebook lover :D

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Willow Byrd
21:37 Aug 28, 2020

😁

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Kristin Neubauer
12:19 Aug 10, 2020

This is hilarious! I love the modern-day dialogue juxtaposed with the old-timey knights and vampire themes. And what an original take on the cottage prompt - I never would have come up with that. I really enjoyed this story - so well-written!

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Amany Sayed
13:39 Aug 10, 2020

Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it.

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Stephanie Anne
20:28 Aug 09, 2020

Interesting use of the prompt. There were a handful of issues in terms of grammar and formatting - for example, missing a space after a line of dialogue seems to come up a few times (“Ow! What the heck Kat?!”I huff). Nothing that another round of editing can't clear up. I like how you've portrayed the relationships and interactions between the characters :)

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Amany Sayed
20:35 Aug 09, 2020

Thank you so much! I'll go back and fix those right away. Glad you enjoyed :)

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15:54 Aug 09, 2020

Hey you asked me to read one of your stories and I'm glad you did. It was very engaging and very enjoyable. I really liked it. Keep it up.

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Amany Sayed
15:57 Aug 09, 2020

Thank you so much!

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Jesna Anna S.
13:54 Aug 09, 2020

Wow! Good Fantasy Story! I hope you can spare some time to read my stories and offer your comments !

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Amany Sayed
13:55 Aug 09, 2020

Thank you! Of course!

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Avery G.
15:40 Aug 08, 2020

Wow! Amazing story! I love the way how you switched people! Each of the characters where different, which made the story even better to read! Great job!

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Amany Sayed
15:42 Aug 08, 2020

Thank you so much, Avery!

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Avery G.
15:58 Aug 08, 2020

You're welcome!

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Jen Park
07:54 Aug 08, 2020

Wow! Cute story! I love the way how you switched perspectives. I liked each of the characters' uniqueness. I wish Ernis would meet Kat afterwards with more deepened relationsho, after Kat and Jade are changed and matured in character by interacting with more human friends. I am very curious what would Ernis say when he sees Kat's fangs. (And, a better look on her ears.) I liked your vivid imaginations jumping around on your fantastic world, and your descriptions about the knights, who values manners and bravery. As others have mentioned...

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Jen Park
08:02 Aug 08, 2020

I read your bio and it was very interesting. Loved the quote too! I am working when I am walking around the room or backyards with dazzled face. :)

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Amany Sayed
13:03 Aug 08, 2020

Thank you so much for the detailed feedback! I'm really glad you enjoyed the story and my bio. I would love to check out one of your stories.

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Lata B
04:14 Aug 08, 2020

I love the way you wrote this out! I loved reading this! Keep writing amazing pieces! :)

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Amany Sayed
04:22 Aug 08, 2020

Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed!

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Becky Holland
03:46 Aug 08, 2020

I really liked this story, and I usually won't read 'vampire' stuff- could be my age and the fact that I am a book snob sometimes. You really made the journey of reading enjoyable and one that I probably wouldn't mind taking again with one of your pieces. Keep your energy going. Keep writing. Keep growing. Keep learning. Hey, if you get time, i would appreciate you giving some feedback on some of my stories. Thank you!

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Amany Sayed
03:48 Aug 08, 2020

Thank you for reading! I'm not one to read that type of thing either, but it was really fun to write, and I'm glad you enjoyed this one! I would love to! :)

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I. F.
01:39 Aug 08, 2020

Wow, what a creative take on the prompt! Even though this was a short story, you gave us lots of insight into each character's personality. For example, Ernis's captain is only mentioned briefly in the beginning, but when he comes out and Ernis straightens up and stops laughing I could immediately see that the captain was a strict, no-nonsense guy. I also liked all the jokes you included with the world-building, like when Ernis was shocked that the cottage kitchen had marble flooring 😂 Way to go and good luck in the contest!

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Amany Sayed
01:43 Aug 08, 2020

Thank you so much, Itay! Super glad you enjoyed and appreciated my jokes lol. You tooooo

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I. F.
02:37 Aug 08, 2020

I just noticed you posted five stories this week, wow great job! 🙌 Sometimes I struggle just getting one story in 😂 I'll definitely check out some of the others when I get a chance.

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Amany Sayed
02:41 Aug 08, 2020

Oh, haha, yes, I really wanted to get 5 in this week. I don't usually do that. And I don't even know if ONE will be submitted this week, as none of the prompts strike inspiration. Thankssss

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