79 comments

Aug 07, 2020

Adventure Drama

You spend your childhood wanting to grow up, and you spend your adulthood wishing you were a child again. That’s what people say, and I find myself believing in that more and more with each passing year. Sometimes, I really want to go back to the times when my principal tasks were to make it to the beginning of my favorite cartoon, decide what games my friends and I want to play, and convince my mum to let me go to the sleepover. Those days were great and filled with mostly positive moments that seem so carefree and bring warm and fuzzy feelings. I will not claim that I am mature and ready to face challenges my destiny has prepared for me, but now is the game-changer event in my life. 

Maybe going to college isn’t something that would turn my daily routine upside down. However, I still want to believe that the next years would be exceptional. Teenage movies and youthful high spirits must be the reasons that make me ascend to a different life that I could never actually live, wow. But, who said that it’s wrong? I guess that’s something that leads to understanding ourselves, other people, and life itself.

 The reality hits us, and we realize that we’re not in a romantic comedy, where all the actions are scripted and lead to the happy ending with touching music, hugs, and tears of joy. If there was some kind of a book where all the decisions I need to take would have been written, I would use it beyond any shadow of a doubt. To me, there is nothing worse than choosing what I have to do not to screw everything up.

Oh yeah, I forgot to introduce myself, I am Ollie Garraway, a freshman who is both desirous and afraid of change. My life is not eventful, but also not as boring as I sometimes imagine. I want to get to know the world, and communicate with different people, make a lot of acquaintances and do crazy things. But my introverted nature does not allow that sociable person inside me to come out. Well, that's about it. I often overthink events and come up with complex and hypothetical situations that prevent me from doing things I truly want to do.

From day to day, my motto is "stressed, depressed, and not even well dressed." Certainly, that is a kind of exaggeration, but my mood swings are always there for me. You know those people who look very quiet, but when you get to know them better, you receive messages all day long, and you can discuss literally anything with them? I assume that I am one of them, or, at least, want to be.

In a couple of days, I am leaving my hometown and going on a lifelong adventure. How do I feel? To be honest, fear and inspiration, joy, and all the universal sadness are mixed inside of me. I don't know what to expect, but everyone around me keeps saying that college years are the best period in one's life. Also, this is a chance to try everything and understand who you are. I hardly believe it, since I am moving far from home, having no connections in that new and unknown world. But everything that’s done is done for the best, isn’t that what they say? 

The mere thought that I have no idea when I will come home again makes me sad. I adore my small town, where everything is so familiar and dear, where is the most delicious food, and where the smell in a tiny shop with sweets takes me many years ago when I could not decide which candies I wanted more. In this place are the most beautiful sunsets, which I always admire from my window and dream about my future achievements and experiences.

There, all friends will remain in my memory as those with whom I lived the brightest school moments. Although we all will have different paths, I will always hope that we would cherish what we had. Of course, nothing will be the same, but I genuinely want to believe that none of us dares to turn 17 years of friendship into memories that will sweep away like autumn leaves from the light wind of change. We will probably outgrow each other, and I will always have bittersweet feelings when reminiscing on the moments of our youth. 

I have decided to bring a small gift to my friend and wrote a letter, thanking for being with me through thick and thin. We have divergent academic strengths and will be studying in different places, but agreed to chat every day. Probably, that sounds naive, but this is what makes me feel a bit more confident when looking ahead. This thought is like an anchor that will prevent me from getting lost in the sea of boundless events. It’s always been hard for me to meet other people, and it takes time to start feeling comfortable around them. That’s why I value friendship to a greater extent than my buddies do. Sad, but true. 

My partner in crime and my best friend in the world, Charlie, and I, have experienced many situations, where our connection was tested. Some of them, like when she betrayed me for other more popular classmates, have almost led to the complete disappearance of chances to get back what we’ve had before. Luckily, we became close again, but her choices will always remain in my memory, recalling that, in the first place, I should be my own soulmate. 

During the last day back at home, I felt weird because I wasn't sure that everything needed was packed, and probably checked my bags around 100 times. I was worried about the road and my first days there. It is often when you meet new people, and they ask you to say something about yourself. I honestly hate this "tradition" because right at the moment I hear this question, I forget everything and simply say random things, trying to improve the situation. In these cases, I always feel some sort of pressure and want to scream: "My name is Ollie, and I'm not dumb, I just need time to figure out who I am!" 

I promised myself not to cry before leaving. But when I headed to the car, my eyes filled with tears, and I couldn't say a single word because I had a lump in my throat. After a lovely farewell, I sat down in the back seat and smiled. On the car radio played one of my favorite songs, "On Top Of The World" by Imagine Dragons. Yeah! Ollie Garraway is going on an adventure, hoping that everything will be fine because this is the only way.


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79 comments

Lata B
00:07 Aug 13, 2020

Keep writing! Great work here....I love the way you wrote this! :)

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Velma Darnell
08:17 Aug 13, 2020

Thanks a lot, Lata!

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Skyler Woods
21:30 Aug 12, 2020

I felt empowered by Ollie. I also felt like Ollie was talking to me. A very strong narrative. I loved Ollie and I want to go on that adventure with him!

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Velma Darnell
08:16 Aug 13, 2020

Thank you very much, Skyler! I'm glad you ejoyed the story, this means so much to me :) Have an amazing day!

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Thom Brodkin
20:12 Aug 12, 2020

Very well written. Professional grade. You deserve to be short listed.

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Velma Darnell
20:19 Aug 12, 2020

Thanks for such a lovely comment, Thom! Wish you the best of luck :)

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Tvisha Yerra
19:06 Aug 12, 2020

The comments are very contradicting, aren't they? This is a great story, but I'm not the type who likes "Tell, not Show" stories. I'm sure other people will like it, this is just not for me. Great writing though, especially for your first story. :) Didn't find any grammar mistakes (unlike other people.) Have a great day!

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Velma Darnell
19:23 Aug 12, 2020

Thanks, Tvisha! Well, to each his own :) Have a wonderful day too!

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Sarah 💛
16:08 Aug 12, 2020

Applause all around. I really liked your main character and the way you wrote your story.

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Velma Darnell
18:12 Aug 12, 2020

Thank you, Sarah!

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Orenda ♤
09:56 Aug 12, 2020

Hey, Velma! This was very engrossing and description was very well written :n Awesome job and keep writing! Peace out!

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Velma Darnell
10:07 Aug 12, 2020

Thank you for reading and enjoying the story! :)

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Orenda ♤
10:19 Aug 12, 2020

Ye anytimeee:))))

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Charles Stucker
22:18 Aug 11, 2020

After a good opening sentence you start to drift. What does this person actually DO during those last days before college? It all reads like some military after action report- it tells us stuff about Ollie but we don't have any scenes before the very brief tears as the car drives away. Then, you have a good CLOSING sentence. Opening and closing are tough skills, but you still have to fill the part between with scenes. Not just internal monologue, but external interaction with the world, with other people, with some dialogue. For Example...

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Velma Darnell
10:04 Aug 12, 2020

Thank you for such a detailed comment, Charles! I truly appreciate your feedback and will keep definitely in it in mind when writing the next submission. As for the internal monologue, I kinda wanted to concentrate on Ollie's thoughts and feelings, avoiding dialogues. But now I see that they could have helped readers to imagine what the teenager was going through. I'll try to improve the middle and show. Again, thanks for your feedback :)

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Deborah Angevin
21:39 Aug 11, 2020

You've done well with the first sentence; it is attention-grabbing, making the readers want more. The motto was relatable, too! Well-written one, Velma!

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Velma Darnell
09:36 Aug 12, 2020

Thank you for the comment, Deborah!

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Eve Naden
19:58 Aug 11, 2020

First line: ultimately relatable, insightful and brilliant. Never have I read a story more grounding than this. Love your work.

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Velma Darnell
20:03 Aug 11, 2020

What a nice comment, Eve! Thank you for reading the story :)

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Lynn Penny
17:03 Aug 11, 2020

This was awesome! I loved the narrative style you took, it felt so realistic. It kept such a nice tone of humour and your tidbits of character thoughts were just perfect. I see this winning!

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Velma Darnell
19:20 Aug 11, 2020

Thank you for this lovely comment, Lynn! It means so much to me that you liked the story :) Lots of luck!

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Avery G.
15:37 Aug 11, 2020

I loved this story! The motto is also amazing. Great job!

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Velma Darnell
15:41 Aug 11, 2020

Thank you very much, Avery!

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Avery G.
15:42 Aug 11, 2020

You're welcome!

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13:58 Aug 11, 2020

This story is beautifully written. I think that everyone (including myself) can tell that you worked very hard on this story. Your description is perfect, and this story was emotional (in a good way). The fact that at the end Ollie is starting to look up again is awesome. Outstanding job, Velma. -Brooke

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Velma Darnell
14:04 Aug 11, 2020

Thank you for reading it and for your comment, Brooke! Have a wonderful day :)

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14:05 Aug 11, 2020

You're welcome! You, too!

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Regina Morrison
12:53 Aug 11, 2020

This story struck a chord with me because... It reminded me of myself and my 'journey' to find myself and where I fit in. I really enjoyed reading this story :)

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Velma Darnell
13:36 Aug 11, 2020

Thank you for a lovely comment, Regina! I guess many people go through times where they have no idea what to do and are afraid of making mistakes. However, when assessing those moment from the current position, you understand that everything happens for a reason, huh? :) Thanks again for reading the story, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Have a wonderful day :)

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Roshna Rusiniya
21:18 Aug 10, 2020

This was a beautiful story. Very well-written. Flowed so smoothly until the end. Some great lines as well. Good job!

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Velma Darnell
10:15 Aug 11, 2020

Thank you for reading the story and for your kind words, Roshna!

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Roshna Rusiniya
12:47 Aug 11, 2020

You are welcome :)

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I'm so impressed with your first submission! I caught one mistake, but I think it was just a simple miss. In the first paragraph where it says "decide what games me and my friends want to play," it should be "my friends and I want to play." But the emotions in this story were easily defined. I felt sad for the main character. Also, you wrote more about his personality, which was a good thing. I personally love this, I can't wait to read more of your work!

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Velma Darnell
10:14 Aug 11, 2020

Thank you for your kind words, Kendra! I apprecite your comments and glad you enjoyed the story. Have a wonderful day :)

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Your welcome! You too!

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