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Aug 05, 2020

Mystery Adventure

The fluorescent green popsicle on his table began to drip.

The sun just refused to go back in, didn’t it?

The days seemed to increase by one hour as they passed by. There would be no doubt that today would consist of not less than thirty hours at the least. No kidding.

The light beams from the sun that directly passed through his window and roasted him on his bed made him wonder why exactly God wanted to make him darker.

He turned over.

It wasn’t so bad was it? At least he wouldn’t have to go get tans anymore and it would be nice to have some smooth melanin.

Dylan rolled onto the floor and lay there for three seconds before he finally decided to scrub his body off of yesterday’s dirt. He hadn’t showered the night before, and, quite frankly, he didn’t care. Nothing like coming back home to soak in the scent of his sweaty jacket and the prickly comfort that came with the tiny bush thorns stuck in his hair.

His hair. He definitely needed to wash it today; there would probably be no pleasure in going out looking like Mossy the Swamp Monster.

He staggered into the bathroom like a zombie and parked himself in front of the sink. Looking up would be a horror. He definitely wasn’t ignorant of the fact that he looked like an abominable he-goat in the mornings.

Meh, there was nothing to lose.

Dylan pushed his face up and drew his scattered hair a little ways back with his hands. He smirked.

Not bad. Not bad at all.

He didn’t waste his time complaining about how he was a ‘morning freak’; wishing wake-up time was somewhere around twelve noon, when he’d look like the amazing Brad Pitt.

He pulled off his clothes in a hurry and lazily walked into the shower, running the warm water directly on his hair.

He groaned. Why was everything so – warm?

It didn’t take him minutes to get out and dry himself as though he were killing some disgusting bugs on his body. The water was just so irritatingly warm – like everything else.

Dylan walked out of his room and took a refreshing, warm breath. Then coughed it out. His mom was already screaming some crazy Spanish downstairs. At his sister, he expected.

He didn’t even really know why his mom spoke Spanish to them when they were all North American. Maybe it was her crazy commitment to making them bi-lingual.

He shook his head.

It was the first time he went down the stairs like a normal human being; aka not skipping two steps at a time or totally jumping all the way down; or better still, skateboarding his way down the railing.

“Morning mom,” came the dry, throaty greeting directed to his mom, Casey, or was it, Isabella, as she’d ordered them to be calling her from now on.

Yeah, she really had the whole Hispanic thing going on.

“Morning Dylan, how are you?”

Dylan narrowly escaped his moms ‘warm’ hug as he almost ran into the table, smiling sheepishly.

“Fine mum”

He drew a chair out, wondering where on earth – or in the house, his sister was, while munching on a banana pancake.

“So what do you plan to do today?” Isabella was bent into the fridge, looking for God-knows-what. Maybe a bottle of Spanish syrup to go with their Spanish pancakes.

“Um, bike around I guess”

He didn’t finish his pancake.

“Okay hon. Be safe.”

She always said that. Like he was travelling overseas or going on some kind of missionary journey.

He raised a brow and headed to the garage to grab his bicycle.

He had some trouble trying to figure out how exactly to loosen his red bicycle helmet from the bike handle. And then he did it.


~

Dylan was probably the most bored teenage boy in the neighborhood. He decided to do nothing but pedal.

He unlatched the basket from his bike and spotted Dara, the Nigerian girl who lived next door, whom he was terribly attracted to.

Once he looked at Dara it was like there was this huge horseshoe magnet, pulling him, dragging him, towards her. Fatal attraction.

He grinned broadly.

He would stop by to chat, or chill, as she would call it. What better use of his time. As far as he was concerned, he had plenty of it.

He rode out of the compound, his heart beating a little too fast. He met Dara sitting under this sycamore tree that looked like it was someone’s great great grandfather.

“Hey Dara” he got out of his bike and parked.

She beamed.

“Wassup, you weirdo”

He smirked. Dara was a goofball, just like him.

She shifted for him to sit beside her.

“How’s the morning going?” she ruffled his hair, like she usually did whenever she met him. He didn’t ever protest even though it definitely took two hours of his mom’s cussing in Spanish to get them to their almost perfect state.

“Can I say bad?”He lifted a brow.

Dara snorted.

“Hey! Did you watch the wrestling match last night?”Dara sat up again, like she wasn’t already.

“Nope” Dylan stretched himself out on the grass, ready to listen to Dara talk about the wrestling match.

Dara was a talkative. No kidding. He had heard that her tribe, the Yoruba, were a very loud and chatty tribe in Nigeria. He didn’t doubt it one bit.

He suppressed the urge to kiss her. Just to shut her up maybe.

“And then Ronda was like –“

“Wait, it was the women’s match?” Dylan cut her short.

“Yeah”

“Probably why I didn’t watch it”

She smacked him on the arm. Hard.

“Owww”

Then she did this thing that he didn’t understand; this teeth kissing noise she made with her mouth that came out like ‘mtchewww’. It was probably a Nigerian thing or something.

“Hey Dyl, there’s a summer pool party at Tal’s tomorrow. It’s for the class. I’m sure you’ve heard of it. You going?”

Dara looked at him.

“Nope”

She rolled her eyes.

He didn’t really know Tal; and as much as he’d want to meet his friends again, he really just didn’t like the warmth. But it would be nice to see Dara in a swimsuit.

“I’ll think about it”

“Yeah suuure” She twitched her mouth.

Dylan laughed.

“I said I’ll think about it”

“In two years” She flung the tails of her long cornrows over her shoulder.

Dylan got defensive.

“No, by tonight”

Dara raised a black brow, staring directly into his emerald colored eyes.

“It’s a dare” she said.

“And if I win...” Dylan grinned.

“Don’t say anything stupid” She echoed, as if it was a normal thing for him to do. Say something stupid.

His grin collapsed dramatically, “Fughedaboutit”

Dara burst out laughing; clutching her stomach and almost falling on top of him.

“You’re crazy” she said finally.

That’s when he heard her mom call from her house.

“Darasimi!”

Mrs. Fisayo had a very audible voice and rarely used her American accent.

Dara picked her phone from the grass.

“I gotta go Dyl”

He straightened up, wishing he could seal Mrs. Fisayo’s lips from calling, “Darasimi!”, so he could spend more time with her.

She was already up, phone in her pocket, tying her black jacket around her hips where she usually hung it. He meant to ask her why.

“See you tomorrow” she smirked.

He grinned too; then watched her leave and turned to his bicycle.


~

Dylan continued to ride around the street, contemplating whether or not he wanted to attend the pool party at Tal’s.

Of course he did want to meet the guys; and maybe even have a swimming contest with Dara. But Tal acted too suspicious for him.

And then again the warmth.

He thought of riding down to the basketball court to exercise or maybe just throw an orange, surprisingly heavy bouncy ball around a fenced area with marked, asphalt floors.

The pedals rolled faster and he bent over so that air went along his streamlined helmet and he was moving a lot quicker.

 Warmth. He hated warmth. Going at this pace at least he could invite some cold air to invade him.

The basketball court was full – obviously. Summer. Summer was the time when everyone was out and the streets could never be even half empty. People would be biking. The park would be filled, kids found the best time to play with water balloons and prank their parents and siblings, pools would be packed, the gym, the courts, and the beaches would be an everyday party ground.

He sighed.

He used to like a girl named Summer. Back in the first year of junior high. From a distance really. She was quite unapproachable and he couldn’t remember talking to her more than three times the whole year. He had lost interest completely, and it was only second term.

He wasn’t sure though, if that was the reason he didn’t really like the season. It was probably just the heat.

But Dara was different. She was like his best friend; even though he had a seriously major crush on her.

Speaking of best friends, Aidan was meant to be out hours ago.

He parked his bike on the lawn beside the court and walked up, drinking the now warm water in his bottle. Thirst held him from spitting the water onto the floor.

Why did everything have to be so irritatingly –

“Hey Dyl!”

Aidan jogged over to Dylan, who had just closed his water bottle after gulping down the clear liquid in annoyance.

“Wassup dude?’” he said before performing their ritual handshake that was a sort of clasping of hands and then a fist bump.

“What took you so long?”Aidan asked.

He didn’t want to tell Aidan that he’d stopped to see Dara, because he’d tease him. Like he always did.

“I wasn’t even planning on coming, and besides, I’m only late a few minutes.”

“Yeah, a few minutes of wasted muscle building time”

Wha?” Dylan raised a brow.

They both laughed and walked into the court.

~


Dylan definitely wasn’t focusing on his B-ball that day; because he was flopping every chance he could. Aidan even had to shout, “Earth to Dylan!”on the court. They couldn’t blame him, it was the warmth. Though it'd never disturbed him this much.

There was just something he really didn’t like in this particular summer.

Aidan eventually timed him out.

“What is wrong with you?” he asked once they had sat on the bench.

“Believe me, I don’t know” Dylan said dryly.

“Can I have your water bottle?”

Aidan slowly reached for his bottle on the floor. “Don’t you have water in yours?”

“Yeah”

Dylan grabbed the bottle and took a big swig.

“But it’s warm”


~

The ride home was surprisingly quiet and a little slow. Maybe it was just him, trying desperately to block out the noises.

“Hey Chloe,” was all he said when he got home, before rushing up the stairs to his room.

His elder sister, Chloe, who was angrily washing the dishes, didn’t even take notice of him.

Dylan got to the room and immediately collapsed on the bed. The melting Popsicle from that morning was still on his table; but it had completely melted and soiled the floor.

He probably wouldn’t take a bath this night either, except his mother found exactly how to scream, “Go wash up Dylan!” in Spanish.

He pulled his phone out from his pocket and read a message from Aidan:

Dyl, are you going for Tal’s party?

He tried to focus. Tal’s party. Tal’s party, Tal’s party!

It was only then that he remembered Dara’s dare.

I’m not sure yet , he typed

Why not?  Aidan responded him almost immediately.

Why not? Dylan asked himself the question. He should go. Then he shouldn’t.

He decided to ask his mom. He usually just told her where he was going without having to ask whether he could or not. But he was in a very indecisive state right now. For once, he’d ask.

“Mom!” he called as he hopped down the stairs, holding his phone in his left hand.

Si, Dylan” she answered from the kitchen.

He couldn’t roll his eyes further into his head.

“Mom, my classmate’s having a pool party tomorrow afternoon; do you think I should go?”

Dylan asked, staring into his phone. She looked up in surprise and cocked her head to the side.

“Well of course, Dylan”

Apparently she had forgotten to speak Spanish.

Ve a divertite”

And there it was.

Dylan raised a brow, “I speak English remember?”

She groaned and said something in Spanish about them not wanting to learn.

“Go have fun. Enjoy yourself, its summer.”

He thought on those words.

Enjoy yourself, its summer.

He didn’t feel like enjoying himself. But he’d go anyway.

I’ll come over. We should go together, he told Aidan.

Cool

Then he scrolled to Dara’s contact.

I’m going, he typed, alongside a smiley.

I don’t believe it. The surprise emoji beside the sentence reminded him of Dara's face

He grinned.

Me neither.



~

The entire morning was a blur, and he didn’t even get up till his cat-like wall clock struck twelve.

It didn’t take him much time to throw a pair of swim shorts into his knapsack, run out the door and pedal the way to Aidan’s house.

“Shall we leave now?” Aidan had said once he got to his house.

Dylan grinned. He wasn’t eager to get there ‘early’.

The six minutes walk to Tal’s house felt hot. Just an upgrade from what the recent days had been.

Once they got to Tal’s, the noise of all the rowdy teens of his class, splishing and sploshing in the pool, startled him.

Then he saw Dara. She was standing next to the diving board. Dylan couldn’t make out what exactly she was doing.

“Dara!”

She turned, trying to trace the direction from which she had heard her name. She finally saw them – he and Aidan, then smirked.

Dylan took a good look at her outfit. She was already wearing her swimsuit. It was a one piece halter neck that went down her bust and had this huge v-shaped show back, it was dark purple and the bottom exposed her thick thighs.

Worth. It.

Dylan still looking at her when she ran up to him and ruffled his hair.

She had taken out her cornrows and her black, curly hair was now tied up in a high puff. She was beautiful.

Aidan hugged Dara and then she turned and ruffled Dylan’s hair again.

“I still can’t believe it” she said

 Dylan stretched out his arms for his own hug.

“Neither do I”

“Come on, let’s look for the others.” Dylan said once they’d pulled apart.

He was suddenly more expectant towards the summer as he grabbed Dara and Aidan’s hands and started fast walking to the other side of the pool to meet the ‘others’.

Then he felt someone unfamiliar hug him from the front; there was something very different.

There was no warmth.









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72 comments

נιмму 🤎
22:18 Aug 13, 2020

Hey sis! This made me hungry for a popsicle (have sum in the freezer...😋) Also, a banana pancake? very interesting, never heard of her😂 heard of strawberry waffles and blueberry pancakes and chocolate chip and cinnamon but not banana... is the banana cooked inside the pancake or is it just a normal stack of pancakes with slices of banana on top of it but is it? These questions must be answered or they might haunt me at night when I go for my midnight snack. Do I cook the bananas IN the pancake or top it off with - you get the point. Th...

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22:26 Aug 13, 2020

Oh Celeste!!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂It would be an absolute UNDERSTATEMENT to say you've MADE MY DAY!!!!! First of all sis, I ABSOLUTELY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A BANANA PANCAKE IS 😂😂 Do NOT judge me, last time I checked, this was fiction👀👀. And Dara in this story is just a reflection of me (I'm Nigerian, but not entirely from the Yoruba tribe, I also have Igbo blood) And I'm TALKATIVE. We must've been seperated at birth or something Celeste 😂😂😂😂 Secondly: oh yeahhhhhhhh, Dylan DOES like her, a lot. I'm actually developing this into a novel, so hopefully w...

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נιмму 🤎
22:34 Aug 13, 2020

omggg wuttt im so disappointed!! this betrayal sis!!! I put my life on the line to know of this pancake and I am immediately going to look for banana pancakes on google and make sure it is a real thing😂 and ooohhh Nigerian i see you👀👀fancyyy see this is why i call u my sis because we AARE is your uncle and cousins name carlos by any chance? If so we need to look at out birth certificates one more time. girrrlll brooo the amount that i talk is FASCINATING i tell you. is it bad that im falling in love with you even tho we barely know each o...

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22:42 Aug 13, 2020

😂😂😂😂😂 Great idea sis! check those pancakes up so we don't get angry👀👀 Unfortunately no, i do not have an uncle named Carlos, BUT I SURE WISH I DID!!!! I have a dad named Charles though, does that count??? As a fellow talkative, we understand ourselves, they just don't 😂😂. And no, that is not bad AT ALL because I'm already flashing my torchlight in that pit we fell into (mind flashing yours too, I'm looking for you here!) 😂😂😂😂. Gah!!!! I would most DEFINITELY not want my sister's heart to be broken!!! Don't you worry, I'll go give Dara a go...

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נιмму 🤎
22:46 Aug 13, 2020

fr its like others be like bro do u ever know how to stfu and no no we do not! Its just fun hobbie and what can go wrong (many things idk when to shut up so i keep ranting and most likely expose myself because im impulsive and dont think before i talk (or do)) that is too bad about the carlos thing... i was really hoping imma need one of them biggg yellow bright flashllights (maybe even headlights) this pit is very dark make sure dylan sweet talks dara reallll good sis!! i need to get to know you ( i hope this isnt creepy) but whats your...

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22:49 Aug 13, 2020

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 You couldn't be more right! And honestly, I do NOT KNOW. I'm still deciding on that, I've been moving to a lot of colours lately, I can't really decide which one sits comfortably...

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נιмму 🤎
22:36 Aug 13, 2020

UPDATE: there is such thing as a banana pancake!!!! I am undergoing a severe state of shock right now. (also, banana bred) i see that it is used both ways where there is bananans and whipcream on top and in it ??? very alarming, my world is turning upside down i tell u sis

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נιмму 🤎
22:40 Aug 13, 2020

Ingredients Original recipe yields 6 servings Ingredient Checklist 1 cup all-purpose flour 1 tablespoon white sugar 2 teaspoons baking powder ¼ teaspoon salt 1 egg, beaten 1 cup milk 2 tablespoons vegetable oil 2 medium (7" to 7-7/8" long)s ripe bananas, mashed DirectionsInstructions Checklist Step 1 Combine flour, white sugar, baking powder and salt. In a separate bowl, mix together egg, milk, vegetable oil and bananas. Step 2 Stir flour mixture into banana mixture; batter will be slightly lumpy. Step 3 Heat...

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22:46 Aug 13, 2020

Oh WOWWW! 😱😱 Let me copy this down and hand it to my mom ....

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נιмму 🤎
22:48 Aug 13, 2020

bahahha awesome👌😂 make them and tell me if theyre tasty (i just copy and pasted the recipe from this website: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/20334/banana-pancakes-i/ )

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22:51 Aug 13, 2020

Rightio!

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Charles Stucker
16:27 Aug 18, 2020

Unlike the prison tale where we only are left wondering why an alien invader is waiting in a prison, here we have a story that sort of wanders around. You have five scenes in what might be termed a day-in-the life story. But it has no unifying theme. Is Dylan actually having a romance with Dara? It seems that is just a dream of his. He doesn't take any action toward it, just daydreams. This leads to the close, which is confusing- in terms of significance. "There was no warmth." So whoever hugged him, it was not warm. Presumably since he ...

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21:09 Aug 21, 2020

Thanks a lot! This was very detailed and helpful! The story is actually NOT a romance. I just put it as a kind of side attraction because most of any genre of novels (which it actually is) has romance in it. But I guess it was quite misleading (LOL)

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21:10 Aug 21, 2020

The story is YA, it's actually only sort of an extract because I'm developing it into a novel. SORRY for the confusion or if it seemed off point. Thanks again! This was very helpful!

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Charles Stucker
23:01 Aug 21, 2020

Sure. YA is a strange market. You can do all sorts of experimental stuff but if the protagonist isn't appealing to teenagers, it won't go anywhere. Worse, what is seen as hip today will be old news tomorrow. Good luck with your novel. The first manuscript is always the hardest.

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16:49 Aug 22, 2020

Yes! You are absolutely right! I'm actually just beginning to understand the rules of all this. I only recently realised I'm a YA author (also MG) I have a lot to learn and I will definitely need mentors. Critique from people like you really help me a lot to understand a lot of these principles. Thank you! The novel is basically going to be mystery and horror by the way (with some Dylan and Dara romance). Hopefully you'll see it in the bookstores someday! Thanks again! I'm SO grateful! If you could also give your review on "Sister..." th...

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Emmanuel Ebo
16:24 Aug 13, 2020

Good read well sequenced. Keep it up and all the very best. Pretty impressed

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17:37 Aug 13, 2020

Thank you! :D

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Doubra Akika
13:20 Aug 09, 2020

Wow! Beautiful story! Loved the ending! One of my closest friend’s name is Chiamaka 🤣. Loved the part about the ‘mtchew’ and how you included a Nigerian girl in the story. If you’re not busy, would you mind checking out one of my stories? Have a nice day and God bless you.

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22:45 Aug 10, 2020

You're welcome! And I will make sure to check out your stories. I'm actually developing it into a novel so hopefully you'll see it in the bookstore someday! ( and yes, Dara is a main part of the story ( ;

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Doubra Akika
00:26 Aug 11, 2020

Thank you so much! And hopefully I will.

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Deborah Angevin
10:45 Aug 09, 2020

Here as you requested! I noticed a couple of errors in full stop and punctuation marks, but the plot was great overall! Keep on writing, Chimamaka! :D

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22:47 Aug 10, 2020

Thanks! I'm happy you liked it ( : Still trying to get a hold of my commas and semicolons but thanks for the critique!

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