The Mind Diamond

Submitted for Contest #53 in response to: Write a story that begins with someone's popsicle melting.... view prompt

50 comments

Jul 31, 2020

Kids Fantasy Adventure

Dr. Zonk stared at the giant red monstrosity. MEEEEEEEELT, he thought desperately. YOU KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!!!


Dr. Zonk was a scientist that was mad in multiple ways. The first is that “mad” is a synonym for “insane”, a synonym known to be used to describe crazy scientists with a big frizzy ball of shockingly blue hair. The second is that he was very, very, extremely, ferociously, absolutely terror-inducingly angry at a popsicle. Yes, you read that right. A popsicle.


This popsicle was a child’s dream. It was a delectable sweet cherry flavor, juicy and cold, but that wasn’t even the best part. This particular popsicle was ten feet tall and five feet wide with a long, thick wooden dowel down the middle and protruding out the bottom. 


But in the very middle, encapsulated inside the flavored ice, was a crystalline diamond. This diamond, labeled the Mind Diamond, gave its beholder the power to mind-control anyone they wanted. It was trapped in the giant popsicle by Dr. Zonk’s enemy—Freezeray. Freezeray was the town superhero, and had the power to freeze anything into a thick coating of ice. Freezeray had frozen the diamond so that Dr. Zonk couldn’t get to it, and just for fun poured cherry flavoring on and stabbed in a wooden stick. 


Ever since, Dr. Zonk had gotten all his best minions to put heat lamps and fires all around it. He’d reduced it to eight feet tall and four feet wide, but nobody could get to the diamond. Power drills glanced right off its icy surface and fists barely made a mark. The only way Dr. Zonk could get to the diamond was melting, and it was driving him CRAZY.




Meanwhile, Freezeray was having a grand time watching Dr. Zonk drive himself insane. She’d implanted microscopic cameras on the popsicle stick so she could monitor the scientist’s progress on melting the icy treat. 


Soon, she thought, I’ll storm their lair and freeze the diamond forever. 


See, unbeknownst to the public, Freezeray had another ability. But this ability she could only use once in her lifetime. This ability was basically her normal power, but the ice became unmeltable. No matter how many heat lamps they turned on, fires they lit or punches they threw, the ice would stay solid and ice-cold. Freezeray had neglected to use it for fear that she’d need it someday, but she knew that it would be best used to trap the dangerously powerful diamond forever. But first she planned on freezing the insane scientist and making him watch as his precious diamond got frozen for eternity.


Fun times.


Freezeray wore her classic blue-and-white Freezeray jumpsuit with her white sneakers and short blonde wig. Freezeray wore a boys’ blonde wig because she knew that society wouldn’t welcome her as a superheroine. All the comic books portrayed Batman and Spider-Man and Superman. Batwoman, Spider-Woman, and Superwoman? Most kids wouldn’t even know they existed. Superheroes were stereotypically male. Girls didn’t save the day. So Freezeray went along with being a boy. She wanted to be known as a girl, but society simply wouldn’t accept it.


Freezeray watched Dr. Zonk yell at his minions to make fires burn hotter, laughing. He really was a mad scientist. She then noticed how depleted the popsicle was—only two feet wide and five feet tall! She would have to move fast. Freezeray adjusted her wig and tightened her shoelaces. Hesitating a second, she grabbed her monitor and was off.




Dr. Zonk was this close to his prize. He could almost feel it! Freezeray had kept him from his prize, but not for long. The superhero was too late! He would have his diamond and the first thing he’d do with it was have Freezeray walk off a cliff! 


Dr. Zonk, perched on a chair, stared as pink liquid dripped onto the floor from the ever-melting popsicle. One eye spasmed as he grinned creepily at the crystal. He didn’t even notice when his assistant, Burt, called his name. 


“Doctor?” Burt piped up.


“Doctor?” He tried again.


Doctor?” Growing a little irritated, Burt yelled,


“DR. ZONK!” 


Shaken from his apparent trance, Dr. Zonk whirled around. “What? No need to yell!”

Burt ignored this. “We have some new intel from camera #5.”

The scientist immediately perked up. “Is it that Freezeray brat? He’s so annoying!”


Burt cleared his throat. “Well, yes. She is outside the main door, most likely picking the lock now—”


Dr. Zonk burst out laughing. “Freezeray is a girl?!?!” 

Burt nodded solemnly.

Still giggling hysterically, Dr. Zonk replied, “I’m up against a girl? Gosh, I thought this was going to be hard! You might as well open the door for her! This will be a piece of cake—or should I say, popsicle!” 

Burt raised an eyebrow but was silent. He handed the giggling scientist the recording of Freezeray entering.


In the video, Freezeray (wearing her wig) casually walked up to the camera. “Hello, Doctor. I bet you’re sitting there salivating over your precious diamond. I’ll have you know that you are not getting your grubby little hands on the Mind Diamond, now or ever. Well, I’m about to dump a big surprise on you.” Freezeray pulled off her wig and let her white-blonde curls fall to her back.


Dr. Zonk paused the video, choking on laughter, tears in his eyes. “Aaaaahhhhh, this’ll be so much easier than I thought.”




Freezeray was turning redder by the minute. She stood at the front doors, out of view of the cameras. She’d checked her monitor to find an infuriatingly sexist conversation between Dr. Zonk and his assistant. She got so angry that she almost froze the screen. Tossing her unused boys’ wig to the ground, she picked the lock and thrust open the door to Dr. Zonk’s headquarters. 


The HQ was very obviously a villain’s lair. It was a hulking black building that always had toxic waste flowing from its sewers. Cameras recorded everything and everyone within fifty feet of them, and windows were made of Plexiglas. Their HQ wasn’t hidden at all. It was smack-dab in the center of the busiest street in town. 


Great pick, Doctor. Great pick.


Freezeray stormed down the hallway, thrusting her arms out to freeze any of Dr. Zonk’s minions that tried to stop her. Agile and quick, Freezeray made her way to the main room in record time. 

The scientist didn’t even notice the superheroine enter. He was too busy watching the diamond with indescribable greed and hunger. 

Casually freezing the large groups of minions flocking to her, Freezeray smiled calmly. “Not trying to ruin your moment, but that diamond is staying right there.”


Dr. Zonk turned, unintimidated. “Hello, Freezerella,” he mocked, drawing out the A for extra effect. “Glad you and your feminineness decided to join us.”


Freezeray smiled. “My feminineness and I are going to kick your butt, so I’d be careful what you say.”


Ha!” The scientist scoffed. “Like you’ll even put up a fight.”


There’s that grin again. “Just you wait.”


Freezeray thrust out a hand to freeze Dr. Zonk, but he was quick. He dodged and rolled and even cartwheeled once. Freezeray’s heart thumped in her chest, playing a nice dramatic beat to go along with the fight. 


Heroine and villain dodged and struck, played defense and offense, until Dr. Zonk suddenly stopped. Freezeray was about to put him in his icy place when she traced his gaze. The diamond was freed of its sweet cherry chains. Immediately Dr. Zonk made a break for it. Instead of running after him, Freezeray froze the ground under the mad scientist’s feet. Dr. Zonk fell to the ground with a thud. Before he could get up, the superheroine trapped him in ice. No more minions left to fight, Freezeray walked over to study Dr. Zonk’s expression. 


The scientist had his arm thrust out, desperately grabbing for his prize. His eyes were bulging, terrified yet knowing. His freshly ironed white lab coat billowed behind him, seemingly frozen in time.


Freezeray grinned. This would be more fun than she’d thought.


She froze him under another five inches of ice. “That was for being evil.”

Another five. “That was for hurting people.”

“And finally” —Freezeray added another foot of ice to the hunk encasing the mad scientist— “that was for being so sexist!”


The superheroine casually strolled over to the Mind Diamond. Her smile was replaced with a solemn expression of concentration. She put her hands straight out front of her and bored her eyes into the diamond. White and blue tendrils swirled from her palms, covering up the crystal until all she could see of the powerful diamond was a huge blizzard of swirling blues and whites. Freezeray’s eyes glowed a ghostly white and with one last unleashed scream, the tendrils fell away to find the diamond encapsulated in a thick five feet of ice on all sides. 


Freezeray collapsed to the floor, her energy spent. She lay there for what felt like forever. But at least she knew that no matter what Dr. Zonk tried, the Mind Diamond will be safely trapped in its cage of ice forever.

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50 comments

Avery G.
00:00 Aug 02, 2020

Oh my gosh. This was an amazing story! I love Dr. Zonks name. I really hated him, though. Anyways, Freezeray had amazing superpowers. Great job!

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Sarah Freeman
00:58 Aug 02, 2020

Thanks so much!!! Yeah, Zonk is great. Thanks!!!

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Avery G.
01:13 Aug 02, 2020

You're welcome!

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Sarah Freeman
23:23 Jul 31, 2020

Hi! This is my 3rd story, but strangely is my favorite. It’s very fantasy, but that’s how I like things. My favorite part might be either Dr. Zonk’s name (it was originally Zinko but I honestly think Zonk is much better) or that this story has some feminism to it. It was really painful to write that paragraph of Dr. Zonk learning that Freezeray was female! It made me really want to punch this guy. Or, in Freezeray’s case, freeze him. I just want to say that I got my inspiration for Freezeray partly from the prompt, partly from Frozone from t...

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Leya Newi
20:51 Aug 01, 2020

Aww! Thanks, Sarah! I take that as the highest compliment, and I loved the story. I would also love to see Freezeray and Blizzard meet. I have a feeling that they would get along wonderfully. And I would like to say that Batgirl might be my favorite superhero, although the others you mention are, of course, also awesome. Keep writing!

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Sarah Freeman
21:25 Aug 01, 2020

Yeah, Blizzard and Freezeray would definitely be friends. I’m glad you liked the story! Yeah, Batgirl is awesome, but I guess the others are more well-known. Thanks so much, and WRITE MORE because I love reading your stories!

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Leya Newi
22:19 Aug 01, 2020

I will if you will! And I wish there was a way to collaborate, because I would love to write that story.

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Sarah Freeman
22:37 Aug 01, 2020

Haha

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Sahitthian 🤗
06:03 Aug 28, 2020

Adventures story.I love adventure story.I enjoyed the story .Great job👍keep it up.Waiting for your next story. Would you mind to read my story “The dragon warrior?”

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Sarah Freeman
15:24 Aug 28, 2020

Thanks! I’ll definitely check it out.

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Pragya Rathore
19:52 Aug 15, 2020

Hi Sarah! Your interpretation is pretty much awesome. I loved this story! Please write more, I'd love to read your works. Please check out my stories too :)

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Sarah Freeman
17:35 Aug 16, 2020

I’d love to! Thanks so much!!!

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Aditya Pillai
08:45 Aug 10, 2020

Such a fun read! Loved the humor. The story is so unique and creative, and you kept it super engaging. Props to you! Would love your thoughts on my latest! :)

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Sarah Freeman
14:10 Aug 10, 2020

Thanks! I’d love to read it!

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Freezeray is an awesome name for a superhero/heroine! This story was absolutely HILARIOUS and Doctor Zonk makes me think of a traditional crazy scientist. The reason I'm here is because of Aerin so I'm gonna go thank her XD If it's not too much trouble, could you please check out my new story? Thanks so much if you do!

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Sarah Freeman
18:24 Aug 07, 2020

Aerin is a girl, haha! Well, I’m glad you liked the story. I’ll be sure to check out your story!

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18:29 Aug 07, 2020

Haha, yep, I’m a girl! Although my name has like a dozen more spellings, some are female and some are male. Actually, I think Aerin can also be a boys name, although Aaron is more common. Enough about that. Glad you liked Sarah’s story! Bye! ~A

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Whaaat? Oml I'm so sorry! I honestly thought Aerin was a boy's name... But the fact that it's used for a girl makes you even more special! OwO

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Oh good... Wait I just realized, we're all the same age! Nice, it's cool that Aerin wrote a book and Sarah edited it (while I sat in my hermit cave and drew stuff).

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19:16 Aug 07, 2020

Haha, it’s fine! Thanks 😄!

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Sarah 💜🌸
22:27 Aug 03, 2020

AWESOME STORY SARAH! You had me captivated from the very beginning. Freezeray is an awesome protagonist and I wouldn't mind if you gave her a sequal! If you want you can check my newest story, "Our Big Day".

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Sarah Freeman
15:19 Aug 04, 2020

Sure, I’d be happy to! I’m glad you liked my story (and maybe I will write a sequel)!

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00:40 Aug 01, 2020

🤩🤩🤩 I loved this story! It was a cool (literally...) take on the prompt and was by far my favorite of your stories. Zonk is an awesome name. One suggestion: maybe make the ending a little tighter? Another suggestion: DR. ZONK NEED PUNIIIISHMENT FOR BEING SEXIST! You should totally make it so when Freezeray freezes the diamond, part of the...ray bounces off and hits Dr. Zonk! OOH, ON HIS BUTT, SO HE’S ALWAYS COLD. Ahem, ahem. ANYWAYS, great job! 😁😁😁 ~~Aerin

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Sarah Freeman
01:47 Aug 01, 2020

Haha maybe. Glad you liked it! That was probably my favorite of my stories. OOH! I have an idea!!! Check back in a couple days and it’ll be a little different... Thanks!!!

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02:15 Aug 01, 2020

Yay, I can’t wait!

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Sarah Freeman
21:36 Aug 01, 2020

I changed it! Now there’s a more satisfying ending to a certain sexist evil mad scientist! Enjoy!

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21:42 Aug 01, 2020

Yay!

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21:42 Aug 01, 2020

I read it. YAY HE GOT FROZEN! Did he die?

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16:33 Sep 16, 2020

OMGGGGGGGG THIS STORY IS SO FRIGGIN’ TERRIFIC! Like, seriously, I love this too much for words. The plot is AMAZEBEES, and Dr. Zonk’s end was sooo satisfying. Sexist pig. AWEEEESOME JOB, SARAH! You’re an insanely gifted writer. Tell me when your next story is out!! KEEEP WRITING!

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Sarah Freeman
16:40 Sep 16, 2020

THANK YOU SO MUCH, Kymala! This is definitely my favorite of the stories I’ve written. Thank youuuuuuu!!!

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S. M
01:38 Sep 04, 2020

Wow! Such great talent

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Sarah Freeman
14:42 Sep 04, 2020

Thank you so much!

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13:10 Aug 20, 2020

Hey Sarah 😆 I know I already commented on here, but whatever. Just came here to say that I’m going on an upvoting spree of you, so expect more karma points! ~BoB P. S. Would you mind upvoting a couple of my comments if you have time, too? Thanks ;)

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13:14 Aug 20, 2020

Update: got you up almost 100 karma points!

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Sarah Freeman
19:45 Aug 20, 2020

Can’t rn but will do later thanks 👍

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19:46 Aug 20, 2020

Thanks, no problem 😄

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19:22 Aug 11, 2020

I think a big problem with the superheroine world is that they are typically just a cheap rip-off of their male counterpart. Such as batwoman, superwoman etc. I really think that you have the creative power to broaden this limited status and create a heroin who stands on her own. As far as the story goes, I really, really enjoyed it! I loved how it was a bit campy and fun, but written with enough sophistication that the reader still takes it seriously. You're a natural with action scenes, which puts you amongst the elite. I've read MANY publ...

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Sarah Freeman
20:29 Aug 11, 2020

Thank you so much!!! Yes, I was trying to stress the action a little. This means so much! Thanks!

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Deborah Angevin
11:15 Aug 08, 2020

This is a unique take on the prompt! I loved it from the very first sentence! Also, would you mind checking my recent story out, "(Pink)y Promise"? Thank you :D

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Sarah Freeman
18:53 Aug 08, 2020

I think I’ve already read it! Well, I’m glad you liked it ;)

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Doubra Akika
20:04 Aug 06, 2020

I loved the way this was written. Love how Freezeray’s her own superheroine and not the female version of a male superhero. Dr Zonk was so sexist. Happy he was frozen. Probably forever😂. A very creative story! If it’s not too much to ask, would you mind checking out my recent story?

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Sarah Freeman
20:55 Aug 06, 2020

Sure! Glad you liked it!

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Jr. Romars
16:03 Aug 05, 2020

I really liked the story as well as the names of all characters. I have also written story on the same prompt. If you have free time, will u please read it?? Please read and like https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/contests/53/submissions/28224/

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Sarah Freeman
23:00 Aug 05, 2020

Sure! Glad you liked it!

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Skylar Rose
03:17 Aug 05, 2020

Wow Sarah, let me just start off by saying I ENVY YOU You are such an amazing author, and this was so creative like many other people have commented, I love the name Zonk, and the feminism you added really gave a lot to the story. Please write a sequel to Frezeray, she is an amazing character!

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Sarah Freeman
14:15 Aug 05, 2020

Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. Glad you liked it! Thanks!

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