I wipe the tears from my face and get up. Great, I now have grass stains on my colorful tights. Even though I’m technically ‘in mourning’ or whatever, I still didn’t want to change the way I dress. Right now I’m wearing my rainbow-striped tights with a lacy white shirt. I have a plain white skirt over the tights and my hair is done in two long braids going down my back. I have two little pink bows at the end of each of them. Finally, on my feet are my worn out teal converse.
I can’t believe he’s gone. Just like that. One second there, the next not. Thank god I didn’t wear mascara today, or else it’d be running down my face like a waterfall. I walk back into the house, closing the door softly behind me. Mom and Dad are probably still asleep.
Slowly, I walk back upstairs to my room, careful to jump over the stairs that creak, not bothering to take off my converse, not even when I flop onto my bed. Ow. Something hard hits my thigh. I turn over to my side and see my phone, jewels on the case glittering in the early morning light. So that’s what impaled me.
Without getting up, I reach to pick it up. I check my notifications. Nothing huge, only the usual six billion messages missed from the group chat. I put my phone on my dresser. I huff and pull my self out of bed. My blankets are still all over the place. I have to make my bed, then I can properly start the day. I’ll finish that and then go feed-Oh wait. I quickly get up and straighten out my blankets. Then, I arrange my collection of emoji pillows neatly, putting the crying one in front. I always put the one that suits my emotion in front.
As I approach the kitchen to make myself a bagel, I hear a soft sound. Reminds me of Peanut’s mewing. Oh well….I open the fridge and take out the bag of everything bagels and the Philadelphia cream cheese.
I put both halves of one bagel into the toaster oven and wander to the living room, curling up on the couch to wait for the little ding. A couple of minutes later I hear a little creak from the staircase. Reminds me of when Peanut used to wake up and run to me. It’s just dad though.
“Morning sweetheart. You’re up early. What’re you doing on the couch?” my dad says, walking into the kitchen to make coffee.
I shrug but remember he obviously isn’t in the same room as me and can’t see me, so I say, “Just waiting for my bagel.”
“Okay, hon. Is everything okay? How are you holding up?” he says, coming into the living room to wait for his ding. This time, I shrug without saying anything since he can see me. I hear another staircase creak. Reminds me again of Peanut and how he would sometimes yowl when he heard the staircase creak. A tear falls silently down my face. My mom comes down in her fluffy pink bathrobe, dark circles under her eyes, her perfect blonde hair up in a messy bun.
“Morning. Is the coffee done?” my mom says as she has a seat by my father. As usual, it’s like I don’t exist.
Ding! Perfect. My excuse to leave. I get up and shuffle my way towards the kitchen. “Oh, good morning hon.” my mom quickly says like she almost forgot to add eggs to a grocery list and not her child. I don’t even bother to reply.
I take my time slathering cream cheese on the top and bottom of my bagel, licking the remains off of the spreading knife. I take the top half of the bagel and place it neatly on top of the bottom one. Then, I take the bread knife and cut the bagel perfectly in half, causing seeds and crumbs to rain. That reminds me of Peanut too, how he would always lick the remaining crumbs from my shirt and hands.
I sigh, tucking a loose strand of hair that escaped my braids behind my ear. I go to the fridge and return the bag of bagels and a box of Philidelphia cheese. Quickly, I brush the crumbs off the counter and into the garbage. I grab a plastic plate and put my bagel into it. Finally, I make my way to the dining room, ignoring the chatter of my parents that is coming from the living room.
Ugh, I can already tell, today is going to be a boring day. I mean, normally, I would probably take a walk with Peanut. That isn’t going to happen anytime soon though.
I finish my bagel and throw away the paper plate. Then I go back to the living room. To my dismay, my mother and father are still there talking about who knows what.
“Yeah, and who knows what-oh hey honey. Why don’t you go for a walk? Clear your head a little.” my dad says, stopping the conversation to look at me with concern. I sigh and mumble a small ok before running up the stairs to my room to change. After all, I still have grass stains on my tights.
I climb up the stairs one step at a time, this time not bothering to skip the ones that creak. As I turn the corner leading up to my room, my toe hits the wall. I bite my lip to keep from crying out. Ow. ow. Owwwwwww. Why? Just why?!
I walk into my room and flop onto my made bed, dropping a couple of decorative pillows. I kick off my shoes and turn onto my side so I’m looking into my open closet. What to wear…. It’s just a walk so it doesn’t need to be too fancy or anything. Something comfy, but also cute just in case people see me or I want to stop by the cafe. My yellow tights….With the new black skirt and….No, I don’t have a shirt that matches with that.
I’ll just wear my jeans skirt. It’s warm outside anyway. My jeans skirt with my periwinkle blouse. I’ll choose how to do my hair after I dress. Ugh. That means getting up.
I huff and go to my closet, taking out the blouse. Then I open my top dresser drawer and take out my neatly folded skirt. I quickly change and put away my skirt and shirt, but grab the tights and put them in my laundry basket.
I quickly undo my braids and set my bows in my hair accessory basket, riffling through for anything matching with my current outfit. I could just keep my hair down. It’s already slightly curled from the braids. Nah. I’ll put it up in a high bun and wear some dangly earrings. Mom and Dad will worry anyway, I’m taking so long to dress for a walk. Well, Dad will anyway.
I choose a white velvet scrunchie and put my hair up into a bun and choose my white feather earrings. Finally, I’m ready. Oh, wait, shoes. Ugh. I’ll just wear my converse, who cares it’s just a walk.
Now I’m ready. I grab my keys just in case mom and dad leave and walk out the back door. Ahhhh, the fresh air is great. Peanut used to love being outside. He was different from most cats. Oh well. I should at least try to stop thinking about him.
I might as well go to the cafe and get a frozen hot chocolate.
That meow…..Almost sounds like Peanut. It’s impossible but...I make my way to where the sound is coming from. I’m in a dark alleyway filled with trashcans and a small dumpster. One of the trash cans is turned over on the ground with banana peels, empty cans, and empty toilet paper rolls spilling out. One of them is shaking like there’s something alive inside. I hear a mew again. My heart starts to beat faster and faster. It feels like I’m in a movie. But this shouldn’t be scary. He’s either in there or he’s not. Even so, I get goosebumps as I slowly make my way to the moving trash can, one step at a time.
But whatever’s inside doesn’t give me a chance to look for myself as the trash can falls, startling me so I gasp. Out of the can comes a beautiful orange and brown cat, covered in garbage. My eyes brim with tears. He looks exactly like Peanut.
But just this morning I was at Peanut’s grave! It’s not possible. No way. And yet I feel my feet inch themselves closer and closer to the cat, who is now attempting to clean the filth off of himself.
I pick him up. The cat looks a little scared for a second, then just resumes it’s cleaning. I softly hug the cat, then set him down. If he was given another life, then I think it’s best to leave him be. Who knows, he’ll probably get a better owner. I’m not safe for him…
For a while, I sit against the brick wall and watch Peanut as he sifts through all the trash cans. Once he’s done his last can, he comes over and plops himself down in my lap. I let out a small laugh. This is Peanut all right. I pet him absentmindedly and he starts to purr, nuzzling against me. I check the time on my phone without moving Peanut. It’s 12:09 pm. I better get going or Dad’ll worry. I softly nudge Peanut off of me and get off, dusting my skirt. It’s for his own good I suppose.
“Goodbye Peanut…,” I say, trying to keep the sob out of my voice as I leave the alleyway. I rub my eyes, desperately hoping they’re not red with tears and use my key to get in through the back door.
“Dad?”I call out. No answer. He probably left with Mom somewhere. I walk up to my room.
At least he’s safe. I guess I could always get another cat...But I can’t. It won’t be the same, and I can’t live with the loss again.
I could visit him...If he doesn’t get an owner.
I kick my shoes off and lay down on my bed. Nothing more to worry about I guess if he’s already resurrected or whatever I should call him being back. Maybe cats do have nine lives. Maybe I hallucinated. But the trash cans definitely moved. Maybe….it was just a different cat. I start crying again and sigh.
It’s going to be a long day.