Red, Blue, White

Submitted for Contest #51 in response to: Write a story about someone who's haunted by their past.... view prompt

243 comments

Submitted on 07/22/2020

Categories: General

To Bella,

 

Red was the colour of your favourite flower, roses. The first flower that I bought for a girl. The flower that you always liked to receive, regardless of the situation.

 

Blue was the colour of your skirt, your junior high school uniform. The one you wore when we first met at the entrance test for the high school that we attended.

 

White reminded me of the packaging of your favourite soft drink. The fizzy drink that tasted weird, the beverage that I hated. The only thing that we couldn’t seem to agree on.

 

Yet it all changed after that car accident under the orange-coloured sky.

 

Red became a strong and lasting imagery in my mind. 

 

It reminded me of the blood, as it gushed out from the back of your head as you gradually closed your eyes. The colour of the warm liquid that painted your cold body, the colour that got transferred to mine as I hugged you for the last time. 

 

It kept me awake at night, as guilt filled my heart. The feeling that grew bigger as I saw the pained expression on your father’s face, who was calming down your crying mother as they arrived at the bloody scene. 

 

The guilt that stayed within me, regardless of how many times I bowed down and apologized to your parents. 

 

The feeling that I still get every time I visit your parents, up until now.

 

It made me think of the accident. The exact memory inside my mind that relived again and again, as if it was a video with a replay button. 

 

The conversation that we were having.

 

The speed of the car before we hit the railing.

 

The loud thud as the airbag popped.

 

The few seconds when we floated.

 

The moment our car descended the rocky cliff. 

 

The memory that I wished to forget, the memory that scarred me for life.

 

Blue became this ambiguous connection between the two of us.

 

It was the colour of the car that I drove that day. The automatic sedan that I brought for the sake of showing-off, unfortunately, became the car that brought an end to your life. 

 

It became the epitome of regret. 

 

The feelings that raised questions inside my head.

 

What if I had never driven the car? Maybe you would feel disappointed that I couldn’t bring you to the observatory as promised, but you would still be by my side. 

 

What if I had never asked you out? Maybe my high school memories wouldn’t be full of happiness, but you would still be alive and well.

 

What if I had never fallen in love with you? Maybe this wouldn’t happen and both of us would never have to suffer the way we are now. 

 

The same set of questions that I still ask myself from time to time.

 

And the same set of answers that I still come up with.

 

It brought self-blame into my brain. The feeling that reminded me about the stupid idea to bring you to the mountaintop, about my foolish bravery to drive, despite the lack of my driving skill. 

 

The feeling that led to another voice inside my head.

 

“Why did you do that, Kevin? What were you thinking? Oh, you are such an idiot.”

 

“Now, look at you, a murderer. Begging for mercy, unable to forgive yourself.”

 

White became a new ability that I never wished to get.

 

It was the colour of the creatures floating around at the cemetery when I attended your funeral. Those that couldn’t be seen by naked eyes, those that were invisible to others.

 

It became the colour of the new you. The one who hid behind the tombstone as you watched over the burial of your lifeless body. 

 

Yes, you, the one who became a spiritual being, who didn’t know the burden of being the one left alive. 

 

Yes, you, the one who stayed behind in this world with a wish to talk to me once again.

 

Yes, you, the one that I still can see up to this day.

 

It forced me to think about what I should do.

 

If I become white too, what would you think of me?

 

Because if I do, I would be brave enough to see you.

 

Because if I do, we would be together again. This time, for eternity.

 

Because if I do, it would be easier to forgive myself for what I have done.

 

Yet it all changed after I met the green-eyed girl.

 

Red became the colour of her favourite dress. 

 

It was the one that she wore as she pulled my hands, saving me, pulling me out of the river after I jumped from a bridge.

 

The me who couldn’t stand to continue living in suffering any longer. 

 

The me who tried to run away from the life that you couldn’t have.

 

The me who tried to throw my life away, the life that robbed your future.

 

Blue became a turning point in my life.

 

It was the colour of the sky when I realized that she made me happy. 

 

The feeling that I got as this green-eyed girl put aside the rumours she heard about me.

 

The feeling that I haven’t had since the day you died.

 

The feeling that led me to think, “Let’s end this suffering, once and all.”

 

White marked the beginning of my new life. 

 

It was the colour of my shirt when I visited your parents. The time when I let out the truth about my ability. 

 

The same time when I asked their permission to move on, to be happy with the green-eyed girl.

 

It was the colour of the envelope given by your parents. Delivering the letter to you was the only thing that they wanted me to do as a way to atone my sin.

 

"Because moving on doesn't mean you forget; it means you accept what happened and continue living."

 

That's what your parents told me as they sent me off to the cemetery.

 

---

 

So, here I am.

 

Bringing a bouquet of red roses, white envelope, and golden-coloured wedding invitation in my hand, I walk between the tombstones, heading over to meet you.

 

And as I see your ghost, I gulp nervously.

 

“How are you?”

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243 comments

Niveeidha P
07:13 Jul 23, 2020

Hi Deborah, you asked me to read so, (without hesitation) I'm here! This was good! Paragraphing a little more would be easier though. It was clumped up and hard to read. One thing you want to do is to make the reader feel connected with the story. Make the reader attached to Bella and then let her go. Make her feel connected with Bella before the car accident. Just some helpful tips, otherwise, a well-written, sad story! PS- I struggled to pull out the tissues after I read this one ;)

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Deborah Angevin
10:45 Jul 23, 2020

Thank you for the feedback! Glad that you enjoyed the story! PS - I'm writing this to focus on Kevin; Bella's background story before the accident will be... for next one when the prompt fits! :D

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Niveeidha P
22:08 Jul 23, 2020

No problem, ooh! I would love to read Bella's background! Just a thought, maybe you should have done her background first... 🤔🤔 I hope that makes sense.

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Deborah Angevin
11:40 Jul 24, 2020

I know... but none of the prompts this week seem to fit :(

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Niveeidha P
12:13 Jul 24, 2020

Oh...sure then! I'll wait for the next story whenever it comes out! :)

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Deborah Angevin
12:17 Jul 24, 2020

Will definitely reach out to you when it comes out! :D

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18:15 Jul 24, 2020

I loved how this connected to "Orange-Coloured Sky." Reading that story, I didn't have too much sympathy for Kevin, but reading this one gave more perspective. Great job packing so much into simple images!

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Deborah Angevin
23:03 Jul 24, 2020

I reread "Orange-Coloured Sky" and felt absolutely the same about Kevin (which was why I got the urge to write "Red, Blue, White"!) Thank you for reading and enjoying it! :D

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Greg Gillis
10:47 Jul 22, 2020

Wonderful story. You may want to make one change, however. In the sentence, "The automatic sedan that I brought for the sake of show-off, " I suggest changing show-off to showing off.

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Deborah Angevin
11:00 Jul 22, 2020

Sure thing, Greg! Thank you for your feedback! :D

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Princess Eno
20:21 Nov 24, 2020

Oh my! I mean, if there was a thing like beautiful in a story, then this is it 😀. I felt like I was there with them, and Blue is my favorite colour!! You're an amazing writer, I like what you do with your words ❣️

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Daniela Vaudrey
16:31 Jul 31, 2020

Really good! I’m reading them backwards so the dark green one, this and then orange coloured sky😂

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Phebe Emmanuel
02:20 Jul 24, 2020

This is so good! I love how you started with the 3 colors and how the red tied in was AMAZING! Wonderful!

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Deborah Angevin
11:49 Jul 24, 2020

Glad that you enjoyed it, Phebe! :D

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Phebe Emmanuel
17:00 Jul 24, 2020

:)

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20:07 Jul 23, 2020

I've read your story as you requested and I can see you are very much sensible to colours and it is evident in the story. Good job.

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Deborah Angevin
21:49 Jul 23, 2020

Thank you for reading it, Hermione! :D

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Mara C
18:00 Jul 23, 2020

So sweet and wonderful to read! So well written, well done!

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Deborah Angevin
21:51 Jul 23, 2020

Thank you for reading it, Mara :D

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Avery G.
17:28 Jul 23, 2020

Hello! I really liked this story! It was haunting, with a little bit of sadness in there. I like the pace. Overall, great job!

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Deborah Angevin
21:51 Jul 23, 2020

Glad that you enjoyed the story, Avery! Thank you for reading it :)

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00:21 Jul 23, 2020

I’m not a sappy person but this really made me tear up. The way you describe the emotions is so perfect and spot on. And I love the way the colors drove the story. Great job loved it

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Deborah Angevin
10:49 Jul 23, 2020

Glad that I can convey the emotions to the readers :). Thank you for enjoying the story!

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Amany .
21:27 Jul 22, 2020

Hello! You commented on my story asking me for feedback, and I'm glad I came! I loved Orange Colored Sky and am glad you made this one. I hope you write more about those characters. It was great! The way you keep a lot of the sentences on their own line made it flow in a poetry-like way, if that even makes sense. It kind of reminded me with the colors of a story I wrote, "Wall of Color", and you should read it if you get the chance. Tell me what you think of it if you do! Again, amazing story! Great Job!

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Deborah Angevin
22:16 Jul 22, 2020

Glad that you enjoyed the story! And yes, I'll check out the "Wall of Color"! :o

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Maya Reynolds
20:17 Jul 22, 2020

Wonderful story! I love that he was able to push past his mistake and guilt and continue with his life. "Because moving on doesn't mean you forget; it means you accept what happened and continue living." Great message. One small correction. In your previous story "Orange-Coloured Sky", the wedding invitation was gold and in this one its green.

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Deborah Angevin
22:18 Jul 22, 2020

Whoops! Thank you for pointing the invitation colour out!

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Sue Marsh
15:43 Jul 22, 2020

I loved the use of colors, and the follow up to Orange Colored Sky, all came together so well. Great job. Sue

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Deborah Angevin
22:30 Jul 22, 2020

Thank you for reading it, Sue! Really appreciate it :)

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Doubra Akika
13:24 Jul 22, 2020

I also love how you had the different colors and what they represented as the story progressed.

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Deborah Angevin
22:34 Jul 22, 2020

Thank you for enjoying the story, Doubra! :D

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Doubra Akika
13:19 Jul 22, 2020

This is so beautiful. I love how she comes to terms with it and accepts it. I love how she moves on also. It’s like the very story I’m working on now😂. It’s like hope sort of. I loved the concept. There were a few grammar issues but I’m not very good at proofreading but I think you should go over it again. Wonderful piece!

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Deborah Angevin
22:37 Jul 22, 2020

Thank you for the feedback, Doubra! Sure, I'll proofread it once again and correct it as much as I could :D

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11:55 Jul 22, 2020

Perfect.

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Deborah Angevin
22:40 Jul 22, 2020

Thank you! :)

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Nice! You told me to come read this, and I’m glad I did! I didn’t read Part 1, but this still was awesome on it’s own! Great job! —Aerin

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Deborah Angevin
22:42 Jul 22, 2020

Glad that I can get feedback from those who didn't read the first part! I wanted to know how it reads on its own, and glad that it can be understood as standalone story :)

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Caleb Baeten
04:03 Aug 29, 2020

You asked me a while ago to give this a read, and I am finally able to get to it. So, without further delay, my thoughts. You wrote a piece that celebrated the theme very well. Not just a person in regret, that's the obvious. It was a well thought out piece. The use of color to highlight the shifts and changes in life. The depth of sadness and quiet self-loathing hits correctly what a person (especially men) who feel responsible for the death of a loved one. I've studied the psychology of regret between the sexes, and this was well done fr...

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Deborah Angevin
08:08 Aug 29, 2020

Thank you for your kind words, Caleb! :D

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20:08 Aug 07, 2020

It's also incredibly sad.

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20:08 Aug 07, 2020

Wow. This is amazing. I really like the style. It's quite powerful.

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Deborah Angevin
10:43 Aug 08, 2020

Thank you for reading, Daniella! :D

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11:26 Aug 08, 2020

Of course.

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