192 comments

Submitted on 07/15/2020

Categories: General

“How are you?”


Sitting at the grass, enjoying the blue sky slowly turning orange, I turn my head at the familiar sound. In front of me, a man stands with a white short-sleeve shirt and khaki pants. Black rectangular-framed glasses sit on the bridge of his nose, covering his dark brown eyes. 


I blink my eyes twice, making sure he is the same man that I know. “Kevin?”


The man flashes a wide smile. “You still remember me?”


“Of course!” I answer, still feeling surprised. I did wish to meet him, yet it never occurred to me that we could ever meet again.


“Here, flowers for you,” Kevin stretches his hand, putting a red-coloured bouquet in front of me, along with a white plastic bag.


“Oh, thank you! Rose? It doesn't match the vibe here, though,” I peek at the bouquet while gesturing him to sit in front of me.


“Whatever with vibes. I just know for sure that you'll like it,” Kevin answers as he crosses his legs to sit down beside me.


Beaming with joy, I nod at his statement. This behaviour of him never stops to make my heart flutter. 


“You look the same as I last saw you,” Kevin states.


“Still pretty?” I jokingly ask as I put my palms under my chin, moving my fingers playfully to resemble the flower petals.


Kevin lets out a chuckle at my action. “Yeah, yeah.”


“You look different,” stopping my fingers from moving, I reply.


“Different like, how?” Kevin gets his face closer to mine.


“Like, these lines at the corner of your eyes weren't there last time,” I stretch my hands, trying to reach his facial features.


Kevin lets out a faint smile, moving his head backwards to avoid the touch of my hands. “Well, ten years have passed by.”


Understanding the uncomfortableness that the guy in front of me is feeling, I pull back my hand, suppressing the wish to caress his face. 


Avoiding the awkward situation, Kevin grabs the plastic bag that he brought and takes out the two white-coloured cans. “Your favourite drink.”


My eyes widen at the familiar-looking logo pasted on the can. “You still remember.”


Kevin pops the can, letting the fizz out, “How can I forget when you always bought the same drink over and over again?” 


“You'll drink it?” I ask while observing the man beside me.


“I have bought it, so might as well,” Kevin gulps the soft drink, letting my jaw drops in surprise by the action.


“I thought you hated this drink? Remember back then in high school?" 


“That was then. At this time, I have grown quite a liking to this beverage,” Kevin excuses himself, then turns around and lets gas out from his mouth.


I mouth 'WOW' in silence as I watch Kevin pour the liquid and swallows the beverage once again. “Since when, though?”


“Since you were gone, I guess?” Kevin replies in a playful tone.


“Oh come on, I know you have already moved on,” I throw another question to corner him.


“No?” I could see Kevin avoids looking at me when he states his replies. The habit that he always does when he is lying.


I cross my arms, about to ask him to spill out his life story for the past ten years, when he pulls out a white envelope from the back pocket of his pants. “Anyway, I've got a letter for you,” Kevin stretches out, “From your parents.”


I nod my head a couple of times as I observe Kevin opening up the envelope, putting the piece of paper in front of me, ready to be read. “How are they?” I ask as I skim through the writing on the paper.


“Healthy and well. From time to time, I drop by your house and have a chat with them,” Kevin puts his left hand under his chin, waiting for me to finish reading the letter.


“Oh, that's good to hear. I feel better knowing that someone is caring for them in my stead,” I lift my head from the letter, looking at the guy in front of me once again. 


“That's the least that I can do,” Kevin forces a smile. 


“Is this the only letter for me?” I ask abruptly.


The guy in front of me is taken aback by my question. He opens his mouth, but he chooses to close it again. Instead, his hand reaches out to the white plastic bag, pulling out another envelope. This time, a golden-coloured one with his name embedded on the front.


Along with a girl’s name beside his.


“This is what you come here for, isn’t it?” I observe the decoration on the corner, as well as the heart ornament in between the two names.


“I’m sorry,” Kevin says in a soft voice. He averts his eyes from mine, and I could see that smile no longer exists in his face.


“Don’t be,” I shake my head, trying hard to push back the tears from falling. All the memories when I spent the time with him comes flooding back.


And silence falls between the two of us for a good few minutes. I am drowning in my thoughts, and so is Kevin.


Until a ringtone from Kevin’s phone breaks it.


Kevin answers the video call, displaying a girl in a red dotted dress on the screen. “Babe, I am here. Where are you?”


“Oh, I’m still inside,” Kevin replies. He glances at me, with a pained expression.


“Are you done? I am at the gate. Come on out please, this place is rather creepy,” the girl ends the call.


Kevin bits his lip as his phone screen turns black. “I feel bad about leaving you.”


“Go, Kevin. Be happy.”


---


“Babe!” the girl in the red dress waves her hands to Kevin.


Kevin turns around to look back at me. “Can I ever meet you again?”


“I don’t think you can. I am leaving. My wish has been fulfilled, after all.”


Kevin nods his head. “Move on, Bella. You deserve to be happy too.” Kevin gives me another smile before walking closer to the girl who is standing near the reddish brick gate.


From afar, I could see the girl wraps her fingers around Kevin’s arms.


From afar, I could see the diamond ring on her finger that shines brightly under the sun’s reflection.


From afar, I could see the two walk side by side, chatting at each other happily.


---


“Who did you meet, Babe?”


“My ex.”


The girl in the red dress frowns. “Here? What a weird place to talk with your ex.”


Kevin lets out a chuckle as the girl turns her head, looking around between the countless tombstones, trying to take a glance at his so-called ex.


“Don’t be jealous. She already died a long time ago.”


---


It was one Sunday evening when Kevin drove his father's car. We were eighteen, did not even have a driving licence, yet we courageously took off for our date.


The beautiful views on the way to the observatory on the mountaintop distracted our eyes from the road. But during one of the sharp turns, without quick reflex behind the wheel, our car skidded and fell off the cliff.


And I could remember the sunset that I watched with pain all over my body, up until the last moment I closed my eyes.


And today, under the same orange-coloured sky, after meeting the love of my life for the last time, my soul can finally rest.

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192 comments

Corey Melin
23:46 Jul 15, 2020

You did quite well on the dialogue and description. Near the end you used "reflect" when it should be "reflex". That might the lovely autocorrect. The ending is superb since I always love a twist.

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Deborah Angevin
08:02 Jul 16, 2020

Whoa, yup, that was autocorrected! Thank you for reading and letting me know!

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Abigail Slimzy
17:16 Jul 20, 2020

Debbie please can a delected story be retrieved ?

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Deborah Angevin
22:39 Jul 20, 2020

I never deleted mine so I have no clue :o

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Abigail Slimzy
07:09 Jul 21, 2020

Alright.. I really didn't know how it happened. Not happy about it though but it's all good.

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Pranati Chavali
06:48 Jul 16, 2020

Chills running down my spine...😶 *shiver*

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Deborah Angevin
08:06 Jul 16, 2020

Hahaha! As always, I am happy to surprise people with the ending :D

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Deborah Angevin
22:39 Jul 20, 2020

Thank you! :D

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Phoebe Barr
02:47 Jul 19, 2020

Even before reaching the twist, the story had an air of nostalgia and tragedy about it that hinted that was where the story was going. A very well-told and well-put-together story. I like your imagery too. Thanks for sharing! :)

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Deborah Angevin
10:05 Jul 19, 2020

Glad that I can convey the imagery to the reader! :D

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Courtney Stuart
23:45 Jul 15, 2020

this was an amazing story! before i got to the twist, i kept thinking about how great the dialogue was, and then it became a lot more meaningful when i read the ending! i especially liked the ending part you wrote in italics - it was very poetic and beautiful, and i think it was the most perfect way to end this story. great job! 😊

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Deborah Angevin
08:03 Jul 16, 2020

Glad that you liked the ending, Courtney! Thank you for the review :D

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Jesna Anna s.
23:19 Jul 15, 2020

Wow! Good twist. Did not see that coming! Keep writing Deborah!

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Deborah Angevin
23:28 Jul 15, 2020

Thank you for reading it, Jesna! :D

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Deborah Angevin
22:27 Jul 15, 2020

Last time, some people said that my dialogues & description can be too stiff in times. So I wrote this one for practice! Would love to hear your feedback!

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Tvisha Yerra
23:49 Jul 15, 2020

This flowed perfectly! Loved the twist too, I thought something was going on, but I wasn't sure what. :P Another thing, to put more meaning to the name of this story, maybe mention the color of the sky at the beginning too?

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Deborah Angevin
08:04 Jul 16, 2020

Being ambiguous throughout the whole story is what I am aiming for! Thank you for reading it! Oh, I will include the colour at the beginning too, that will be a great addition! :o

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Aarshia Ray
11:08 Jul 23, 2020

Nice story, especially the twist at the end.

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Doubra Akika
22:18 Jul 18, 2020

This was a beautiful story. I really liked the dialogue and the twist at the end. Beautiful piece

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Deborah Angevin
10:01 Jul 19, 2020

Thank you for reading and enjoying it, Doubra! :D

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Sue Marsh
15:48 Jul 18, 2020

that was a great twist, the story line is great, the story itself was enjoyable but the ending really hit home. thank you for a wonderful story.

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Deborah Angevin
21:22 Jul 18, 2020

Thank you for the review, Sue :)

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02:55 Jul 17, 2020

Dang this is really good! I loved the twist as well as the picture, I can see it so clearly while I was reading it and that's what I love!

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Deborah Angevin
21:46 Jul 18, 2020

Really glad that I can convey the image that I have to reader by my writing!

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Peony Price
01:15 Jul 17, 2020

Really enjoyed this! What a twist!

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Deborah Angevin
06:52 Jul 17, 2020

Glad that I can surprise you with the twist! :D

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Len Mooring
21:43 Jul 16, 2020

I like the weird. You did the dialogue well, I was tantalised, which was the point. Good work.

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Deborah Angevin
06:52 Jul 17, 2020

Thank you for reading it, Len! :)

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Lynn Penny
20:31 Jul 16, 2020

This was such a creative take! I would of never thought of such a wonderful story. The twist was well thought out and not obvious, but the foreshadowing was there and set it up perfectly. I have no criticisms for the plot, only admiration. I can see this one winning!

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Deborah Angevin
06:53 Jul 17, 2020

Wow, high praise! Glad that you enjoyed the story, Lynn!

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19:41 Jul 16, 2020

OH MY GOSH! I did not see that coming! I am super impressed with her parents. They must be really forgiving to still be willing to talk to the guy who killed their daughter while driving illegally. But that just added to the beauty of this story. There are a few grammar mistakes, like "swallows the beverage once again" and "he states his replies" (it should be swallow and reply) but otherwise it's absolutely perfect. I won't be at all surprised if you win. :)

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Deborah Angevin
06:55 Jul 17, 2020

Wow, high praise! By the way, you are the only one that mentioned the kindness of the parents! :o

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19:40 Jul 16, 2020

Wow, what a unique way of looking at the prompt! I enjoyed your use of dialogue, and the ending provided an unexpected twist

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Deborah Angevin
06:55 Jul 17, 2020

Thank you for your kind words, Emilie! Glad that I can surprise you with the twist at the end!

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Tori Routsong
19:12 Jul 16, 2020

Quite the twist! I didn't see this one coming, but now that I've read it I can see that you sprinkled in hints about it throughout the entire story. Nice job!

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Deborah Angevin
06:56 Jul 17, 2020

Oh, I'm glad that someone actually realized the hints within the story! :o

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18:46 Jul 16, 2020

Wowwww what an amazing story! The ending twist just adds a great flavor to the story. It's so well written. Kudos to your writing!

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Deborah Angevin
06:57 Jul 17, 2020

Thank you for the review! Glad that you enjoyed it :)

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Jane Andrews
18:20 Jul 16, 2020

Hi Deborah. You asked me to review this, so here goes... Firstly, I think I may watch too many detective shows or else I’m wise to your love of twists by now because I worked out that the storyteller was dead/a ghost before I got halfway through. That didn’t spoil my enjoyment though. I noticed someone else commented on occasional stiff dialogue where you write “I have” instead of using a contraction (a contraction is a way of making something shorter; a contraption is a machine or device). I appreciate that a journalistic background will ...

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Deborah Angevin
07:01 Jul 17, 2020

Thank you for the review, Jane! You seem to be the only one that realizes the twist halfway in the story :o. Will definitely keep the issue with using contractions in mind :)

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Keri Dyck
18:07 Jul 16, 2020

Very good! I will be honest, I usually find it annoying when people comment on my piece advertising their own, but I did really like this story.

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Deborah Angevin
07:02 Jul 17, 2020

Glad that the story can meet up to your expectation, Keri! :)

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