A few hours of torture...

Submitted for Contest #49 in response to: Write a story that takes place in a waiting room.... view prompt

87 comments

Submitted on 07/05/2020

Categories: General

He sat there in his chair, his family was around him. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, maybe it just looks bad. No, this was bad.

“Teddy, it’s going to be okay” his grandma told him.

He shook his head, pulling on his hair, “No it’s not, did you see how bad it was? Grandma, my car got totaled, how is it all going to be okay?”

“Ted, have some hope in you” Ted's mom said, her face twisted in worry.

He just shook his head while grabbing his hair again. He clenched his jaw, fighting the tears that wanted to come out. It was so painful how quiet the waiting room was, all you could hear was Teds intense breathing with his heart trying to break its way through his ribs, “You don’t understand,” Ted's voice cracked, “you weren’t there.”

“You're right, son. We weren’t there, but we are all here now so you're not alone on this. She is going to be okay... they are going to be okay.”

Ted looked up into his dad's eyes. His dad smiled slightly and laid a hand on Teds shoulder, it’s nice to have a family that never gives up on you.

Sometimes you have to think of the worse so you can be prepared for the worse. It’s something Emely, Ted's wife, always told him.

“Sweetie, are you sure you don’t want to clean yourself up? You wouldn’t want those scratches to get infected.”

“Mom, I am not going anywhere until I know she is okay. I’m nothing compared to the way she got hurt. Stupid idiot, who drives like an idiot, they could’ve killed any one of us.”

“And they didn’t, so don’t stress yourself over this.”

“Okay but mom, they just drove away after hitting us! Do they not have a heart?”

“I understand you, trust me I do. Sweetie, I just don’t want your blood pressure to rise up that’s all. Take deep breaths for me please.”

Ted’s mom was right, he was raising his blood pressure. He was just so angry at the person who hit them. At least check to see if we are okay. How was his family so calm?

A male doctor named Dr. Jackson came through the swinging doors and walked towards them with an anxious face.

Ted stood up, “How are they? Are they okay? Is she okay?”

He took a deep breath, “She is okay yes, but unfortunately, we are going to have to proceed to surgery.”

“And my baby?”

He twisted his fingers, “We are going to do everything we can.”

“Everything you can? Is there a chance my baby boy won’t make it through?”

“Ted, we are going to do everything we can, I need you to be patient. It's going to be a few hours, so I would recommend getting those scratches cleaned. In the meantime, we are getting her set for surgery.”

Ted backed away, feeling the world spin around him. So… there's a chance they won’t make it through. He ran his hands through his hair. 

“I have to get out of here.”

“Teddy!” Ted’s grandma called out.

Ted walked out into the hospital halls, ignoring his grandma.

Memories started to play in his mind…

***

“Come on, it’s been two minutes.”

Emely stood in front of him, pacing in the living room while shaking her hands, “Honey, it has only been 30 seconds.”

She put up her long black hair, her green eyes were so wide, “Why did the world do this to us, make us wait for two whole minutes, what’s the point? Why can’t I just know if I am pregnant or not right away? Does this world want to torture me?”

Ted got up and stopped Emely from pacing back and forth, “You’re going to put a hole in this floor if you don’t stop pacing.”

Emely looked at Ted with impatience, “I just want to know already.”

“And we will, you just have to be patient for this one time. Come on, be patient with me.”

Ted hugged Emely tightly, she didn’t know that he was killing time for her and it worked, it had already been two minutes.

“Okay, here we go.”

Emily stared at him, desperate for the answer. She put both of her hands on her face and pushed her cheeks up, “Tell me, what's our future looking like?”

Ted looked at it once and fought back the smile, “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” he joked, Emely stared at him disappointed and let her hands drop, she thought she wasn’t pregnant, “it looks like we are going to have to deal with a kid for the rest of our lives.”

Emily jumped up and down, screaming in joy, “You jerk!” she said, punching him in the arm.

Ted laughed, “Ow!”, he joined her and  also jumped up and down in joy, “Sweetheart, we are going to be a family!”

***

“And it looks like we are all good here, Ted. Would you like to take some extra bandages just in case?”

Ted felt like he was sleep walking, he looked at his doctor with his eyes drooping, “Yeah sure, why not.”

His doctor nodded, “Then you’re all set, have a good day.”

Ted walked out of the doctors room and stuffed the bandages in his pocket. He found his way back into the waiting room.  He tried finding things to do to pass time but all of them reminded him of Emely. He couldn’t even get coffee without thinking of the first time they met…

***

“An order of black coffee!”

Emily and Ted reached for the cup at the same time.

“Oh I’m sorry.”

“No I’m sorry, you have it” Ted told her.

“Are you sure? Have you been waiting long?”

Ted shook his head, “I’ve got nowhere to go, you take it.”

She smiled, “Thank you.”

“Black coffee!”

“Oh, well there’s mine” Ted said laughing.

She smiled and looked up and down at him, “Hey this might be a little odd, but would you like to go hangout sometime? You seem like a nice guy.”

Ted was shocked but flattered, “Yeah, I would love that. But I am a serial killer, so I better not” he joked.

Emily could tell he was joking, so she played along, “Oh that’s so funny, so am I. We should work together.”

“Oh that would be great! So after we finish doing our business, I can take you out to a nice restaurant!”

“So it’s a date” Emely laughed.

Ted raised his coffee, “It’s a date.”

***

Ted squeezed his eyes, he could feel the sharp prick of tears behind his eyelids while the lump in his throat made it difficult to breathe around. He missed her so much and was so worried, what was he going to do without her in his life? It would be nothing without her in it. Seven years together and there’s a chance that he was going to lose his whole world, what is he going to do then? Who is he going to come home to after a long day at work? Or who is going to help him through the tough times? No one can get to him like Emely does. Emely is all he has and all he wants.

Ted felt a tear drip down on his cheek, he couldn’t hold it in anymore. The one he loved most was the one he may or may not lose. He felt his leg begin to shake up and down from the anxiety rising up. His heart began to race, just the thought of losing her made him anxious. 

The sliding door opened, two new male doctors came walking through and headed directly towards Ted. One of the doctors has something in his hands, was that a baby?

The first doctor came up to Ted and smiled, “They both made it through, your wife is in recovery.”

The doctor behind him walked forward and handed him his baby boy, “Congratulations Ted, you’re officially a father.”


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87 comments

Nirosha P
23:00 Jul 17, 2020

I LOVE this story. It made me really feel for the dad. Thank goodness both the baby and the mum made it through. :)

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04:29 Jul 18, 2020

Thank you!

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Samantha Davis
14:00 Jul 27, 2020

I really loved this story I liked the part where they were joking about being serial killers. If you can could you please check out my story? If so thanks!

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Deborah Angevin
23:01 Jul 15, 2020

Great opening and an even better ending. Loved it! Would you mind checking my recent story out, "Orange-Coloured Sky?" Thank you!

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02:47 Jul 17, 2020

Thank you so much and will do!

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D. Jaymz
17:46 Jul 08, 2020

Great use of the flashbacks so that you could hook us in at the beginning. The two characters, Ted and Emely, are interesting, with a good dove-tailing of personalities. Well done.

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21:11 Jul 08, 2020

Thank you!

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07:08 Jul 08, 2020

Awe, beautiful story.

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15:58 Jul 08, 2020

Thank you!

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19:40 Jul 07, 2020

Hey, great story here. Loved the happy ending.

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01:06 Jul 08, 2020

Thank you!

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Vimal Rao
05:45 Jul 07, 2020

Wow, brilliant way of writing. The best part is the happy ending. Hooked up to the story right from word one. Amazing!! Totally loved it.

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01:05 Jul 08, 2020

Thank you!

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03:53 Jul 07, 2020

Wow!!! This was an amazing read Angelina. I thoroughly enjoyed it. The narrative was gripping. Good luck and cheers! ✌️✌️

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01:05 Jul 08, 2020

Thank you so much!

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Courtney Stuart
20:52 Jul 05, 2020

hey, great job on this story! very emotional but also very sweet! keep up the great work! :)

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04:46 Jul 06, 2020

Thank you!

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Batool Hussain
15:13 Jul 05, 2020

Hello! A great story. Mind checking out my new story? Thanks.

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17:10 Jul 05, 2020

Yes of course! Thank you!

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Batool Hussain
17:11 Jul 05, 2020

You're welcome !

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Mm K
14:19 Jul 05, 2020

The beautiful story narrated as if it happened in your family or to your friends. Sorry if I am hurting your feeling, But great! Do keep at it Angelina

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17:08 Jul 05, 2020

Thank you so much! And no, you're are not hurting my feelings lol, Thank you for reading this tho!

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08:32 Jul 05, 2020

Great story!! :)

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17:05 Jul 05, 2020

Thank you!

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Grace M'mbone
07:34 Jul 05, 2020

Angelina once again I love how you write. Oh well, a few accidents do happen when a writer is typing but that didn't take away the fact that you got potential and you are exploiting it. Great work Angelina.

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17:04 Jul 05, 2020

Thank you so much, you're welcome to tell me what I should fix, it's been a huge help for those that have.

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Charles Stucker
06:28 Jul 05, 2020

Reminded me a bit of an old song "Don't take the girl." If you use a word processor, you can use the find function to replace Teds with Ted's. Because you only have one Ted, but Ted's mother appears several times. It's a lot easier than looking for every instance.

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17:03 Jul 05, 2020

Thank you so much. This helps a lot!

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Joseph Varkis
03:49 Jul 05, 2020

Well done! Loved the emotions. Needs a bit of editing. Typos Teds => Ted's Second last line >>"male doctor", "they both are it through" Just give it a few rereads, you'll figure it out.

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05:47 Jul 05, 2020

Thank you so much! Means a lot!

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Keith B.
04:07 Aug 05, 2020

sorry, spelled your name wrong in my previous message...

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16:55 Aug 05, 2020

LOL, its okay! :)

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Keith B.
04:06 Aug 05, 2020

Hi Angeline, so when writing flashbacks, try not to notify the audience that you're going into a flashback. You've written the story well enough to where the lines such as- 'Memories started to play in his mind...' or 'He couldn't even get coffee without thinking of the first time they met...' could be left out. Other than that, well done!

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16:54 Aug 05, 2020

Well thank you! helps me out a lot! I had no idea those could be left out.

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Glenn Martin
00:47 Aug 03, 2020

This was an amazing story. I really like the happy ending. This thing is very suspenseful it shows amazing qualities of writing. Keep it up I hope you write more stuff. This is one of the best stories I've read on reedsy.

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05:42 Aug 03, 2020

Thank you so much! ;)))

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Sarah 👑
00:38 Jul 29, 2020

YES! WHOO! They're alive! Great story by the way, really enjoyed it.

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00:49 Jul 29, 2020

Hehehe, yeah its a happy ending! No need for a heart to explode lol, glad you liked it!

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21:22 Jul 28, 2020

Amazing 🤩

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21:23 Jul 28, 2020

ThAnK yOu !!!!

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