A Mysterious Black Mask

Submitted for Contest #48 in response to: Write about a person who collects superhero comics.... view prompt

34 comments

Submitted on 07/01/2020

Categories: Mystery Funny

Stephanie grinned at her brother. "You're not even half close to doing it," she smirked.

Matt whined. "How do you do that? I wanna learn how to wear a cape like that too!" he wailed.

Stephanie shrugged. "I learned myself, Matt. If you really want to know where I learned how to do it, it's in my favourite superhero comic, Batman." she batted her eyelashes dreamily.

Matt rolled his eyes dramatically, "You and your romantic Batman. I don't want to read your stupid comics. They don't even make sense." he poohed, fluttering his pink tongue at his eldest sister.

"Well, you don't understand him then. You - you, don't understand anything jerk." she snapped, hugging her Batman comic closely to her chest.

Matt smiled. "You're honestly insane."

Stephanie plucked a grape off the fruit bowl and sniggered. "Since when am I not insane?"

~~~

"Mum! The latest Batman comic came out! I need to get it!" she yelled, as she skipped back from school.

Mrs Green smiled. "Keep your fingers crossed for Easter then." she winked.

"I'm getting it for Easter!" Stephanie whooped, yelling up for joy.

~~~

Dusk arrived and the glimmering early morning sun rays bathed Stephanie's room with light. There were shining Batman posters drooped in every inch of the room.

Her alarm clock whirred. Stephanie stirred, as she tossed and turned groggily. Her vision focused on an open comic staring fixedly at her on a table. She sat upright. She knew what day it was.

She had to find her basket. Last year, it was hidden in the most obvious place imaginable. Under her blankets. This year it proved to be in a much more difficult place.

"Matt! Wake up! It's Easter!"

Matt groaned. "Ugh, go back to sleep Stephanie!" he mumbled and tossed over, his blonde hair flapping overdramatically over his forehead.

Stephanie stifled a giggle. "Get up lazybones. First to find the basket wins!"

That was quite enough to make Matt sit up.

They raced over the house, checking and turning the house upside down.

"Matt! Stephanie! What on earth are you doing?" Mrs Green cried, glancing at the house.

They smiled feebly. "Looking for our baskets," Stephanie explained as she opened Matt's room door.

"Found mine!" Matt yelled, clutching a weaved, brown basket.

Stephanie groaned. "Ugh!"

She was getting frustrated by now. Where on earth was her basket?

She quickly opened her wardrobe. Getting an instinct, she opened the study table drawer that held her precious Batman comics.

There, in the jumbled mess of comics, stood a brave weaved basket with a toy bunny grinning goofily at her.

She tore it open on her bed. Out came an enormous chocolate bunny, chocolate eggs, her favourite sweets and jelly beans. But the bottom of the basket was all she was interested in.

The latest Batman comic.

~~~

Stephanie belly-flopped onto her bed and flipped open the comic.

Something slid off, a metal black mask fell into her outstretched bony arms. Stephanie gasped.

She peered suspiciously at it. A glistening, shiny black mask lay on her palms. A Batman mask? Since when did comics have masks?

It was probably an extra package that came with it, Stephanie thought excitedly.

Eagerly, she staggered over to her mirror and wrapped it on. "I look exactly like Batman!" she cried happily.

Satisfied, she skipped into the living room. "Mum! Look what the Easter Bunny brought me!" she yelled, clutching the black mask.

A smile crept up Mrs Greens face. Her back was faced towards Stephanie and she was seizing a frying pan. A flowered apron drooped around her waist and her legs were skinny and gaunt. "Let me guess, another Batman comic?" she giggled.

Stephanie shrugged it off. "Yeah, but there's something way cooler. I got a black Batman mask with it!" she exclaimed, holding up her mask proudly.

Mrs Greens lowered her frying pan. She massaged her chin. "I don't recall getting you a mask...oh. I mean, I'm not sure that the Easter bunny meant to give you a mask, honey." she frowned.

Stephanie sighed. "But he did! Look!"

Mrs Greens pondered over the black mask. She shrugged and resumed her cooking. "Well, I guess it was the latest edition then," she grinned.

~~~

The school bus honked. "See ya tomorrow both of you!" the bus driver called, winking.

Stephanie waved. "Bye Mrs Willow!"

Matt grunted and fiddled with his new toy car. "Hey you two, how was school eh?" Mrs Greens asked, setting a plate of apple slices down.

"Apple? Again?" Matt wailed. "I wanted a Chocokins Bar!"

Mrs Greens frowned. "Healthy first," she ordered.

"Mum, guess what! My friends got the latest comics too, and they didn't get the black mask! I was the only one with it! Besides, something strange happened in the locker room. I was glad nobody saw me, because you will never believe this but, I actually floated in mid-air for about ten seconds! I kept on going to the cubicles to try it! It was like I was Batman, Mum! I was really flying!"

Mrs Greens nearly fainted. She looked at her daughter. "Stephanie did you feel tired at school today?" she asked, concerned.

Stephanie shrugged. "A little, but that's not the point Mum! I literally flew like Batman!" she cried.

Mrs Greens nodded. "You probably fell, asleep honey. You were most likely dreaming," she replied in disbelief.

Stephanie groaned. "No Mum!" she yelled.

"Look, I'll show you!" she said confidently.

Stephanie pulled out the black shiny mask from her glittery, black, Batman backpack. She stripped it onto her face.

Stephanie closed her eyes deeply and inhaled softly. her eyebrows twisted, making her frown. Mrs Greens watched her daughter with interest. "Stephanie, it's - "

"Look, Mum!" Stephanie shrieked.

Her legs lifted off the ground and a black, light began to surround her as she took off. Stephanie spread her hands like a bird and she began to flutter excitedly around the room.

Matt and Mrs Greens jaws' dropped. Mrs Greens was in utter astonishment. Matt gaped at his older sister. "No fair Mum! I want to fly too!" he wailed.

Stephanie's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Come and catch me!"

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34 comments

Zilla Babbitt
12:34 Jul 04, 2020

You asked me to read, so here I am. Very cute! I like how the ending never expressly states what really happened. At the beginning I expected Matt to be the collector because little boys seem to like comics more than little girls, but nice flip! Things to work on: Big one is dialogue tags. You use sniggered or ordered or yelled or something else almost every time. Start cutting these and allowing the actual dialogue to SHOW what the character might be doing with his voice. Lesser problem: (And I'm no superhero expert) but does Batman's ma...

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Niveeidha P
01:35 Jul 05, 2020

Haha, I tried to alter that a bit. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and commenting, I will take in all of your feedback and try to improve next time!

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Zilla Babbitt
12:20 Jul 05, 2020

You're very welcome!

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Niveeidha P
22:40 Jul 05, 2020

:)

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Roshna Rusiniya
03:22 Jul 03, 2020

This is a very cute story. I really enjoyed it! Second one this week? You really are a superhero! Ha ha. I know how I managed to submit one. It wasn’t easy at all.

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Niveeidha P
06:36 Jul 03, 2020

Haha, thank you so much Roshna, this is actually my first time submitting a second story for the prompt....it wasn't easy..... 😀😊😅 Though I might be busier than normal...haha.

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Nirosha P
08:43 Jul 01, 2020

I like your idea in this story. It's really creative! Good job! :)

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Niveeidha P
09:19 Jul 01, 2020

Thank you Nirosha!

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Deborah Angevin
11:34 Jul 09, 2020

A story with beautifully described details; loved reading it! Would you mind checking my recent story out too? Thank you :)

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Niveeidha P
22:46 Jul 09, 2020

Hi Deborah, thank you so much for the comment, really appreciate it...of course! I would love to check out your stories too!

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Lavanya Saxena
11:46 Jul 08, 2020

Loved the story! I have never liked super hero stories until today. Every little sprinkle of detail is captured, which is astonishingly pleasant. I loved how Stephanie changed her appearance towards the end! Very beautifully described. The amount of adverbs you used were over flooding! I think you really rushed towards the end of the story. The ending would have been better than it already is if, you had read it and edited it. Try to slow things down a little bit and minimize the rush. However, your stories are amazing as always! 🤩They...

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Niveeidha P
12:41 Jul 08, 2020

Hi Lavanya, thank you so much for reading my stories, and leaving feedback! I can't edit it no longer as it has already been approved by the Reedsy Community, but I will edit my next story that will be coming up hopefully!

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Anika !
02:25 Jul 06, 2020

hi i really liked your writing so good would please check out my first story(if u want to) thxxx

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Niveeidha P
06:31 Jul 07, 2020

Thank you for your compliment Anika, of course! I would love to check out your stories!

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Tvisha Yerra
20:07 Jul 05, 2020

Absolutely love it! It was such a fun and cute story, really made my day! Also, the adverbs were perfect. :p Have a great day!

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Niveeidha P
22:45 Jul 05, 2020

Hi, thank you so much, Tvisha! This really meant a lot to me! Have a great day! 😊

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Alton Rook
12:15 Jul 05, 2020

Hi Niveeidha, Nice story, but a few suggestions- Too many adverbs, honestly too many! Dial down on the telling-'she was getting frustrated now'. Show her getting frustrated. Writers do this when they are in a hurry. We have a tendency to rush to the end. Don't do this. Read it as many times as you can before posting. You are the first reader and the first editor. A lot of mistakes can be avoided. The whole story was loose, as if you were rushing to finish it. The dialogue felt weak. I say this because I make the same mistakes. Just ch...

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Niveeidha P
12:19 Jul 05, 2020

Hi Alton, thank you so much for pointing out my mistakes, I really felt like you read my mind, and I was actually rushing to finish this, I'll try to edit this story and redo all the parts I had gotten mistakes in. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave in lengthy feedback! It's very much appreciated!

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Alton Rook
13:58 Jul 05, 2020

Not a problem Niveeidha

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Niveeidha P
22:40 Jul 05, 2020

:)

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Evelyn ⭐️
16:13 Jul 04, 2020

Hi Niveeidha, I haven’t left feedback on your stories in a while, and you are a super talented writer! So I decided to come check out your new storie, and give some feedback! First off super hero stories have got to be my favorite stories ever! You did a great job with this one! I am a big fan of Batman myself!😂 I think throughout the story you did a good job adding sprinkles of detail here and there, which made it more pleasant to read! I don’t have any critiques for you today because this story was probably one of my favorites! Nicely...

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Niveeidha P
01:46 Jul 05, 2020

Thank you so much, Evelyn. Thank you for taking your time to read my story, it's very much appreciated. If you DO have time, do check out Nirosha P's stories too, she joined Reedsy lately, she's in my following 😉

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Evelyn ⭐️
15:52 Jul 05, 2020

Okay, I can't wait!

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Niveeidha P
22:41 Jul 05, 2020

:)

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Batool Hussain
07:05 Jul 04, 2020

Hello! Here as per your request. This is a really great story. My favourite part was probably Stephanie changing her appearance towards the end. So beautifully described! Good job:)

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Niveeidha P
01:27 Jul 05, 2020

Thank you so much for commenting on my story Batool, it is much appreciated :)

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Batool Hussain
05:32 Jul 05, 2020

You're welcome!

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Niveeidha P
05:40 Jul 05, 2020

:D

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Batool Hussain
06:40 Jul 06, 2020

Do you mind checking out my new story? I would love to have your views on it;)

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Niveeidha P
06:35 Jul 07, 2020

Of course Batool! I'll check it out now! Can't wait! :)

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Phil Manders
06:47 Jul 02, 2020

Hi Niveeidha I thought I would check out one of your stories 😀 It’s good! If I was looking to be constructive one tiny detail stood out a couple of times. You wrote. “Matt rolled his eyes dramatically” I don’t think the word dramatically is needed I would have got it if you just said he rolled his eyes. So you sort of doubled up on the information. I hope that makes sense🤔. Great job!

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Niveeidha P
07:01 Jul 02, 2020

Hi Phil, thank you so much for the feedback! It really helps me improve, and I will keep that in mind :)

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Khizra Aslam
15:29 Jul 10, 2020

A cute story, Especially the ending, when Stephanie try to convince her mother that she can fly❤ Keep writing ❤

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Niveeidha P
22:40 Jul 10, 2020

Hi Khizra, thank you so much for taking the time to read my story! Have a great day!

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