Mistakes

Submitted for Contest #45 in response to: Write a story about change.... view prompt

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Wouldn’t it be amazing if we get to undo our life’s biggest mistake? This story is about a girl who got the opportunity to do so but the consequences weren’t that great.... 


It was a cold morning of the month of December. Everyone in the college seemed to be very anxious including me, after all, today we were going to find out that who will get the scholarship to the most prestigious law school? Even though I was quite sure that I will be one of them.


You must be wondering who am I? My name is Anna Millers. I always dreamt of becoming a lawyer, wearing a black coat, standing in front of the judge and protecting those people who were innocent. Coming from a middle class family,the first step to fulfill my dream was to get a final admit to the Harvard Law school with a full scholarship.


Every year the entrance exam for admission to Harvard Law college happens in 2nd week of November. Even though, I didn’t study all the topics as I was spending time with my new friend, Cara, still when I was in the examination hall, taking the exam, the questions seemed easy and I knew the answer to most of the them.


The D-day came and the result was displayed on the college notice board. I struggled to move forward, turning aside a bunch of students, to see my name and I couldn't believe. My name was not in the list. I was shell-shocked and realized that I failed the exam. Tears started to roll down my eyes. How was it possible? I am the best student in my school I thought. my body felt heavy and I dragged myself to somehow reach my home. As soon as I saw my mother, I hugged her and she said, “Let me guess, you failed the exam, right? “Yes, but how did you figured out?” I asked. She looked lovingly towards me and replied, “I saw you spending so much time with Cara and could see that you weren’t focusing on studies. You got complacent and thought that even without studying you can pass the exam but that will never happen.”


I burst into tears. I wanted to say something to her but couldn't. Seeing me like this she made me sit on the couch and said, “See Anna, in our life we make lot of blunders, some are big and some are small but we have to move on and try again. If you will keep on thinking that you failed, you will never be able to move on and there will be absolutely no chance that you will become a lawyer one day. There are so many other law schools which are also good and you can still apply." “Hmm you are right", I said. My mom passed me a smile. I continued, “But I want to ask you something. You said that we all have done mistakes right? so what is your life’s biggest mistake?”


She looked sideways and sadness floated on her face. I didn’t expect her to answer my question but she said, “Just like you want to become a lawyer, I always wanted to become a fashion designer. I could never muster courage to share my dream with my parents. After my 12th exams, one fine day after lot of hesitation, I told them that I want to become a fashion designer. My father got furious and forced me to get married. I wasn't brave enough to protest and I regret that till date".


Believe me your dad is not a bad person but my dreams were very precious to me. I always feel that if I had showed courage that day and protested then perhaps I could have applied for a fashion designing course. Who knows, I could have got selected and realized my dream of becoming a fashion designer. One should at least take a chance. But the damage is already done and all this is past now. I have moved on. Okay, let’s stop discussing about such depressing topics, go and get changed.


I felt very sad for my mom and she is right that I should move on. I decided that I will not give up. I will find a way to reverse what I did. I know it sounds insane but I searched on google that ‘How to reverse the biggest mistake of one's life?' but all I got on the internet was self awareness books and articles but eventually I saw a link with the heading ‘Click here if you want to reverse your life’s biggest mistake.’


I was skeptical that clicking on the link might crash my laptop but I still clicked. When the website opened, it was mentioned that ‘Write your life’s biggest mistake in the given box below’ and I did what it said. When I pressed enter, there came a reply that ‘Your mistake has been reversed’. But then I doubted that maybe this whole website is a scam as I didn’t notice any change in my life. Few days later,my phone rang up. When I picked up the phone, I could hear a female voice. She said, “I am talking from the Harvard Law School. We are sorry to reach you this late but there was a printing error, you have actually passed the exam and have got the full scholarship of Harvard Law School.” I was stunned. I didn't even say thank you to her and immediately disconnected the phone. I was sure that this happened because of the website and that’s when I thought about my mom. I thought that if my mom writes her mistake too then her mistake too will get reversed.


I immediately send that link to my mom and then after changing my clothes, I went downstairs. I saw my mom sitting in front of her desktop, she looked towards me and asked, “ have you sent this link to me? She continued,I have opened it and did what it said but what was it all about?”


“Mom, it’s a fantastic website. You know I wrote my biggest mistake in the box and guess what today I got a call saying that there was an error and I got the scholarship!”. She replied, “Really! That’s fab. I am so happy for you Anna.” I asked her, “What did you write?”. she replied, “I wrote that not becoming a fashion designer was my life’s biggest mistake.”

I told her that “I knew it that you will write that , now the website will reverse it and you will become a fashion argh....”


“What’s wrong Anna?” my mom asked looking a little concerned. I replied, “My whole body is feeling excruciating pain. Can you get me a glass of water?” I requested. “Sure”, after saying that my mom rushed to the kitchen and then suddenly my body started to pain even more intensely. That’s when the thought struck that if the website has reversed my mom's mistake and my mom has becomes a fashion designer. Then may be, my mom actually never married my dad and I was not born. That’s when I started to experience the changes. The interior of the house started changing. The house was tastefully done and filled with expensive furniture. But the most important change, my skin was getting lighter. I was disappearing.


In front of me emerged a dining table where my mom was sitting, wearing a beautiful dress, and in front of her was sitting a man, who was definitely not my dad. I could also see two kids sitting on side chairs. They were having dinner and were talking and laughing. I tried to call my mom but she couldn't hear my loud cries. I decided to go near her but my body became so feeble that every muscle in my body started to ache. I couldn't walk and fell on the floor. My skin was getting lighter and lighter and I disappeared....,,



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67 comments

Jane Andrews
10:58 Jun 20, 2020

In terms of content, I thought this had a lot going for it. I liked the way you ended it - it's actually quite tragic that your character achieves her dream of a scholarship to Harvard but then loses her own life when she tries to help her mother also achieve the life she wanted. Writing-wise, it needs a bit of tidying up; but if English isn't your first language, you have done an excellent job. I have a degree in French but I certainly couldn't write a creative piece in French as well as you have written this one in English. As an English ...

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Tim Law
21:34 Jun 19, 2020

Well done Mekah. Thank you for inviting me to your profile and sharing your story. Yes there are a few mistakes but the story is strong and also cleverly written. Try with your next story using more full stops. This will make the story easier for us to read.

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18:36 Jul 04, 2020

Haha, I'm a bit late getting back to you, but better late than never! I really like this story! Like others have said, there are some mistakes but I'm guessing those are translating errors. I really like how what looks like the right thing to do (achieve your dream from so long ago) has unforeseen worse consequences. Because sometimes your worst mistakes can lead to your greatest victory. Awesome!

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Samantha Davis
17:11 Jul 01, 2020

Great story!! Your English needed a little cleaning up, but it was good.

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Cam Croz
13:43 Jun 29, 2020

I love the concept of this story! It is very interesting and fun to read. With just a little bit more work on your writing, your stories will be stellar! Liek Z. H. said, Showing and not Telling is always a good rule to go by! Keep up the good work.

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Felicity Pathis
12:06 Jun 29, 2020

Oh my goodness, I never thought that would happen! That is a great plot twist and it’s so wonderfully written. I think everyone has a mistake they want to undo so this story is very relatable. Good work!

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Khadija S.
10:05 Jun 29, 2020

Interesting story, retells the age old moral, " Be careful what you wish for. " There are a few grammatically incorrect parts inside though, so it may help to have someone else proofread, maybe? And a few word choices that don't quite make sense, for example, " But then I doubted that maybe this whole website is a scam as I didn’t notice any change in my life. " Doubted, that it was a scam, makes it sound like the narrator believed in its credibility, than otherwise. And the dialogue might need a bit of tweaking, to make it sound a bit more ...

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Gomathi Sridevi
08:07 Jun 29, 2020

I really appreciate what you did in this story. A very nice story with an awesome ending.

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Ella Harban
06:36 Jun 29, 2020

This was an amazing story, Mehak. I was hooked from the beginning. You had a few grammar mistakes but I don't think they mattered very much. Have a great day and stay safe.

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Rose Bingely
16:41 Jun 27, 2020

This was a really good idea for a story! It was thought out, just a bit choppily written. Parts when the mom talked didn't have quotation marks, it was pretty hard to follow at points, and this sentence didn’t really make sense: “ I wasn't brave enough to protest and I regret that till date”

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Greg Gillis
23:11 Jun 25, 2020

It was an interesting story. As a suggestion, I recommend that you download the free app, Grammarly to assist you with punctuation and grammar.

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Harken Void
09:28 Jun 25, 2020

Great story! I really liked the twist ending, did not expect that to happen. The concept was very interesting (as we so often type every question that pops into our minds on Google and expect a solution right away). Very cool story :) As far as editing goes, yes, it could use some finishing touches. I noticed the " " sign missing on some dialogue and a few typos. Also, when writing dialogue, it's very helpful to put each character's sentence into a new line, so that it's clear who said what. Technicality aside, well written!

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Khizra Aslam
08:02 Jun 25, 2020

Your story is really interesting .... keep it up girl❤

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Z. H.
14:15 Jun 24, 2020

The idea is excellent. The story was an emotional rollercoaster - which takes a lot of work to achieve. I love how you said "the sadness floated on her face" - it's a wonderful metaphor, but it'd be better if you could SHOW and not TELL. Another example of you telling is when you said, "I was shell-shocked". A way of showing sadness could be, "my eyes threaten to tear up" or "my heart felt so heavy, I began to sag". Try SHOWING and not telling in your other pieces. Throughout the story you switch between present tense and past tense, ...

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16:02 Jun 23, 2020

This was a enjoyable read! The end of the story surprised me(in a good way). Great story!

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Jn Park
14:43 Jun 23, 2020

Oh I loved the Twist! First I thought it was just a happy story but there was an unexpected ending. The suggestion is that you should fix some grammer mistakes and add some interesting descriptions. But altogether an amazing story! The ending really stroke me hard, and made me think deeply about what would be real "greatest mistake" our protagonist has made.

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Sophia Rose
16:25 Jun 22, 2020

Interesting concept with a tragic twist at the end

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Lynn Penny
19:01 Jun 19, 2020

Wow. I loved this, the concept was awesome. What a wonderful story about change. Totally outside the box.

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Deborah Angevin
11:22 Jul 31, 2020

A well-written story (especially the plot twist!). I won't comment about grammar and English (I feel you, I have the exact same problem!). But, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it :D Would you mind checking my recent story out, "A Very, Very Dark Green"? Thank you!

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Grace M'mbone
08:17 Jul 28, 2020

Mehak this was a beautiful story. I liked it and I liked the twist. I really didn't see it coming that she would have to disappear upon reversing her mom's mistake. Great job you did here. It would be an honour to me if you took a look at just one of my stories. Once again, you did a great job.

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