Dog Fight

Submitted for Contest #41 in response to: Write about an animal who causes a huge problem.... view prompt

39 comments

Crystal woke up to her dog barking, again! She got dressed and walked downstairs to find her mother already making breakfast. Her dog was a chiwawa so it was always making noise. Crystal didn’t mind, she was just happy she had a dog! Every morning Crystal, her mother, and Charlie (the chiwawa) would hop in the car and go to school. So that’s what they did. Crystal got on her shoes and got in the car with Charlie. When they drove by different neighborhoods, Crystal always felt sad because she saw everyone playing with their siblings and getting ready for school, but Crystal didn’t have any siblings. She barely ever got to see her dad.

Crystal tried to get these things off her mind, she had a dog and that’s all she needed. Once they arrived at school, Crystal saw a bunch of boys with their dogs outside. This was the group that she tried to avoid at all times. But this morning when Crystal got out so did Charlie. He started barking up a storm at the other dogs. Crystal ran after him and tried to control him, but it was too late. One of the boys walked up to Crystal and said, “Is your dog trying to make fun of my dog?” This was Crystal’s least favorite boy in the entire grade, Tyler Beckom. 

“No, um.. He’s just playing with them!” That’s all Crystal could think of, because she knew that her dog wasn’t the nicest to other dogs. Tyler sneered at her dog, and so did the other’s. 

“Well you know, my dog is twice the size of yours, so if you wanted a dog fight you could have just said so!” Crystal didn’t know what a dog fight was, but she knew it wasn’t good. She was relieved to hear the bell. She tried to run to the front door of the school as fast as she could but before she could escape the boy called out to her.

“Tomorrow, five p.m. Meet me here and the dogs can fight it out.” Crystal turned around and saw the boys giving each other high fives. She couldn’t stand these jerks, Charlie could take that dog, even if it was much bigger. She gave a quick nod, and ran into the school. Charlie knew the way home from school, he was a smart dog. 

Crystal tried to pay attention in class, but all she could think about was her little dog getting hurt! Her dog was the only person that could comfort her when she needed it most. If he got hurt she didn’t know what she’d do. 

School ended shortly, and Crystal’s mother arrived. Crystal’s thoughts were taking over her brain, she couldn’t even hear her mother when she asked ‘how was your day?’

“Did you hear me? Cyrstal? How was your day?” Crystal looked up, trying not to cry, and responded with a simple ‘good.’

When they got home Crystal ran up to her room, and found Charlie on her bed. She went over and hugged him tight. “Why’d you have to go barking at them! You could have barked at any person in the world, but you choose the meanest boys in school!” Crystal started crying. Images of her dog getting hurt fluttered her head. She jumped onto her bed, and covered her face with her pillow.

About five minutes later, her phone started to buzz. She ran over to answer it. “Crystal? Um..hi. My name is Kevin Rellinger. I’m friends with Tyler.”

 Crystal was about to hang up, but the boy insisted for her to stay on. “Please, just listen to me! Tyler has been taking it too far lately. Okay ya sure he is mean, but before it was just a couple of little practical jokes. Now he is putting animals in danger? I really don’t want to be a part of that. I’m calling because I want to help you with a plan, a plan to win the dog fight!”

Crystal knew Kevin, they had been going to school together since kindergarten. He used to be a good kid, until second grade. Tyler was new, Kevin didn’t have many friends, so he decided to become friends with Tyler. Tyler was always creating trouble. The teacher’s even created a new punishment just for him. It was called the Tyler Twirler. The teachers got a rope and tied him to a chair, so he couldn’t do anything bad, sure it was mean but it worked! 

Crystal didn’t know if she could trust Kevin, but what choice did she have? She told him to come over to her house as fast as he could. He arrived in about fifteen minutes. He rang the doorbell, and before Crystal could open it, her mother got there. “Oh hi! Are you a friend of Crystal’s?! Come in, come in!” 

Kevin walked in and Crystal came down the stairs. “Hi, come up to my room and we can talk,” Crystal emphasised talk, so Kevin knew what she was talking about.

“Ok, well you kids have fun!” Crystal’s mom was so excited to have a person over, since Crystal didn’t invite many people over. 

Tyler and Crystal walked up to her room, and sat on her bed. “So, are you serious about helping me? Or are you just some spy for Tyler?” Crystal said Tyler with disgust.

“I promise I’m here to help you. I’m done being friends with Tyler. All I wanted to do was go to the movie’s, but no, he just had to start a dog fight!” Kevin seemed pretty upset about it. Crystal had to believe him. She had to save her dog.

“Ok what’s the plan?” Kevin shared his plan with Crystal and they were ready! Crystal knew (hoped) this plan would work. Kevin went home because they decided they needed a good night sleep before the epic battle. Crystal was still scared deep down about the problem her dog had caused, but with Kevin’s plan she highly doubted she could fail. Crystal tucked herself in, since her mother was busy at work. She thought to herself, it was kind of nice to have a person come over to her house. It had been awhile. No one wanted to hang out with the bookworm of the grade. She had never told anyone, but she had secretly had a crush on Kevin in sixth grade. That was in the past though, wasn’t it? She was in the seventh grade now, she didn’t have time to think about old feelings. After all these thoughts filled her head that night, she had no trouble falling asleep.  

Crystal didn’t wake up to the sound of her dog. Instead she woke up to her alarm clock. That was the first! She was ready for an exciting day, a battle! She got dressed, did her hair, and went downstairs to find Charlie. He was still asleep! Crystal did tell him to sleep in, so he won’t get tired. She never knew her dog could obey so well! Or maybe he was just tired. Crystal ran over and grabbed one of his chew toys. She squeezed it, and Charlie woke up immediately. Crystal laid out Charlie’s breakfast, and ate her own. Her mother was still at work, she often stayed overnight to help the patients. She would have to walk, again. THis could help her get fired up for the big battle!

Once she got to school, she saw Tyler waiting outside the school with Kevin and a couple other boys. Kevin nodded at her, and gave a smile. “Well, well, well you actually showed up! Is your little midget chiwawa gonna fight or just whimper!” He turned to his friends and gave them high-fives and laughed. Crystal ignored him and walked to class, she could beat him, right?

School was over in a blur. All she could think about was the fight. It was almost time, she had just enough time to go home and get Charlie and then come back. Instead of walking home she ran, she wouldn’t be late for it. When she got home, Charlie was barking. He followed her out the door, and they ran back to school.

Tyler was waiting outside with his german shepherd, who was named Alpha. “You ready?” Tyler used a harsh tone, that sounded like ‘if you're not the dog will beat you up instead!’

“I’m ready, and so is Charlie!” Crystal didn’t intend for this to come out harshly, but it did. Kevin looked at her with a surprised smile. Tyler counted to three and his dog started barking, it had started. Crystal and Kevin’s plan was starting! First Crystal ran down the street ahead of Charlie, and waited. Then Charlie took off with Alpha not far behind. Charlie may have been small, but he was fast! Once Charlie got near to Crystal, he made a dead stop and moved out of the way. ALpha came rushing down the street and couldn’t stop in time. That’s where Crystal was waiting, where she had set up a cage. Alpha ran so fast that he ran straight into the cage, and just in time Crystal closed and locked the door. 

Charlie and Crystal ran back to where Tyler and the boys were waiting. Their mouths were dropped open. “I’ll give you your dog back if you stop bullying innocent animals and people! Do we have a deal?” Crystal said in her sharpest voice.

Tyler hesitated and then mumbled, “Fine.” Kevin ran over to Crystal and hugged her. Crystal couldn’t help but smile. 

From then on Tyler stopped being a bully, and Charlie and Alpha became friends. As for Kevin and Crystal they stayed best friends, maybe even a little bit more than that. 


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39 comments

Inactive User
19:05 May 20, 2020

Amazing story! You are an incredible writer! When I was your age, I could only write a sentence. Keep writing:)

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Evelyn Cloonan
19:08 May 20, 2020

LOL, thank you! You too!

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Inactive User
19:14 May 20, 2020

:)

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18:17 May 21, 2020

This is a very funny story really😂. But I like how you subtly passed the message of stopping animal cruelty. Tyler is a very 'direct' sort of person too. Nice work. Keep writing.

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Evelyn Cloonan
20:08 May 21, 2020

Thank you so much!

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08:46 May 24, 2020

Welcome

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20:46 May 20, 2020

This is really good, especially for someone as young as you. I doubt I'd have ever been able to write something like this when I was your age(but I'm still young, though😂 Just a few years older than you) However, I wanted to point a few things out. I feel you should make good use of pronouns in your writing. For instance, I was always seeing Crystal, Crystal, Crystal. You could've replaced it with she. Also, it's spelt 'chihuahua' and pronounced 'chiwawa'. I also loved those dogs when I was younger. Overall, this is a really cute ...

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Evelyn Cloonan
21:05 May 20, 2020

Thank you so much! Also thank you for the feedback, it always helps me improve my writing! :)

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Sue Moreines
00:02 May 20, 2020

Evelyn, First I want to thank you for reading and "liking" my story. As a result, of course I was going to reciprocate and read and comment on yours. Second, you are an incredible writer! At first, I was not happy that your title was "Dog Fight", because I'm a real "dog" person and such interactions upset me greatly. However, your first paragraph made me smile, and I couldn't wait to read on. Crystal and Charlie's relationship couldn't be better, and I became worried when Tyler challenged Charlie to a dog fight. You were able to m...

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Evelyn Cloonan
00:36 May 20, 2020

Thank you SO much! Also I am a huge dog lover myself, so I wanted to make sure no dog would get hurt. Luckily that plan came to mind, and it worked out great! Once again thanks for reading!

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Sue Moreines
00:44 May 20, 2020

You're very welcome Evelyn! You definitely have a future as a writer. As for playing for the WNBA, you're probably an excellent athlete already, so the possibility is good. You have a bright future ahead. Best of luck to you! Sue

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Evelyn Cloonan
14:13 May 20, 2020

Wow! Thank you so much, Sue! I really appreciate that!

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Sue Moreines
14:22 May 20, 2020

You are very welcome! Sue

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Taryn Farris
16:42 May 22, 2020

This was super cute. Great job

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Evelyn Cloonan
17:52 May 22, 2020

thanks!😁

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Scott Smock
12:46 May 22, 2020

That was a very well written story, mate!

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Evelyn Cloonan
14:52 May 22, 2020

Ha, thank you!

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Madison Healey
17:39 May 20, 2020

Love the story! The scenes are so clear!

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Evelyn Cloonan
17:42 May 20, 2020

Thanks!

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Tvisha Yerra
17:19 May 19, 2020

Love your story! But try writing in first person, I think it will suit you better.

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Evelyn Cloonan
18:05 May 19, 2020

Thank you and I prefer writing in first person, but I was trying something new! :)

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Zsofia Toth
05:36 May 18, 2020

This is such a cute story! Love the stlye you write in :)

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Evelyn Cloonan
13:04 May 18, 2020

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!

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A. y. R
06:36 May 16, 2020

I just love your writing style as a whole! Couple of tenses to still edit here and there. So many writers find it a struggle to use the right words and descriptions to create a scene, yet you make it look so easy! You've really mastered that!

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Evelyn Cloonan
14:13 May 16, 2020

Oh thank you so much! That means so much to me!

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02:24 May 15, 2020

Evelyn! This was such a sweet story! Other than a couple of spots where you needed to add commas, I don't believe there were any mistakes. But, in the future, maybe instead of saying "Crystal was scared", show the reader how she was scared. Make sense? If not, I'm sure there's something on Google that can help. I've been experimenting with show-not-tell, too. Sorry for the long comment. Keep writing and stay safe! -Brooke

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Evelyn Cloonan
13:21 May 15, 2020

Thanks Brooke! Sometimes I forget about the show not tell, but thanks for reminding me! Also we are getting a puppy black lab!

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13:50 May 15, 2020

You're welcome, and yay! I'm so happy for you. What are you going to name him/her?

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Evelyn Cloonan
14:07 May 15, 2020

It's gonna be a girl and we are deciding between Missy, Kiwi, or Bubbles! Do you like any of those?

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15:02 May 15, 2020

I love all of them! I think Kiwi or Bubbles. Maybe Kiwi, since it's such an odd (but cute) name. What are you thinking?

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Evelyn Cloonan
15:05 May 15, 2020

I liked Kiwi too! I thought it was kind of funny and cute! We are supposed to get her on July 2nd, but we'll see! I can't wait!

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