29 comments

Submitted on 05/14/2020

Categories: Fantasy

Ava unfolded, and folded the brochure again, and again. Welcome to Celtic Asylum! The curly lettering read. Ava crumpled the brochure, and tossed it at the trash can. It hit off the side, and plopped to the ground defiantly. She sighed, and leaned back on the metal bench. She stared at the white walls, and ticking clock. She balled up her hands in fists, and dug her nails into her dark skin. She abruptly stood up, as a nurse walked into the room.


“How is she?” Was the first thing Ava asked. The nurse sighed, and rubbed her hands together. “She is not very well. She starts to scream when our doctors ask if she wants anything.” Ava sighed. Her sister had been driven insane after her parents died in a car crash.


“Can I see her?” The nurse looked hesitant, then shrugged. “Sure, but try not to make eye contact.” Ava got up slowly, and grabbed the balled-up brochure. As she walked down the long white hallways, she glanced into other rooms. She saw a man staring at the clock that was in every single room, muttering to himself, while making furious hand gestures. As she glanced into one room, she almost fainted. She swears she saw herself in a white bed, screaming, while hiding her face in her hands. Ava shuddered, as she walked into the last room, of the hallway.


She saw her sister muttering to herself. “Annabelle,” The nurse gently whispers. Annabelle whipped her head to face Ava, then started to twitch. She then collapsed on the bed snoring. “I’ll give you to some time on your one,” Whispered the nurse. Ava nodded, then sat down on the edge of the bed. She heard a pattering of footsteps, the turned around.


She saw the most peculiar thing she had ever seen in her life. It was a fox with three tails. Its fur was crystals, and it had extremely long ears. It stared at her with huge, clear unblinking eyes. At that moment her sister woke up.


“Y-you!” She gasped at the creature, almost sounding normal. The creature blinked, then Annabelle fell asleep once more. “W-what are you?” Ava stammered.


“I am Unum Tenebris. I can make any wish come true.” Ava stared at it in awe, then grabbed the balled-up brochure, as if to use it as a weapon. Ava then sighed, and lowered her hand. Her conscience perked up. Ava remembered what she learned in school. Careful what you wish for.


“Can you make my parents alive, and help my sister.” Unum Tenebris almost smiled. “Yes,” it said. Its voice was like water over rocks, and it whisked its crystal tail. Ava felt the weirdest sensation, then everything went dark.


Ava blinked heavily twice, and opened her eyes wide. She was in a park, the flowers curling up the bench. Celtic Park. Four hours before her parents died, Ava remembered. She shivered.

 

This must be a wacky dream. I must have fallen asleep in the waiting room! Unum Tenebris was at her feet. “Careful,” It said. “We don’t have much.” Ava nodded slowly.


Unum Tenebris glared at her. “What are you waiting for! Go fix your faults!” My faults?! Ava ran to the direction of her house. Her long legs creating a smooth stride. She stopped abruptly as she reached the red brick house, that called home. She tip-toed up the stairs, and looked inside. She saw herself sitting on the window ledge, reading out loud to her sister. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Her sisters favorite. She looked behind herself, and saw her parents drinking tea, and watching the news. She felt someone grasp her hand. “I know who you are, and I know what you’re doing.” She turned to see an old woman. Her wrinkly hands were clasped onto Ava’s hand.


“Come my dear.” Ava glanced around, then shrugged, and followed the women. As she closed the door behind her the women started to talk. “That creature, is bad.” Ava looked out the window, and saw Unum Tenebris sitting on the wooden bench in the park, with the flowers curling up its side.


“Listen I don’t know who you are, but I have to go…” The lady laughed, “Unum Tenebris is tricking you.” She then jabbed a finger at her chest, “I am you.” She said jabbing her finger at Ava.


“And unless you stop listening to Unum Tenebris, this is going to keep repeating itself. Unum Tenebris, stands for “dark one” in Latin.” Ava blinked at her, confused. “I never took Latin.” The lady smiled at her.


“You will in college.” Ava glanced at her watch. “This is probably all just a dream, and I really have to go!” The lady stared at her in fear.


“Don’t listen to Unum Tenebris!” She grabbed her arm. Ava pulled free, and ran out the door. She saw herself skip out of her house, to the park. Ava pulled open the heavy door, and walked inside. “Ava! Didn’t you just leave? Wait, did you change?” Her father squinted at her.


“Um Dad, can we just stay home today, and have a family bonding night? We don’t need to go to Gramma’s.” He laughed. “Sorry hon, but not today.” He ruffled her hair. Ava couldn’t take it.


“Dad you have to listen! I’m from the future, and you’re going to die in a car crash!” He dad blinked at her.


 “Honey... did you watch too much TV today?” Ava threw up her arms in frustration. “No!!!” Her dad took a deep breath. “I want you to go to bed. Get some rest.” Ava glanced at the clock. She only had one hour before her time ran up. She darted upstairs into her sister room. Annabelle was laying on her bed, staring at the celling.


“Annabelle, I know you aren’t going to believe me, but I’m from the future, and this creature called Unum Tenebris brought me here. You’re going to go crazy after Mom and Dad die in a car crash. Please believe me.” Ava glanced at her sister, who hadn’t answered or moved.


“Annabelle?” She crept across the bed. Her sister was staring at the celling blank-eyed. Her eyes stayed clear for a second longer, then she woke up. “I just had the weirdest dream.”


Ava woke up in a white room with a ticking clock on the wall. She sat up on a white bed. Wait…what!!!! She a file on the desk next to her bed. She picked it up.

 

Ava Monsoon. Gone insane after parent’s death. Sister is also in Celtic Asylum. Ava shivered. This couldn’t be happening. That meant her parents were still dead, and she hadn’t fixed anything. She read the file further more. Parents dropped her off on the way to a relative’s house. Claimed she said she was from the future. Oh no. Ava saw Unum Tenebris staring at her through the window, almost smirking. His unblinking clear eyes penetrating into her dark coco eyes. She screamed at it. A nurse walked in.


“Hello Ava! Is there anything I can do for you?” Ava screamed, and buried her hands in her face. She then looked up, and she could she herself looking horrified right at her, from across the hall. This couldn’t be happening. It was what the old lady said, history repeated itself over, and over again. A voice like the breeze over leaves whispered to her. Careful what you wish for.



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29 comments

14:03 May 24, 2020

Hello everyone!!! This was a very fun piece to write!!! I hope you enjoy it too! Thanks again!-Avery

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17:50 May 20, 2020

This story rocks! I loved it, and keep on writing!!

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17:55 May 20, 2020

Wow thanks Johanna! I appreciate it!

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17:55 May 20, 2020

Thanks!

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17:56 May 20, 2020

No problem!

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Hailey S.
14:38 May 20, 2020

I love this story! Very unique idea and very well executed. I've only been on reedsy a couple weeks but this is probably my favorite thing I've read so far! Here's a tip if you're interested: I would recommend looking into getting Grammarly. It's free to download online and you can run your stories through it and it will point out any minor spelling or grammar mistakes. I recently started using it and it's helped a lot! I think it could be helpful for you too. I don't have anyone to proofread my stories and sometimes I miss things, so I'v...

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14:39 May 20, 2020

Wow I have heard of Grammarly too! I will look into it! Thanks for the feedback!

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14:45 May 20, 2020

Thanks so much, I just got it, and I'm working on my story

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Emily Li
11:55 May 19, 2020

I like this story lots of detail it is starting to inspire me to write a story a better story.

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11:56 May 19, 2020

Thanks so much Emily! I hope we can see some of your stories soon! :)

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A.r. Eakle
05:26 May 19, 2020

I went back and read the first story to this, and I was genuinely curious as to what happened to Caleb! You tied the two stories and prompts together well. Good stories!

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11:40 May 19, 2020

Thanks so much! I appreciate the feedback!

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Janet Inglis
03:23 May 18, 2020

Terrific story. So well thought out and pleasure to read.

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11:44 May 18, 2020

Thanks so much Janet!!! :)

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Brooke D. ❤
16:17 May 17, 2020

This was such a great story! I really enjoyed it, and I got shivers throughout the whole story. Other than a few minor errors, this story was mistake-free. Keep writing and stay safe! -Brooke

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16:26 May 17, 2020

Thanks you too Brooke!!! :))

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Brooke D. ❤
16:31 May 17, 2020

You're welcome! :D

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Ruth Porritt
09:20 May 17, 2020

Hello Avery, Very nice. :) "Careful what you wish for." I actually got shivers at the ending. (True story.) Have you read E.C. comics? This story reminds me of the best stories in E.C. comics. (E.C. comics were deliciously frightful comics that were available to Baby Boomers. I think there are some reprints available, as well as pdf stuff, online.) Unum Tenebris sounds like the name of something evil--something not quite right. (You've hit the nail on the head, with the naming of that character.) Again, I enjoyed the relations...

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12:01 May 17, 2020

Ruth out of all the comments I have gotten, I believe I like this one the best I haven't read E.C. comics but will definitely check them out! Yes I love to add little "dad jokes" that my dad would have probably said. Thanks for the feedback. Unum Tenebris means dark one in Latin. I'm pretty sure I put that in the story. Ruth, thanks soooo much! :)))

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Ruth Porritt
05:43 May 18, 2020

Hello Avery, Awww, shucks. :) Great! E.C. comics are the best. :) Out of curiosity, did your dad pass away? Mine passed in 2013. (Still miss him, every day. He was a writer.) Anyway, catch you around reedsy, Ruth

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11:49 May 18, 2020

No mine hasn't passed away. I'm so sorry for your loss! I will look into E.C.! Catch you around Reedsy too!

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Ruth Porritt
00:59 May 19, 2020

Thanks, and see you around Reedsy, Ruth

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11:40 May 19, 2020

Yep! You too!

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12:19 May 16, 2020

Hello fellow readers, and writers! Thanks you so much for supporting me. I love writing this story going back to the past. :) I love to express animals feelings, so I tried to give details about Unum Tenebris. This story is manly trying to say careful what you wish for. Poor Ava and her sister. These events will keep repeating themselves forever. I hope you enjoy! Thanks again! :)

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A. y. R
08:23 May 16, 2020

So many twist and turns in the story, you kept it very engaging! One thing I would do is imply the future thing earlier on in the story to build more suspense

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12:15 May 16, 2020

Ok thanks! How would you suggest I were to do that?

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A. y. R
12:41 May 16, 2020

Hmm... One thing you might want to look into is her future self giving exact timings of events she'll undergo. Also a sense of urgency or desperation from her future self making the danger more imminent

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12:51 May 16, 2020

Ok I'll work on that.

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07:14 Oct 08, 2020

Wowww wowowiwowiow!!!! This was WONDERFUL!!!! I ADORE it !!! I love the unique idea the thrill, and basically the while thing!! This is awesome!!! Are their any other stories like this by you?

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