Three Friends on a Date
The three friends, Mike, Steve and Dave had not had a date since they graduated from high school together, went to college together and set up their own heating/air-conditioning repair service together. Their excuse had been that they had been way too busy, which was true to a certain extent. So, at age 26, they arranged with a local dating service to procure three young women for a date at a dance club that they had frequented as teenagers. None of the guys wanted to ‘go it alone’, so it was to be a group date. As the dating service operated ‘sight unseen’, each one of them would wear a blue ribbon (very symbolic) provided by the service for identification purposes.
The boys got there early, and lingered, drinks in hand, near the entrance, anxiously awaiting their blue ribbon prizes. Despite their almost constant presence in each other’s lives, the three young man were quite different in nature from each other. Mike was high energy, had been on the high school football team, with a league-leading number of quarterback sacks, and danced like a wild man releasing his demons on the dance floor. He wore bolder colours than most men his age, or any age did. Tonight his pants were a deep purple.
Steven was his opposite, almost invisible in the company of his friends, very quiet, his mind being his major activity center. He was the type of guy who asked ‘philosophical’ questions when the three guys were sitting at a bar. “If you could only have a large reptile for a pet, what would it be?” He was the only one wearing jeans, as they were his comfort pants.
Dave was ‘Davy Dressup’ or ‘Dapper Dave’ (Diaper Dave when they were 12 and their teacher had just coined the term Dapper Dave). He was always dressed impeccably, especially for work. He even changed his socks every day. For tonight, he has spent at least half an hour ironing his black formal pants. His voice was calm and controlled, so he was the one to answer the phone at work if he was at their warehouse office. In all things, he was the most conservative of the three guys. They never asked him how he voted.
The Women Enter The Building
It wasn’t long before the three women entered the building, all three wearing their blue ribbon, and by the reaction of most of the men in the club, they had earned it like in a country fair. They were led by a quite striking red-headed woman with a brazenly red dress, not short but moving like a force of nature with her long strides. She was clearly after a good time, and wanted it as soon as possible.
After her was a woman who walked more carefully, and dressed much more quietly, her short, light brown straight hair included. She was the only one of the women wearing pants. The third was, as they say, ‘dressed to the nines’ maybe the hobbit term ‘elevenses’ would have been more accurate. Her walk was everything proper, like she was involved in some kind of royal ceremony
The women’s names were Ellen, Christine, and Donna, in order of appearance. Ellen was Steven’s date. Christine was Dave’s lady for the evening. Finally, ‘dressy Donna’, as her friends called her was to spend her time with Mike.
It there had been a competition that night for the most mismatched couple, there would have been a three way tie: Ellen and Steven, Christine, and Dave, and with an equally significant lack of suitability, Donna and Mike.
Mike led them all to a table in the corner. After initial introductions, conversation started and stopped, with most of the cross sex comments coming from those that were not partnered. Drinks were ordered quickly, and just as speedily downed as if it were medicine for a particularly annoying disease.
While it is not often said, one good way of accessing information about people’s personality is to watch them on the dance floor, particularly after they have had several drinks. The meek move mildly, while the wild whip their waists around like they have just stepped on a live wire on a wet floor. All three pairs clashed in style and personality on the dance floor, after a short time through the first song, words were not spoken, and eyes were directed to the floor.
A Trip to the Washroom
After between one and two hours of this incompatibility, Mike announced that he was going to the men’s washroom, as if he had had a choice in which place to go, and he had thought long and hard on his where he was going. He looked into the eyes of his friends when he said this. Dave and Steve soon made similar announcements, looking at Mike and not the women when saying so. Soon all three stood up and headed to their declared destination.
Now all three of the women abandoned at the table were enough women of the world to know that this was strange behaviour. Most men, unlike most women, when to the bathroom alone, not in a group. It was an unwritten, unspoken rule. The women knew that something must be going on, and they weren’t to be included.
When the three guys got into the washroom, urination was early declared by all three parties not to be the purpose of their short journey. Mike began the conversation. “We have to do something, boys. This is crazy. We are each of us with the wrong woman. I want to change partners. I want Ellen. Donna is definitely not for me. Then Steve declared his dislike of Ellen with a loud “You can have her. I don’t want her. She’s crazy.” More quietly he expressed an interest in Christine, “She’s more my type” is what he said as if he were afraid that someone outside the room or in one of the stalls would hear him. Shortly thereafter, Dave said his bit about not liking being with Christine, following it with, “Now Donna, she’s interesting. Her taste in clothing is magnificent.”
All three men then nodded their heads in agreement. Then Mike asked the question that was on the minds of his two friends. “How are we going to do this, guys? I think if we say anything like what we are thinking they will walk out on us, and our dates will be over. What do you think Steve? You are the thinker amongst us.”
Steve looked down and said, with some regret, “I have no idea. My experience with women is that they will run when they hear what we want to say. Dave, you are the diplomatic one, do you have the right words for us to use?
Dave said, “I don’t think ordinary diplomacy will work for us boys. Maybe if we ask them for their phone numbers once this fiasco is over, we can each call the one we want to go out with.”
The other two nodded in agreement. Then in single file, two paces apart they walked slowly out of the men’s room, almost hoping that the women had left.
The Women Have a Plan
But their dates hadn’t walked out on them, and the guys would be in for a big surprise. When they sat down beside their inappropriate date for the night, Ellen spoke up, “Boys, we girls have been talking. We are not paired up right. We have discussed the matter, and we are in agreement as to who wants who. No one of you will be left out. What do you think?”
The three male friends looked at each other and then at the three female friends. Mike spoke. “Well, why don’t we close our eyes, and you can pick the guy of your choice.”
Everyone agreed, and the men were greatly pleased that they got their own pick without worrying about being rejected by the woman of their choice. The rest of the evening went well despite the disastrous beginning.