I lie on the long green grass, my hands behind my head, and my eyes gazing at the shining stars. there are many stars in the dark sky, shining. Caine, my pet kitten cuddles in next to me. He meows and begins to purr. I give him a few head scratches, but every time I take my hand away, he meows for more. He stretches out his tiny little paws to reach out for my hands. He sniffs my face wanting more cuddles and hugs. My eyes would only shift from the beautiful stars and the adorable light brown, fluffy kitten. He was soft and warm. He would always make my dark times lighten up. He was all I loved and cared for. He will be gone one day in this world. I tell myself. I shouldn’t cry if he does. I do love him, and I don’t want him gone, but he will one day…Caine sprung up from my side and runs around. He is acting crazy. He runs to the sides like a crab or fluffs his tail like he wanted to fight. I don’t know what is going on, but my mother told me in the morning that he does that sometimes. As he runs around me, I try to catch him before he runs away and never comes back. I catch him and hug him between my arms. He cuddles as I carry him to the small hill we had. He likes the hill. There are trees that he likes to climb and some he likes to hide behind. He also enjoys walking there in the grass.
He goes down the hill, while I am on top of it. he is on the dim sidewalk beside some white flowers, looking at something, not moving a muscle. I am beside some bushes, far from him. I walk to the end of the hill wanting to jump down to get him home. there are many cats in that sidewalk, I don’t want him to fight with any.
I jump from the hill down to the sidewalk, but little did I know that this small jump would end Caine’s life. When I jump down, out of nowhere he is under me and I crush his little head. When I land, I see him walking back. I jumped over his hand, and he is hurt. but no. I jumped on his head. He runs back but falls on his head as his body struggling to run in pain. He wants to run, but his head is stapled to the floor. It takes me a few seconds to realize what is happening. But I realize when I see blood. “Caine!” I shout. I don’t know what to do. I am scared. “Caine…” I run home, but my legs carry me back to Caine, now there is more blood surrounding him, he is only moving some small shifts.
I walk back home, but as I walk, my breaths became heavy. They never became that heavy before. My fingers feel numb. it is cold, but I am sweating. My legs can’t carry me anymore. I am going to faint. Sounds around me became silent, juts my heavy breaths. My legs walk me back to Caine, but this time, I see a light brown fluffy, lifeless body, surrounded by blood. "Caine!" I scream. "Caine! come back! Please! No! I love you, Caine!"
I hug his lifeless body. it is light. all the blood he has in this tiny body was gone. his soul was gone too. I let his body back to the floor as I stand.
I try to walk back home, but I fall to the ground as heavy tears slide down my bright red cheeks. I stand but fall back to the floor. my mouth feels dry, and my heart, broken. I try to stand again, telling myself to stay strong I weakly walk home as I grasped my hand hard. My sister sees me, and I tell her what happens as I breakdown. I love Caine. I wish he could be with me all the time. I am the only one who loves him and cares about him. I am the one who ended up killing him. I hate myself and my life for that. I want him. my heart is aching. I never killed a creature before. I never thought I would. And I will never again.
"Its okay," my sister says as she wipes away my tears. "It will be okay." she hugs me as she tries to calm me down.
"No..." I say as I cry. "I love him. I killed him... I am a killer..."
"You are not," she says. "It was by accident."
"But still... I already miss him."
our neighbors call me, telling me, that they saw my cat dead. I tell them I know as I cry. I try to explain what happened, but I couldn't. my sister takes my phone and answers the call instead.
my friend, which is also my neighbor comes to my house and tries to calm me down. my heavy breaths became lighter. I am able to feel my numb hands and fingertips again. my tears stop sliding from my eyes, but fells my eyes instead.
Two months later, I lie on the same spot on the long green grass staring at the bright shining stars. My boyfriend lies next to me. I miss Caine. I wish he is here with me. I love him. I want to cuddle his little warm fur. my brother understands that I am still sad from the incident so he says as he points at the dark blue sky, "He is there. his soul is there. When you look up. you'll see him. those stars are the stars you saw on that day they are still here and so is he."
I look at my boyfriend with a smile and say as I look at the bright stars with the full blood moon, “It's beautiful. Isn’t it?”
"It is," he says. "And so are you."
by: Yageen Faiz