Did you hear? School is closed for 2 weeks! Mommy said we can’t come see you today but that I should take this time to write you an email. You know, as if I were going to see you. Actually first she said I should draw you a picture. And I had a really I had this great idea. I wanted to draw us sitting in grass with a unicorn in the background. I know unicorns aren’t real. I am 7! Well, for another two weeks. Don’t forget my birthday! It’s the 25th, a week from Wednesday. I won’t tell you which cake I’m going to pick this year but I already have a really good idea.
Anyways, I was going to draw my picture. I went and got out all the markers. Not the dinky ones that dry up after a minute so your pictures starts disappearing the more you draw. I took out the good ones that smell a little when you push too hard. I was already to start but then I realized I don’t know how to draw unicorns. I asked Mommy if she could help. That’s when she had the idea for me to write an email instead. I told her I didn’t know how to write but enough words but she showed me how to use the little microphone to talk and the iPad turns my talking into words. She said I should describe my whole idea, every the detail, every little blade of grass. I could even describe the hair on the unicorn. I told her that would take forever. Then she taught me about reverse racing. Instead of seeing who could finish fastest, she wanted to see who could finish slowest. It’s a weird game but kinda’ fun. She didn’t have any ideas for pictures to describe so instead she decided I should write the email and she would drink a really big drink. She really liked the idea because she took out one of her bottles that she keeps in the drawer above the microwave. Usually she only saves those ones for birthdays and holidays. I’m pretty sure she took it out to celebrate the surprise school vacation. Anyways, she picked a red one from the back of the shelf while I set up at the table with the iPad and opened the email app. I know the passcode so I can set it up myself. When Mommy takes out those bottles I have to be very careful because I spill everything and the red stuff will stain everything.
Ok, so here’s my drawing in words. We’re sitting in the grass. You’re wearing a yellow shirt and those brown scratchy pants I hate. I’m wearing the pink dress I wore on my birthday last year. I have to use that dress now because after next week I’m going to have a new dress for my next birthday. Remember, it’s on Wednesday – not this week but next – but my party is on Friday. I’ll tell you more about that next week when we come to visit. Ok?
So, back to the picture. Remember we’re the ones in yellow, brown and pink and we’re in the middle of the green grass. Some blades are short and spiky like Jake’s hair. Yes, it’s still spiky. Mommy keeps telling him she likes it better when he leaves it au naturel but you know brothers never listen to their Mommies about style. So there are short blades of grass that jumped off Jake’s head, rolled in green paint and starting running away but got caught in the mud. Then there are taller pieces too. They look like… like… like Mommy’s hair. They are straight and look perfect from far away but when you get close you can see all the pieces sticking out in every direction. Mommy has some brown hairs that stick out even though she’s blonde. So I guess if I’m drawing green grass like Mommy’s hair I should make some brown ones stick out too. Ok, I think that’s it for the grass. Then I just have to draw the unicorn. He’s white and fluffy. I think I’ll call him Ben. His hair is rainbow colored and drops down the side of his neck. All on one side, though. See Ben is walking behind us in the grass. He’s looking at where is he going which means when you look at him, he is looking to the side. So all of his hair has to be on the same side so we can see it. I don’t know what’s on the other side.
That’s the whole picture I wanted to draw. Do you think Mommy is done her drink yet? I’ll go check.
Remember last week when we couldn’t come visit you and I wanted to draw you a picture but Mommy wanted me to write you an email instead? Well she said you liked my email SOOOO much that you wanted me to write you another one. An even longer one this time. And then maybe we can go visit you next week. I don’t have any ideas for pictures today but I can tell you the new plans for my birthday. It’s going to be really weird this year.
As you know, I’m turning 8 years old on Wednesday. Mommy says it’s still my birthday and I can still wear my new dress. It’s blue. Crazy right? Every year when Mommy and I go shopping for my birthday dress I find a pink one. But this year shopping took forever. We couldn’t find anything!!!! Mommy was getting tired carrying all the bags. She got so much Kraft Dinner! Then we saw this blue one. Mommy said it looks like Cinderella’s dress. I didn’t know who Cinderella was so she said we should buy the dress then go home and watch the movie. So after watching the movie Cinderella isn’t my favorite princess but I like the way she plays with the mice, especially GusGus. Mommy says we can’t go shopping for another ones this year so the blue one will be my this year birthday dress.
So the blue dress is weird birthday thing number one. Here’s number two: I can’t go to Dairy Queen to pick out my cake from the freezer. This year I have to tell Daddy what I want and he’ll get it. Good thing I’ve been practicing describing in our emails. I’ll have to do a really good job for Daddy because Mommy tells him all the time that he doesn’t listen very well. He makes mistakes a lot. I’ll just be really careful about how I describe it. Maybe I’ll draw him a picture too. I know how to draw cakes.
I asked Mommy why my birthday was so weird this year and she said it was because of Corona. Do you know her? I don’t she doesn’t sound very nice. No one likes her. I heard Mommy talking on the phone about how she keeps sneaking into restaurants and stores and touching everything. Eww, gross! Doesn’t she know about germs?!? Anyways, I think Corona heard about my party and wanted to come. Mommy doesn’t want her there and you know how Mommy is about including everybody. So instead of not inviting Corona, we cancelled the whole party. I was really upset. Like crying and screaming. Jake got to have his party and that was only a few weeks ago at a stupid VR arcade. But Mommy said we have to wait and have the party when Corona goes away. It’s really not fair because I didn’t even tell Corona about my party. I was REALLY mad but I’m ok now. Don’t tell Mommy I was listening to her on the phone but when she was talking about Corona and cancelling the party, I heard her say she might turn my birthday into a pool party because it will be so hot outside. Can you believe it! Summer never comes so close to my birthday! And a pool party is way cooler that the superhero obstacle course we were going to set up in the basement!!!
Anyways, I’m still going to get to eat my cake and I’m still going to wear my new dress so I guess it doesn’t matter if we have to wait for the party.
Ok, it’s time for our family walk. We started taking them all together last week. Every day! Can’t wait to see you next week.
When I’m 8.
You won’t believe this. School is going to be closed for another month! No tests. No homework. NOTHING! And Mommy says we’re going to come see you soon. So I don’t really have to write an email but there’s nothing else to do. I’ve been playing with all the same games and there’s nothing to watch on Netflix. So here I am.
I have to tell you how my really weird birthday went. Daddy picked out the wrong birthday cake. I mean it was ok but it had a bunch of Disney princesses on it. I got really upset because I don’t even know half of the princesses! One had a yellow dress. Daddy told me her name was Belle. I think that means pretty. I don’t really remember. I haven’t been in French class for two weeks, remember? Then there was one Mommy called Arielle but I know Arielle is the Little Mermaid and this one had feet so I told her I thought she was wrong. That’s when Mommy said it was as good a time as any to start my classic education. We all got a piece of cake and watched Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Jake said he didn’t want to watch cartoon and that’s when Mommy told him it was all I was getting as my birthday party for this year so he had to stay. I started crying and accidently told her that I knew about the pool party she had been talking about. She seemed mad. I think it was supposed to be a surprise. Anyways, Daddy said Jake could play on his phone but he had to stay with the family to watch the movie.
It’s not just my birthday. Everything has been so weird. I thought not going to school would be fun but everyday we do the same thing over and over again. Mommy and Daddy keep arguing over which one has babysitting duties and which one has to work. They keep fighting over the laptop and running into different rooms where they can close the door. They said that next week they are going to move the computer from the playroom into the extra bedroom so they can work in peace. But then I won’t be able to play on it anymore. I’ve already played with all my toys like a million times.
People are still talking about Corona. Mommy spoke with Aunt Kim on the phone and said that when we come see you next week no one else is allowed to come. Just us. Are you excited? I don’t know when exactly but Mommy said we’re going to have to dress warm. I saw her taking out our hats and scarves and stuff. She’s been picking out the outfits too. Usually she only picks out my clothes for special occasions like last year when Joey got married. But I guess because we haven’t seen you in a few weeks this counts as special. She’s already hung my black dress with the red collar over the cupboard door. That’s where she “saves” my outfits that she wants me to wear. You’ve seen the dress before. It’s the one with the big buttons. I think it’s weird to play outside in a dress and I don’t really like the color. I saw this paper where Mommy was writing down the address Aunt Kim gave her for the playdate with you. I couldn’t see the whole thing because there were some books on it. I didn’t want to move them because then Mommy would know I was snooping. But I could see the first part was “fun” so I think my pink leggings with the flowers are a better choice! If Mommy thinks it’s going to be hot enough for a pool party for my birthday then it’s definitely time to wear the flower pants!
I’m really excited to see you Granpa!