Living Nightmare

Submitted for Contest #30 in response to: Write a story about a character experiencing déjà vu.... view prompt

7 comments

Submitted on 02/27/2020

Categories: Adventure Thriller

Inhale.

Exhale.

A wet tree limb smacked my face; feet sucked on moist earth with each step.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Sunlight flashed through the treetops and vanished just as quickly, a giant strobe light in the sky, as I ran forward.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Just breathe, I told myself. Stop running, and just breathe. They won’t find you now.

It took a while for my legs to respond to my mind’s plea. At last I stilled, muscles quivering, the adrenaline rush gone and weariness setting in. My daytime desk job had not prepared me for this; my body was not used to the exertion. I struggled to control my breathing, suddenly lightheaded and faint, clutching a tree to keep upright. I collapsed into a sitting position on the ground, rough bark scraping my back, and let my mind wander.


I remembered awakening early this morning, coated in sweat, scared of something but not remembering what. I’d gotten up, gotten dressed, and was just starting to get myself some breakfast when my phone rang. Unknown name, unknown number. I picked it up. "Hello?"

"You have something we want, Elizabeth Jones. Meet me at Shinbone Road in Bushman’s Woods at noon. Bring the picture."

"What picture? Hey, who is this? Is this some kind of joke?"

"We do not joke around, Ms. Jones. Bring the picture, and come alone. You do not want to bring the police into this. If you disobey in any way, we will kill you, and that is no joke. If you doubt us, look outside your front door. Noon, Shinbone Road in Bushman’s Woods. Be there." The line went dead.

I stared at the phone in confusion. Picture? What picture? I couldn’t even remember the last time I took a picture, other than a selfie every blue moon, and what could they want with those? I’m not even particularly pretty. I flipped through the pictures on my phone. Nothing interesting. I would have shrugged it off completely had not I stepped out the door and almost stumbled over my cat’s dead body. He’d been shot multiple times. I’d never heard a thing.

After recovering from the shock of my discovery, I sat down to think. They must have the wrong person. Of course! How many Elizabeth Joneses existed in the world? It was obvious to me that they were looking for a different Beth Jones.

It was also obvious to me that they meant business, and I had no doubt that they would come after me if I didn’t show up, right person or not. I had to meet them in Bushman’s Woods, wherever that was, at noon and somehow convince them they had the wrong woman. It was the only choice. I could only hope they’d listen.

It had taken me a while to find the meeting place, as I’d never been in this neck of the woods before, so to speak. When I showed up, they didn’t believe me, and they were mad as rabid dogs that I hadn’t brought the picture they wanted. When the guns came out and lead started flying, I dove into the woods and ran for my life.


Now I was completely lost, but that didn’t matter to me nearly as much as the fact that I had perhaps lost them. A strange feeling was nagging at me, a sense of having been here before. Bit by bit the answer came to me. That nightmare that had awakened me this morning… I had seen these woods in my dream. I’d been running through them… As hard as I tried, I could remember no more of my dream than that. Something bad had happened, but what?

Suddenly distant rustling and shouting met my ears. I leapt to my feet in a panic. I hadn’t lost them. There were still coming for me. I resumed running, blindly surging to I knew not where. I zigged and zagged, trying to throw the pursuers off my trail, trying to confuse them so that they’d start following some deer path instead of my own. I’d given up on trying to conceal my footprints, finding the unsuccessful endeavor to be a worthless waste of time. Every tree and bush looked the same to me, and I had the sensation that I was running in circles, but I continued on. The rustling was growing louder, closer. I staggered to a stop when I found myself standing at the base of the tree that I had been resting against only a short while ago; my imprint in the wet leaves and moss was distinct. Somehow I had gotten turned around, and was running toward my pursuers rather than away.

Quickly, I turned and ran the other direction, making my own path through the brush and briars, hoping that would slow them down. Instead, it seemed to just slow me. My pants and shirt and the skin beneath was being ripped and torn to shreds, but I pushed forward, fear of death keeping me moving. Suddenly, my hair snagged on a thorny branch. I pulled on it, but that seemed to only tighten the snag. I began picking at it, trying to untangle it, but was making little headway. They were close now. The rustling of their boots stomping down the undergrowth made my soul shudder. I began thrashing wildly, trying to tear my hair loose from the bush’s demonic grip.

"She’s that way," a man’s heavy voice shouted. I could almost see them now.

I gave a sudden yank, falling into the brush as my hair tore loose and I was set free. I staggered to my feet and began to run, when a barrel-chested man with an evil sneer stepped out in front of me. I swung around, to see another man with weapon drawn block the way behind me. Trees and brambles fenced me in on both sides. There was nowhere to run, no way to escape.

The man wiped blood from a long briar-scratch on his face, stared at the red on his hand, then looked back at me.

"You’re dead," he said, aiming his gun.

My eyes opened wide. Bang, bang, bang, the bullets entered my body, piercing flesh and breaking bone. I fell to the ground, darkness clouding my vision. I remembered then how my nightmare ended; it all came back to me in a flood. I let my tense muscles relax as my life-blood seeped back into the earth from whence it came. The pain was excruciating, but it did not last long as I faded into death.


I awoke with a jolt, drenched with sweat, a scream yet on my lips. Shakily, I arose. Why did this horrible nightmare continue to haunt me? Every night, it was the same. Suddenly cold, I clutched my arms tightly around me, and after a moment I began to get dressed. I was glad it was only a dream. As I sat down and poured myself a bowl of cereal for breakfast, my phone rang.

Unknown name.

Unknown number.

It fell to the floor through limp fingers, where it lay pulsing with each ring.


The End

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

7 comments

02:58 Mar 03, 2020

Your beginning pulled me in. Great start and eerie finish! I like your description - "feet sucked on moist earth." Keep submitting!

Reply

Lee Kull
21:39 Mar 04, 2020

Thank you very much, I'm so glad that you've enjoyed it! It seems that there are many mixed feelings among readers concerning my use of description. Many like it, and yet others say that it's too much detail and I should skip the description and stick to the action. To me, I see the description as PART of the action, the part that shows a reader the world of my characters. What do you think? Thank you again for reading, commenting, and enjoying. I really love getting people's opinions of my stories. I've submitted many other stories on here...

Reply

18:51 Mar 05, 2020

I agree... but it depends. Its like that sage-old wisdom "show don't tell" but the phrase is so incredibly vague...and left to its own interpretation can actually be horrible advice. I've always believed that if your descriptions have to do with the scene, are part of the action, or in some way drives the story forward, you're good... beautiful description just for the sake of beautiful description is usually unnecessary purple prose. But even then, it depends on what you're writing and the point you're trying to make. Are you trying to make...

Reply

Lee Kull
04:22 Mar 06, 2020

But... but what if you're both a writer AND an editor, like me, haha? ;-) Thank you for sharing your opinion. You made some great points. I'm always interested in seeing what other people think concerning subjects like this. Still plan on getting back to you about your own story when I find the time. At a glance, though, I think I have a pretty good guess as to what first interested you in mine, haha. :-) Best wishes, Lee

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
20:34 Mar 29, 2020

I was completely hooked the entire time. Your use of dialogue is amazing! And the ending was such a cliff hanger, goosebumps everywhere! Great story and I hope you will keep entering!:)

Reply

Lee Kull
00:10 Mar 30, 2020

Thank you! I'm so happy you liked it! I plan to keep posting. I just entered for another story prompt, actually, and I'd love to know what you think of the story and its title, if/when you find time of course. :-) Best wishes, and stay safe, Lee

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Lee Kull
23:18 Feb 27, 2020

This story fits four out of all five prompts for this week, but only the one I entered it under was on my mind as I wrote it. I doubt it would be okay with Reedsy if I entered the same story four times, though, haha, so I will stick to the déjà vu prompt. :-) I hope readers enjoy my little thriller. All comments and criticisms are welcomed with open arms. If there is anything you liked or disliked about it, please let me know! Best wishes, Lee

Reply

Show 0 replies