Wingman 101

Submitted for Contest #3 in response to: Write a story about a matchmaker.... view prompt

“Tash, how long does it take you to get dressed in there?” Chloe’s fist hammered on the door.

“One second!” I yelled back. I quickly turned around and checked myself out in the mirror. *Gulp*, I hoped this one would pass Chloe’s eagle eye test…. Or else I was gonna be in hot water! Taking a deep breath, I opened the door.

Chloe turned around “It’s about time- Whoa….”

Brumby craned his neck around her

“Whoa!” He echoed “You look good mate!”

I coughed awkwardly; my hands stuffed in my pockets. I wore polished black boots, black jeans, a belt with the buckle in the shape of a rearing horse. My ebony horse amulet gleamed on the skin exposed by the tight V-necked black T-shirt. Over that, I wore a black leather jacket

“Yeah…. You do….” Chloe muttered in a sort of disappointed whimper.

“‘You do?’” Brumby crowed “Oh man she actually agrees!”

Chloe punched him. Brumby grinned as he rubbed his shoulder

“How did those words taste coming out of your mouth?” he asked, hiding behind me.

“Bitter.” Chloe replied dead pan before she hit him again.

“Good choice Tash.” She looked at me with disappointed eyes. “But your makeover isn’t done yet!” She smiled happily.

Brumby eyed me with panic-stricken eyes. A sentiment deeply echoed by me.

“It’s not?”

“Oh no it isn’t! We may have fixed your wardrobe but we still have to do something about your hair!”

Suddenly self-conscious, I ran a hand through my shoulder length black hair. I know I didn’t exactly brush it but still….

“What’s wrong with my hair?”

God, why did I sound like a whiny little girl?

“Other than the fact that it’s unruly, wild and covers your face half the time.”

“She’s just jelly cause your conditioner is way better than hers.” Brumby said in a stage whisper. Chloe’s eyes zeroed in on him like the cross hairs of a sniper rifle.

“What did you say?” She said in a thunderous whisper.

“Um, nothing!” Brumby hid himself behind some mannequins.

“Mr. Smooth strikes again eh?” I muttered in an equally loud stage whisper. This time it was Brumby who glared at me while Chloe grinned and gave me a high five.

“But, of course,” I mused, shooting a sly glance at Chloe “he does have a point…. my conditioner is way better than yours, girl!”

Chloe raised an eyebrow as Brumby howled with laughter.

Just then Chloe’s cell rang. She answered it with a bright smile but then her expression shifted, first from a frown to surprise and then a frown again. She held the phone out towards me.

“It’s for you.”

Me? Who could possibly be calling me? I glanced at Brumby who shrugged back. I took the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hi um…Tash? Um, it’s Trixie…”

TRIX-TRIXIE! TRIXIE FRICK FRACKIN BARTON WAS CALLING ME!? I punched the air silently. Brumby grinned at me but Chloe frowned. Focusing back on the call, I deepened my voice and made it sound as manly as I could.

“Uh, hi Trixie, what’s up?” It was the girl of my dreams on the other end of the call! My heart was in my mouth….

“Listen Tash, um…. I’m afraid I’ll have to rain check on tonight….”

…. And down went the heart.

“Oh…” I muttered into the phone, my shoulders slumping in disappointment.

“Yeah….er something came up and-”

“No worries! I mean we can always get together another time!” The words sped out of my mouth so fast I couldn’t believe what I said.

“Oh, um…great! So….um…. bye!” The line went dead.

“Bye…” I whispered into the silent phone.

I turned back to the others.

“Tash, what happened mate?” asked Brumby. “I mean one minute you were punching the air and the next…” he trailed off looking at my face. Guess that told him the whole story.

“Oh, um that was Trixie!” I smiled at them, hiding behind the thin armor the smile gave me.

Brumby started to smile back

“She uh, called to rain check the date.”

Brumby’s grin faded and for once his eyes didn’t gleam with humor like they always did. Chloe’s mouth was turned down and she smiled sympathetically at me.

 “Tash, I’m so sorry.” Chloe said gently placing her hand on my arm. “I know Trixie, she’s my friend but I didn’t know she knew you or anything.”

“Yeah, those two kinda have a complicated history.” Brumby clasped my shoulder and squeezed. I nodded glumly at his words. Then I looked up

“One thing though, how’d she know I’d be with you?”

“Well apparently, she called the stables and they said that you had gone off with Brumby, and then she had apparently called around at my place and…found out that I was gone too, so then she’d gone back to the stables and…. Um…” She blushed.

“What?” we both said together

“Well, the head trainer Jock told her that you’d be with Brumby and that Brumby would be….wherever I’d be…”

This time both of them blushed. Brumby’s ears turned scarlet. I cracked a smile, I had to.

“Well then, I declare this outing as your first official date!” I beamed at them.

Both of them looked sharply at me.

“Tash, this is not a date!” Brumby shot me a murderous look. Chloe just stood stock still but I could tell her ears were tuned like sonar panels towards Brumby’s voice.

“Of course, this is a date!” I held my ground “And I’m the acting chaperone! So, you two lovebirds had better not sneak off while I go to the restroom, got that?” I turned and grinned at Chloe who was hiding her mouth with her hand, her shoulders shaking.

“Tash, this is not a date!” Brumby repeated, his face turning red.

“Well, why isn’t it?” I walked past Chloe and got right in Brumby’s face.

“Well you’re here! And I wouldn’t call going shopping for my best friend a date!”

“So, you wanna take her on a proper date?” I asked slyly.

“OF COURSE, I WANNA TAKE HER ON A PROPER DATE!” Brumby yelled loud enough for the whole store to hear.

I grinned at him then my smile widened as Brumby’s expression went from mad-dog to frozen to shock-and finally a bright burning red. I glanced at Chloe over my shoulder. Her green eyes were wide and there was a touch of pink in her cheeks and a smile peeped out from her mouth. There was an awkward silence…. Then a slow clapping started from the back of the store. An old couple was staring at us and beaming. Suddenly the clapping grew louder as the other shoppers, the shop assistants and even the grim looking manager joined in. There were even a few whoops and whistles from outside the store. I saw a mall cop pounding his barrel chest and whistling. SCORE!

“Well then,” I stepped back two paces and beamed at the pair of them “my work here is done.”

I bowed to Chloe

“Ms. Granger.”

She smiled shyly as she blinked her thanks

I spun on my heel and walked past the still frozen Brumby. I stopped, leaned in and whispered.

“You’re welcome, Brumby Boy.” I slapped him on the back.

Brumby didn’t even react, he was still frozen. I snapped my fingers in front of his face, still no reaction. Rolling my eyes at Chloe, I snorted and gave him a sharp dig in the ribs. Brumby’s eyes flickered and he blinked rapidly.

“T-Ta-Tash…” He stuttered

I chuckled as I gave him a fist bump

“Just don’t screw up okay? Now get going Casanova. She’s waiting for ya.” I gave him a hearty shove towards Chloe. I ducked out of the store and hid behind two big plant pots muttering the Mission Impossible theme song. Operation Broe had begun!

See what I did there? Brumby + Chloe = BROE!!! Now that, my dear Reader, is called good shipping. Now back to the story of those two young lovers.

She stood there shyly. He stepped cautiously towards her. She smiled up at his towering form then gently reached up and touched his cheek. He leaned in and whispered something to her, causing her to giggle. Then she gently rose on her toes and kissed his cheek. He grinned broadly and took her hand. And the two young lovers walked out of the store, followed by the crinkling and mellowing eyes of all those around them.

Even me! I’ll admit it! No judging Reader but watching those two….it was enough to make a grown man cry!

Ha-ha, just kidding, you think I’d actually cry? Ha, no way! But I couldn’t help smiling at the sight of them but at the same time I couldn’t help wondering…. Would Brumby still be the same guy? Would he still have time to hang out or go riding or just you know…. Yeah well, I know we all have to grow up Reader, but still… Well I guess time would tell.

Now back to the story.

He led her through the mall, only stopping to.... AWWWWW, buy her a rose! Now isn’t that the sweetest thing you ever read, Reader? I mean he bought her a rose! A Red Rose! You know what that means don’t ya? But still…. damn Brumby, this girl hasn’t just lassoed you, she’s hogtied you!

They continued on their little elopement, gazing into each other’s eyes with the passion experienced only by two people reckless with the joy of love and- Hey! I'm pretty good at voice overs! Angel was right, maybe I should get into the whole announcing thing- And they walked as if lost in the dreams of Love, while being stealthy followed by a very dashing young man, if I may so myself, who darted from corner to corner like a super spy! I was an Ice man! I was the coolest of the cool! I was unfazed by danger! I was the flame that burned night and day! I was-nearly arrested by a security guard for hiding, in what he called an ‘inappropriate pose’, behind a lingerie mannequin.

Anyway, he took her to a rom-com movie. After checking what time, the movie ended, I wandered around the mall for a while then slipped into the car park and went to meet some guys from Monarch who I’d called from a payphone. We all had a bit of a bite to eat then with a quick wink, I slipped a walkie-talkie into my pocket and walked away. 

The movie had just finished when I arrived back. And there the two little love birds were! He led her to the rooftop, leading her to a quiet little bench in the corner. She leaned her head against his shoulder and he kissed her forehead as they watched the sunset. Then slowly she turned her head to face him. He looked deep into her eyes. She was leaning in! They were about to-

“TRA-LA-LA-LA-HEY!”

-be interrupted by their chaperone, as said dashing chaperone sprang out from behind the bushes!

“TASH! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU-” Brumby sputtered leaping to his feet. I silenced him with a finger to his lips and pushed him back into Chloe’s arms. I cleared my throat as I pranced in front of them.

“For your entertainment, tonight, lady and…Mr. Boy Toy over here, I now present the one-man band of Tashunka Lone Raven!”

“BOY-TOY!?” Brumby’s mouth dropped as Chloe burst out laughing. Then his eyes met mine with the horrific realization of what I was about to do.

“Tash! No! Oh no! No, no, no, no, no!” Brumby buried his head in his hands as I gave myself a quick drum roll

“HEY NOW, HEY NOW! WHAT I DO SEE?

TRA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA !

OH! ITS BRUMBY AND CHLOE SITTING IN A TREE!

TRA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA !

BRUMBY AND CHLOE SITTING IN A TREE!

TRA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA !

OH, IT’S BRUMBY AND CHLOE SITTING IN A TREE

K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”

“I’m gonna kill him. I am going to KILL him!” Brumby muttered furiously as Chloe clapped her hands to the beat, laughing with delight. But I was not done yet! HAHAHAHAHAH! Not by a longshot!

“First come Love!

Then comes Marriage!

Then comes the baby in the golden carra-”

It was at that moment that part of my brain registered that Brumby had risen to his feet. So that part of the brain, whispered to the other part of the brain

“Uh oh, Brumby’s coming!”

 “And he looks pretty mad!” The other part of my brain agreed

“What do we do Tash?” they both asked.

“One word boys, SCRAM!”

Laughing, I bolted while Brumby mock charged me

“Tash, not one step closer!” He growled. I put my hands up in surrender, a wide grin etched on my face, as I slowly pulled out the walkie talkie.

“What’s that?” Brumby asked cautiously eyeing the walkie talkie.

I raised my eyebrows

“Just a little surprise I cooked up for ya.”

I lifted the walkie talkie to my mouth.

“Light ‘em up.”

“Copy that.” said the voice on the other end.

Suddenly the dusky sky blazed with light as the fireworks. Chloe squealed with delight as she gazed up at the fiery stars that lit up the sky.

“Brumby.” I said in a stage whisper. “Now might be a good time to kiss her.”

 Brumby chuckled and grinned at me, shook his head in wonder, then walked back to Chloe and kissed her. I mean it was a real movie style kiss. I know what you’re thinking Reader; AWWWWWWWW. With a grin, I walked away.

How’d it go? asked Jingo, my black Arabian mare as I mounted.

“Pretty well, Jingo old girl, pretty well indeed.” I whispered as we trotted off down the street.

I’m not OLD! she snorted fiercely.


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