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Jan 12, 2020

Romance

They sense me in the back of their mind, they know I am there and don't know how to get rid of me. I knaw at their subconscious, putting doubts and fears in their heads. They say they want me gone, they go to a therapist, the therapist laughs in my face.

I can tell they love each other, they have for many years despite my presence. These people I inhabit are strong, they don't give in to my treacherous words.

There are so many questions about me, about my existence. I am a million years old and aging. I have been inside thousands of people and yet I am still hungry. I am never content, never full until my job is complete.

I tear things apart, I bring ruin, wherever I go misery and heartbreak follows.

I am the pain and hurt they feel when they go to bed alone at night. I put thoughts of betrayal and despair in their dreams. I crush their happiness. It is never enough.

When they are together, I am weak. They get their strength from one another and like an antibiotic to a germ, a simple hug throws knives into my cave.

It is overpowering, I suffocate in their love and choke in their heat.

They can't make me leave so easily, I fight back in small and undetected ways.

I tell the girl she is getting boring and dull. I point out her crooked smile and show her an example of another girl, better and with a perfect smile thinking she will break. It doesn't work.

She calls the boy to ask him what he thinks of her smile. He laughs and tells her he is always excited to see her, and his company makes his heart warm. I fade away into the background

I gag.

I am a snake, I slide into the boy's deepest insecurities. I drag his emotions through a gutter and carve a trench in his soft heart. "You will only bring her pain. She doesn't need you, if you stay it will just end up like your parents." I whisper into his ear. He cries himself asleep.

I feel full, sure of victory.

In the morning he brings the girl flowers and tells her how much she means to him, how lucky he is to have her close to him. She feels the same.

They glow. I am blinded.

I know I am losing, I feel my power slipping away every day I am with them. But I am a dark being, I am black, trying to hide a white stain in my midst. I am the empty, cold, eternal space, they the mortal stars.

They don't know their strength, I know mine. This is not a battle they can win, I will not let them.

4 years, 5, then 7

They fight for their love, caring embraces, frequent kisses, smiles that melt my work. I counterattack.

Their mental health is at risk, they gamble with it.

I don't know how, but they stay happy, every nights torment forgotten in each other's eyes.

They get married, I grow weaker and consider moving on. United now, I'm no longer sure I can break them up. I'm so, so tired, I have never felt so lost for action, my purpose has been taken away.

Then I met their child.

A baby boy with blue eyes and pink lips. New, delicate, inexperienced.

I coil, I open my mouth to bite. I lunge towards the baby...

I don't reach, I to short after being worn down by its parents. I slither, crawl, creep my way closer and I am struck back.

A shield, a protective layer given to the boy when he was born into a loving family.

I surrender, they won, there's no hope for me anymore, I have been defeated.

I shed my scaly skin and I am just a worm, just a vulnerable, unimportant creature, cast aside on the highway.

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