There it was. I’ve been looking for this for years. I have friends who are mediums and one of their specialties is objects. I was looking in my attic for some old baseball cards to see if I could sell them on eBay and I found an old weathered beige jacket. The kind that’s part of a three piece suit. I didn’t find the baseball card, but what I did find was Hommy’s collar.  

*

When I was twelve years old I had a traumatic brain injury called a subdural hematoma and after being in the ICU in Cleveland, Ohio, I, with my parents’ consent, was moved to a rehabilitation hospital in Erie, Pennsylvania. There I learned things like how to safely climb stairs again, balance myself, and other important life skills. However, later in my rehabilitation, they did a resocilization, which means they took us children to the mall. At that time in history they had pet stores and we went to one. I found one dog who was very quiet and I really loved this dog because he was quiet. My mom was concerned since the only dogs she knew who were quiet were either sick or hated people. The dog was brown but when my parents asked me a few weeks later what color the dog was I said white. They thought I forgot this dog.

*

I call up my medium friend and ask to set up an appointment. She always told me the less information she, Talia, has, the better, since then she won’t tell me things I’ve already told her. So, I got an appointment the following day at 2 pm. She says she had a cancellation.

*

My parents had a rabbi friend who visited them for emotional and spiritual support. My parents decided to see a movie (I forget which movie). So, the movie happened to be in the same mall where the dog I thought I loved was and my dad asked me if I remembered the dog and I honestly said, “Yes”, but when my dad asked what color the chihuahua was I said “White” although in truth he was brown.

*

I walked into her studio the following day and Talia said to have a seat so I did. Then I took Hommy’s collar out of my pocket and plopped it on the tablecloth on the table. She lit a lavender candle, closed her eyes, and hummed for five minutes . She then said, “I’m sensing there was a lot of fear at the time of this dog’s death.


*

My mom convinced my dad to take me back to the pet store just for kicks to see if I really remembered the dog. When I walked in I went right to this. dog. Then, my mom told my dad we had to get this dog because of everything I’d been through, but the next problem was where would the dog stay. See, pets are not allowed to stay in hospitals unless they’re service dogs, which this chihuahua wasn’t. So, my mom had sublet an apartment and decided to let the chihuahua stay with her, but not sleep with her. This was supposed to be my dog, not hers. The place she subletted also didn’t accept dogs.


*

“That’s true. He had dog dementia and was having accidents, and he tried to improve but couldn’t and he screamed when I decided to put him to sleep. He was scared. I’m sorry, Hommy,” I said.

*

He had never barked before and Hommy visited me in the hospital and I walked him as part of my physical therapy. Then, a week before I was supposed to get out of the hospital, Hommy and my mom were staying in the sublet and my mom made a wall with the groceries so Hommy would stay in the kitchen so Hommy could later sleep with me instead of my mom. He was supposed to be my dog. Then, he snuck through the groceries and tried to climb on my mom’s bed. So, my mom put him back. She did this three times and then Hommy discovered he could bark and barked. loudly.

So, my mom put him on the bed and pet him for a bit and then put Hommy back and he was okay and nobody reported it.  

*

“He was upset at the time but understands now that you put him to sleep because he was suffering. He forgives you. He wants to say to you he’s ok now and forgives you.”

I had other dogs later but none with the story of Hommy. See, he didn’t bark because he was depressed and I was depressed too. So, we were able to cheer each other up. I’ll never forget you, Hommy. I’ll keep this chain in my bedroom for the rest of my life. I love and miss you, Hommy. Always, every day. I love you, miss you, and wish you were still here. I miss you.

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