"I wish that my mom would wake up and smell the flowers!!!!”
I know that sounds
a bit harsh, and a little insensitive but that's how I felt. My mother and I
unfortunately never had that mother/daughter relationship that you hear your
closest friends talk about or that you see portrayed on TV. She always would
leave me and my two younger sisters Elisa and Ellora while she is either at
work or up in some guys face. We’re only like two years apart. Elisa is 14,
Ellora is 16 and I'm the oldest, I'm 18 years old. Ohhh sorry, I'm Emmie, its
short for Emily but everyone calls me Emmie.
Growing up was
hard, when I'm sure it shouldn't have been. Our mother, Elizabeth worked two jobs
just to make ends meet. She was a nurse by day and a waitress by night. So as
you can guess that doesn’t leave not much time spent with us... That I'm okay
with, she's a hardworking woman of 3 girls. Her husband, our dad got locked up
when they were in high school. He did 3 years in jail and when he got out we
all thought he changed... And he did... For a while, they even got married a
month after he got home, but things didn't stay peaceful. He was doing any and everything
to help out and things were starting to look up. (Or so we thought was on the
up and up) Helping out around the house, getting back into going to church,
just all around trying to change his ways... Until, one day he came home late
one evening with the smell of beer seeping through his pores like he took a
bath with it, it was almost immediately after 3 months of being married he was
back to his old self trying to make a quick dollar selling drugs, using
drugs... Just anything that would help him get a leg up in the world, or so he
thought. This last offense got him life. It was a drug exchange gone wrong,
ending in a murder.
Before he went back
to jail for the last and final time, they ended up getting a divorce, that
shattered the entire family although it was needed it still felt like we was
carrying around dead weight.
After my dad, my mom
started to care about the wrong things... Like looking good for her boyfriend
that she's dating that particular week... She never fully wanted to put in the
effort with us, her flesh and blood anymore. Nothing seemed genuine... Nothing
morning I woke up feeling defeated and frustrated I yelled
"I wish my mother would wake up and smell the flowers."
The house was empty, my sisters were at school, and mom was
at work. I was getting ready to start my day as normal I had no classes that
day so I just decided to clean the house a little bit until it was time to meet
my sister, Ellora at our local thrift shop to start looking at dresses for
prom. Elisa gets dropped off near the thrift store which is like two blocks
from the store, so she can just walk right over. Of course, I would be at the
bus stop waiting for her to get off, she sometimes doesn’t like crossing the
street by herself.
As I was getting
ready to pay, we heard a voice asks
Instantly we all
turned around to see our very own mother standing there nearly in tears but
Mom! We all looked
at each other in utter shock!!
I decided to break
the silence and ask
exactly are you doing here"?
Helping, my baby
with her prom dress.
“I'm confused, mom
can I talk to you for a second”?
“Girls, we'll be
right over on the bench if you needs us my mother gently said”.
I didn't want to
come off harsh because I can see the hurt, and regret in her eyes.
“Mom, don't you”...?
But she immediately
cuts me off...
“Honey, I'm sorry
that I haven't been there for any of you. I let the past dictate my feelings,
my actions... After your dad was put back into jail, I started feeling
worthless, like it was something I did or didn't do. Instead of trying to mend
my broken home, I looked for love elsewhere”.
Mom, why haven't
you said anything before?
“Honestly, I messed
up soo bad that I didn't know exactly where to begin until I saw a note that
was left on the refrigerator as I getting ready for work from Ellora”.
I take the note
from my mom's hands, and read it out loud.
I hope you don't think we're mad at you, okay we're kinda are, but mostly we just miss you. We used to be a family and although things are not how they used to be...
I wanted my mom to
realize that no matter what happens, your girls will always have your back!! I
wish you could come with me to help me pick out my prom dress, but I understand
that you gotta work. Well anyway, hope to see you soon.
Love you mom,
After reading this
and hearing the words, there was no dry eyes in the room.
My mom’s embrace
was the warmest, tightest hug I ever received from her and it was well over due,
so naturally I just hugged her tightly back and cried like a little girl in my
From that very
moment, things have changed... For the absolute better!!
My mother no longer works two jobs but instead she has one good job as a nurse receptionist which is in walking distance from the school. I’m doing my second year in college, it felt amazing to have my sisters and mom help me move my things in my dorm. Although I’m going to a community college, mom thought it would be fun if I still get to experience living on campus in case next year I decided that I don’t wanna live off campus and not to mention that the community is like in walking distance from our house. Elisa is getting ready to soon graduate from high school and Ellora just graduated last month. Having my mom there, but actually knowing that she is present makes all the difference. The bond that we share have never been as strong as it is today, and although we had to go through our share up storms, trials, difficult circumstances and so much more…It makes us who we are today!
Mom definitely seems happier, she’s not allowing a man to run her emotions and hide from her failures instead she’s learning to become a better woman and for that I’m so proud of her!
Be careful what you wish for, because it just might come true!